I Value You

The thought of valuation has been in my mind these past couple of days. Well, lots of things have been in my mind, but the word "value" has been pretty strong coming again and again.

The word value means : relative worth, merit, or importance.

As a Finance student, a majority of our lessons is learning how to value stocks, shares, bonds etc. We have all sorts of financial models to attempt to price a security, purchase it and hope it makes returns. But I'm not too sure how to value everything else in real-life.

One thing I regret not doing while growing up was going shopping more often. Okay, shopping has its negatives but also its positives. To be honest, I've barely been shopping, you might even calculate the number of hours I spent shopping before I turned 21 in my life by the fingers I have on my hands. I could name a couple of reasons, but I think I was just simply too addicted to computer games that I couldn't care about the world.

Yeah, why is shopping good? I guess to me, it gives me the knowledge of valuing something. Haha, if you ask me now, who dresses me. I would give you my honest answer. My mom still dresses me. Although it might sound embarresing but it's the truth. As 95% of my wardrobe my mom bought for me. But I guess I'm slowly learning to buy my own clothes now, although difficult due to monetary limitations, but yeah, I'm slowly learning.

Hence I'm actually pretty much brand and clothes oblivious. I could walk into a girls clothes shop, look at a jacket, think its a guys jacket. Lol. I did that a couple of times, thankfully with Je-Yon, who went "John, do you know your in a girls shop?". I was like "of course i did", which I was lying. Lol. But yeah. I am unable to differentiate brands, clothes. I could be wearing girls clothes if my mom didn't dress me. Thank God for mothers~! I probably need to find a girlfriend who knows how to dress me!!

But the biggest bummer is not so much brands, but being able to value its worth. That is what gets on my nerve. I don't know enough that when I buy for example a jacket, it could be worth $100. But you could probably con me for $500. I don't know if its just simply lack of exposure or the ability to discern, but it just confounds me sometimes when I hear my friends, especially those who are rich enough to afford it but still say "its too expensive". I think thats something I'll need to re-learn. How to value clothes, how to value everything from cars, paintings, and just simply everything in totality. Which I think its true as we are stewards of God's money. God has given us his money, everything is His, but he gives us the responsibility and freedom of choice to use it wisely.

Something might COST alot. But doesn't mean it is WORTH alot. Something may be WORTH alot, doesn't necessariy COST alot. It's how you VALUE it.

And I want to learn to value things. One of the silliest but painful lessons I had recently was destroying a nice white t-shirt which I bought. The ink of another shirt ran and totally ruined my nice white t-shirts. Although it's only $20. But it felt painful because I bought it with my own money, and I truly liked the shirt. So thats the other flipside of valuing, not only you know how to discern, but also you treasure it, you want to take good care of it.

There is a mental note on things we have. Like if you dress cheap, you'll feel cheap. If you download stuff off the internet, you'll treat the real thing cheaply. The world loves to perpetuate the notion that you can have instantanious pleasure. Hence so many are in such deep credit card debt.

But if it's your hard soaked sweat and tears, you'll treasure it. In the same way that Jacob served under Job for 14 years before he got his dream wife. There is the appreciation of the fruits of your labour.

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So, how much are YOU worth? Yes, You as a person.

Can a person be valued? Monetarily. Actually, I do believe somewhat, that we can and are valued monetarily, although its not perfect but I do believe that the world evaluates and gives a worth to someone in which it is reflected based on your wages. In Risk Management they do place a value on people based on income, health and other factors.

Take a construction worker and the desk-manager. I reckon the construction worker probably works harder, but the manager gets paid more. He is valued higher, perhaps based on his education, his abilities, his skills, smarter or more effecient. Heck, even statistics proves that if your prettier, more handsome, or even dress better, you are more likely to succeed and get paid more. Hence, the coined term "dressing for success".

Even if you look in the past, things like dowry, or even in chinese culture, we have our own customs of trading an animal for a daughter. Although we may say that its just a gesture of thanks, but I'm not surprised if its previously some sort of barter trade for human life.

Although it sounds extremely cruel, but humans have a value. Hence we are investing in an education to increase our value, education, skills and knowledge ups our value. You can look at the world monetarily albeit it does feel a bit cynical to take that kind of perspective on life.

There is 2 perspectives every person have. How they value others, and how they value themselves.

People who value themselves always up their value, their self-worth. Like people who don't value themselves,do not take care of themselves and give themself away cheaply. It is the same way as someone desperate for food, they will scavange dustbins just to be filled. In some way there is a correlation of self-worth and love, akin to money, although we all know you can't buy love.

