Possessed by a dream

I had a friend today got a job, she got a great job in Singapore, to be honest, I'm really happy for her, but at the same time, just an inkling of sadness and/or jealousy as well. I guess to some extent, it's a bit harder to rejoice for someone else when your not in a entirely comfortable position yourself. But the bible does say, rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn. The mature thing to do is to rejoice, and seek God for the breakthrough in your own life.

The moment I heard that happen, I felt in my own life, like the voices coming, questioning my current position in life, my choices and the path in which I've taken. It tends to come from time to time, and to be honest, it gets hard at times to keep your head up and continue continuing on.

I feel that is why, it's very important to always honour the words spoken into your life and continually listen to fresh revelation, or Rhema.

The last few years has been very interesting years, especially ever since coming to Melbourne and Planetshakers. God has been moulding my thoughts and desires, and my concepts and perceptions of the world.

Like I still believe the dream and the prophetic words of my youth, but also having to seek out God for how to get there. Too many times, we just praise God, but then go our own way, when God is wanting us to go His way. We believe in the end result, but we take our own path how to go there.

To be honest, I always question the road sometimes God is leading me. And I guess the hand of God tends to be always hindsight, therefore we live by faith and not by sight.

For example, I remember a very strong calling from God in 2007 to remain in Melbourne. And throughout 2008, when I was so poor, eating sandwhiches day in day out for so many months, just having to encourage myself was tough. I remembered many nights just felt like crying, but then re-reading again the bible verses that he had highlighted in my heart. Especially from the book of Jeremiah and Chronicles.

I really thank God for his presence though. There are moments where its all muddy and just I feel lost, but when I get into his presence, and faith fills the atmosphere, I feel as if the line of sight is clear again. I think thats why I really thank God for worship and praise. Especially in the dark nighs in my bedroom, just with the worship blasting through my headphones, and just standing there with my hands raised.

2009 has been better, though still at times I feel not there yet. And there are times I feel God is taking me around the mountain and not up and through the mountain. That the path he has set before me, is a quicker one, a short-cut, however it will be the path less taken, and I have to be strong and very couragous. Sometimes even foolhardy. If it takes me 10 years to get to my destiny and not 20, heck, I told myself I'll mop floors, scrub kitchens if it takes me, and ha ha, after Nando's, I do feel like I had a fair time doing those things. It may seem foolish to the eyes of the world, and even to myself.

Hence I feel like I always need to be connected to God, as tightly as possible, it's all about relationship, just like how Abraham brought Isaac up the mountain to sacrifice Him. Alot of times I know God is interested more in my heart and attitude, it doesn't take much for Him to just put me at the right place at the right time to be successful..

Like Joseph and his 4 P's. The Pit, Potiphar, Prison and Palace. God can move Joseph straight to the Palace, but I believe that there is a place and time for everything. What I believe is that Joseph learned to lean in to God wherever he was placed, and continued believing in the dreams of his Youth. He thought he would have been the ruler over his little family of 11, little did he know that God was setting him up for much bigger things, to be the Prime Minister of the most powerful nation of the time.

But I liked what one Pastor said, "When God blesses a man, does he gain a champion or loses one?". When I go into my security firm, at times that I'm so much more capable than this, but then just have to keep on reminding myself and seeing the good in everything that I do, like negotiating and just talking to people that I come across, believing that God is continually shaping my character to fit into the calling that he has in store for me. But God has really poured out his favour on me in both my jobs. And especially the security company has reached new heights, especially in terms of businesses and our clients tend to be very happy about our work.

So, yeah, just have to continue holding on to the promise, and just be faithful with whatever little I have in my hand. Like the story of the talents, I feel in the past I might have squandered it, God's Grace is continually over my life, so start afresh, forget the past and multiply it. I'm really believing in the more not only just next year, but also in the next coming weeks and months. What could is possibly be? I don't know, but I do believe it will be good and better than ever before.