I like something Sarah quoted to me before "There are no ugly people, just people who act ugly". I think that word actually goes deeper than just the way they act in front of people, but their core values and principles, because deep inside they are not intrinsicly worth much. No doubt there are people who put on masks, but who you realy are inside would eventually be reflected on the outside.

People who value themselves and are truly worth much, they act maturely, beautifully, they take good care of themselves subjectively (hee hee), and out of an abundance of heart, they seek not only their own welfare but the welfare of others. Someone who is rich can give and help. Someone who is rich in heart is able to love others wholeheartedly.

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So how much do you value yourself? I used to have this massive struggle being able to come to reconciliation with myself. Knowing that I am not that valuable. I am not smart, I'm not strong, I'm not great, I'm a nobody. I'm not that handsome, I'm not from a rich family, I'm nothing much. The more I evaluate myself it feels like a spiral downwards into depression.

How much do I value myself? I have been bought with a price. Like I've said just now, that each and every person has actually a monetary value. I have been bought with a price. I have been bartered, just like a dowry, the men buys his wife. What is my cost? I am priceless. My value has just increased infinitely.

The cost is Jesus Christ. 2000 years ago Jesus hung on the cross for me. In his death, he has bought me, a strategic move to shift me buy me out of the Kingdom of Darkness. He has given me a new name, and a friend.

I am no more valued by the world, I have a different worth. Although I may not be worth much to this world yet, but I already have an internal worth, that would be expressed out in the external.

God values me even when I might not value myself, but if only I have a glimpse of how much God values me, I would be worth much. I am now so valuable I am overabundantly rich. Rich people value themselves, and they encourage others to see beyond their eyes as how God see's them.

The beauty of it all, is that God didn't just save me and say "I'm valuable" then leave me to fend for myself. Like the bride, he has also given to us a personal trainer. Someone to teach the bride how to act, dress and live life as a Princess or Queen would.

We have our trainer. His name is Holy Spirit. When we are saved, God see's us so absolutely valuable that he has given us his Holy Spirit. And he is teaching us how to conduct ourselves, how to live a life of Victory, he is the helper to our every need, body, soul and spirit. He will not leave us, neither will he forsake us. I can do anything in Him who strengthens me.

I am valuable, I am worth so much. And I value you, because you have been paid by the precious blood of Jesus. Now that you have accepted him, won't you see yourselves through his Eyes?

O valued Son and Daughter of Christ, "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. (Isaiah 60:1)

Jesus is coming back again...

Here's a question that's driving me bonkers right now.

Jesus is coming back again. It's supposed to make me happy. Rejoiceful. Something that I would look forward to.

But I don't. Do I look forward to Him returning? Do I even know Him?

Thats distardly disturbing. I love Him, do I? Hehe.

Yeah, some people say like Paul and Peter look forward anxiously for Jesus to return. Reason that they are suffering and persecution. I don't think so. I think they had a revelation of who Jesus is, the bride anxiously awaits the coming of her lover the groom. She prepares herself for the day he will take her away.

Do I await with the same anticipation? Do I know the lover of my soul?

Love Suffers Long

Last couple of days, the words "Love people to wholeness" have just been circling and circling in my head. It got me really thinking. Especially of a really friend of mine, due to tragedy who lost someone very dear. "Love her to wholeness". She is really suffering right now, due to the loss.

Suffering is a very unique term. Especially in the life of a Christian. To some extent it is even unavoidable and as Christians, we are asked to take pleasure in it.

Phillipians 3:10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death,11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!

2 Corinthians 1:5 For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.

2 Timothy 3:12 Yes, and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.

1 Peter 3:14 But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats

Lol, it almost seems that the Christian life is pretty masochistic. That if is that you suffer for Christ.

Suffering for Christ is not Cancer for Jesus Society, or Poverty for Jesus, or suffering from mental illness, depression and emotional distraught.

Why isn't that suffering for Christ? Jesus healed the sick, you should not be sick, cancer for Jesus is a lie, Jesus was never sick, Jesus fed the hungry, you should never go hungry because of poverty, Jesus raised the dead, your child should not die, nor should you lose your love ones early. Jesus cast the demons out of people, he set those who are in bondage free, all those who lose their mind became whole. All were made well.

A lot of Christians tend to suffer from Christian schizophrenia. To non-Christians, we say "Come to Jesus and all your sins will be forgiven". And then when we become Christians, we warn people "Beware of Sin~! After God curses you". That does not honour the blood of Jesus. Jesus blood is so powerful it has wiped out ALL sins. Past, present, future.

Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love.

Knock off the stupid stuff, live a righteous life following after the Spirit, and Live. God has so much more in store for you, more than what the world can offer. Hence, the Word of who you are in Christ, what God has in store for you, and our mission is so important.

Jesus said Matthew 6:10 - "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven." There is no sickness, poverty, death or mental psychosis in heaven. Heaven is the model. You are supposed to pull it down to earth. Jesus is the perfect representation of every Christian. We impersonate Christ, it is impossible with our own strength, but we have the Holy Spirit. All things are possible in Christ.

So what is suffering for Christ? Carrying up your cross. Bearing the burden. What did Jesus suffer on earth? Persecution and Loving people.

I like what Kris Vallotton says "You can be in pain and not love, but you cannot love and not be open to pain". The door that opens up to love opens up the opportunity for pain. When you love someone, I'm not talking about BGR, but love, truly love someone, you invest your time, emotion, and even who you are on them. You are not only just being there for them, speaking words, but giving your life, piece by piece to them to build them up. Hence, you open up yourself to hurt, because you are giving yourself to them, and people sometimes do reject that, and it is rejecting you. Or even despising what you give them.

Yeah, even as Christians we hurt each other. But learn to love each other. Because although we are humans and make mistakes that unintentionally hurt each other, 1 Peter 4:8 - "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins".

Why is loving people suffering?

Life isn't about suffering. It's about Joy. But there are times that things do "happen" in our life, or in the life of those whom we love. Like my friend, who lost her loved one. Or times of trials and tribulation, when things in life just doesn't go right.

The question is not to ask God "Why", but rather "What". The attitude in life that you adopt would set course your destiny. The difference between a David and a Saul. I don't know why things happen. Even Job asked so many questions. It's becoming one of my favorite study books because he asks all the deep crying questions of our heart but he never got any answers to them. Not because God wasn't answering His questions. Actually God was. It's simply this "I see All". Not just our current, but what is coming. He See's All. All possible alternate timeline, all possible futures, all possibilities.

One revelation I felt, is that everytime we hurt. God is hurt with us. Jesus cried when he saw Lazarus. Why do bad things happen? I don't know. But we're not there Yet. We live in a world of conflict, and if Jesus was Here, it wouldn't happen. Hence, Jesus is coming back AGAIN!!!

So why does loving others hurt? It's because not only we open up ourselves to hurt. Be we share their hurts. Phillipians 3:10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings. Fellowship, being in life with people as we are in life with Jesus.

1 Corinthians 12:26 - And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.

We suffer, because we care. To a brother or sister who has suffered loss, we as a body suffers not because the part of the body is now only dysfunctional. But we support the part, nursing it back to health, and drag it along in this world until it has been healed, pushing on for the Kingdom.

The cross is not just heaven to earth, up down, but left right, us to men. Reaching out to others, caring, loving others as Jesus love us. Getting in Fellowship with each other, carrying each others pains and burdens, and giving them up to the Lord, sharing in each others lives. The Pharisee's asked Jesus which is the GREATEST OF ALL COMMANDMENTS. Jesus gave them 1 commandment. Love God, Love men. It's not 2 commandments. It's one. When you love God, you will automatically love men.

Hence, Urban Life. It's not just a bible-study. But doing life together, sharing life in health and sickness. Praying for one another, building each other up with the Word of God, and truly being there for one another. The devil comes like a roaring Lion. And how Lions attack and kill, is by singling out their prey, and going for the kill.

To love someone who is suffering is to be really there for them. And it is and can be absolutely draining, especially if it doesn't seem to go anywhere. They can be like a black-hole, sucking, consuming everything in, just going into the "pity-me" state. Like a pauper "feed-me" mentality, hence the children of Israel went round and round in the desert for 40 years, and only 2 people out of that generation made it into the Promise Land.

Hence, repentance is a beautiful thing. And we are called to "Love people into wholeness". Love people, inspire, encourage.. for your dark night of the soul shall only last for a night. But Joy comes in the morning. To love someone into wholeness is not just simply loving people when they are down. But also to rely on the strength, wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit.

I can only impart what I have. If I do not sit at Jesus feet, I am like the dried up old wine-skin, being squeezed for the single last drop to thirsty people and squeezed out like Martha. Or I could sit at Jesus's feet and receive New Wine. You cannot bear other peoples burdens forever. But you can out of love help carry theirs, until they are ready to give it to Jesus and see the restoration flow. Like Job's 3 friends, who sat beside Job after he suffered such loss. Bearing one anothers sufferings, getting down with people, being with them in their life.

Love people into wholeness. That is your call. That is your burden. To Love like Jesus.