Just had been hearing a sermon by Erwin McManus about investing in people and was just amazed by the level of understanding and depth of wisdom concerning the topic.
Just looking back at my life, and thinking about some of the people I have invested in. My time, effort, just being there for them, driving out late into the night just to have a chat with them. Some with multiple returns and some with nothing whatsoever. It can be quite disheartening, but the people who do bring back fruits, it's really worth it.
I think thats the drive of pastoral care. That a person matures both spiritually and in his personality. The dream is to always help people find and pursue their destiny in Christ, finding their place in this world and with people of same likeness and mind. Hence, I love the Planetshaker Call "To Empower a Generation to win a generation".
I think the problem recently I've been having is not seeing people come to fruition. But these sort of things take time and prayer. Lots of prayer. Which I haven't been doing. Hehe. But even so, just have to keep on planting the seeds, and let God bring the rain.
The thing is sometimes I don't know whether the seeds that I am planting are even good. Like the bible says, wheat and the weeds. Words are powerful, and what kind of plant are you planting? I know God has given me some level of authority and charisma, in both my speech and my personality. The question is learning to be faithful, and living in integrity using the tools that God has given you.
And life, well, it is also a growing process for me. Things which I thought was right, I think maybe perhaps otherwise now. But yeah life is interesting. And I find the interesting part is that I grow a lot by mentoring people. Just wish I know more being able to impact people in a positive and better manner. Have to pray more for the keys to move hearts and minds.
---
I think aside from that, I also need to learn to invest in myself. Which I am really bad in. And like Erwin McManus says, hanging out more with friends who refresh me. I haven't really had that type of friends for a while, I think I might just be hanging out with the wrong company or not anyone at all at the moment.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
A Eulogy of 2008
Recently I've been questioning a bit about my mortality and legacy. Sounds a bit morbid, but just taking a moment of reflection, especially after I had a friend who had a bit of a cancer scare that reminded me of relatives and friends who are fighting the fight for their lives just made me put things back into a bigger picture of life in totality.
Yesterday I took a bit of time to think of several pointers to write a eulogy. Just questioning myself, how would I be remembered?
*Would I be remembered fondly? Or perhaps hated?
*Had people perceived me as happy, an encourager and a great companion to have around? Or moody and drains the life of everyone around them?
*Was I a friend to not only the loved but the unloved? The ugly, the disdained, the weird.
*Was I a giver? Or a Taker? Generous or selfish in both my emotions, finances, and even my friendship?
*How about Integrity? Do people believe in what I say? Had I lived up to my words? Do I keep my promises? Do I keep your secrets?
*Was I passionate in the way I lived my life taking risks and living a life of faith to achieve new heights? Or a coward and never amount to anything?
*Was I a dream-maker? Was I a source of encouragement? Did I even matter? Did I just lived to suck up all the life of everyone around me including resources from my parents and friends? Have I lived made a change in your life that you have lived for the better because of me?
*Did you ever see Jesus in Me?
You know what.. having a thought about this made me realise about insecurities, that it doesn't matter whether you were handsome, beautiful, hot, sexy, intelligent, rich.. or maybe even funny.
But it's not those things that you were, but what you did that left an impacting legacy of the man or woman you were. The imprint you left behind while you were on this world.
I don't have children yet, but I believe there is an inherent desire in all of us to live for a change, or live for something bigger than all of us, that if we don't succeed and finish the race, there will be others who will take the baton and run off where we left off. For Christians it would be the great commission.
Yeah, but just thinking of it, not before you die, but now, as you live. It challenges me to want to be different, to live my life differently. Like Jesus says, "Love Others". Where has the Love went? We Christ was the author of the Love Revolution. Why has the Hippies taken it over? And since when did the church resort back to Religion? I want to die, not with no regrets, but with a knowing that I lived a life of Love.
------
I believe Time is a blessing given by God. He created the days, the months,seasons and years. A year of jubilee, a year of new beginnings, a season of blessing and restoration.
Ecclesiastes 3;
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
As we come to a close of 2008, I've just been reflecting, not that I'm dying, but 2008 is. Because it cannot be relived again.
To be honest, I never really cared about new years until recently. Zooming out of my life and seeing it from above with a macro view, I want to see how far I've come, where I'm going and reviewing the how to to get there. Mistakes are never fatal, Regrets are never helpful, But Mistakes are a teacher, and regrets are meant to propel you to make a change.
Just reflecting on 2008. Yes, I have made a lot of mistakes. But that's what a new year is for. To pick up yourself from the ashes and run the race anew leaving behind the dissapointments, the frustrations, the mistakes, the sadness, the pain, the stupid choices in life. It is a time for refreshment, a time for reconciliation, a time for forgiveness, a time for a change in perspective.
Hebrews 12: 1 - And let us run with endurance the race God has set before 12.
12 - So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees.
13 Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.
Have a Happy New Year peeps. I'll See you all on the other side~!
Yesterday I took a bit of time to think of several pointers to write a eulogy. Just questioning myself, how would I be remembered?
*Would I be remembered fondly? Or perhaps hated?
*Had people perceived me as happy, an encourager and a great companion to have around? Or moody and drains the life of everyone around them?
*Was I a friend to not only the loved but the unloved? The ugly, the disdained, the weird.
*Was I a giver? Or a Taker? Generous or selfish in both my emotions, finances, and even my friendship?
*How about Integrity? Do people believe in what I say? Had I lived up to my words? Do I keep my promises? Do I keep your secrets?
*Was I passionate in the way I lived my life taking risks and living a life of faith to achieve new heights? Or a coward and never amount to anything?
*Was I a dream-maker? Was I a source of encouragement? Did I even matter? Did I just lived to suck up all the life of everyone around me including resources from my parents and friends? Have I lived made a change in your life that you have lived for the better because of me?
*Did you ever see Jesus in Me?
You know what.. having a thought about this made me realise about insecurities, that it doesn't matter whether you were handsome, beautiful, hot, sexy, intelligent, rich.. or maybe even funny.
But it's not those things that you were, but what you did that left an impacting legacy of the man or woman you were. The imprint you left behind while you were on this world.
I don't have children yet, but I believe there is an inherent desire in all of us to live for a change, or live for something bigger than all of us, that if we don't succeed and finish the race, there will be others who will take the baton and run off where we left off. For Christians it would be the great commission.
Yeah, but just thinking of it, not before you die, but now, as you live. It challenges me to want to be different, to live my life differently. Like Jesus says, "Love Others". Where has the Love went? We Christ was the author of the Love Revolution. Why has the Hippies taken it over? And since when did the church resort back to Religion? I want to die, not with no regrets, but with a knowing that I lived a life of Love.
------
I believe Time is a blessing given by God. He created the days, the months,seasons and years. A year of jubilee, a year of new beginnings, a season of blessing and restoration.
Ecclesiastes 3;
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
As we come to a close of 2008, I've just been reflecting, not that I'm dying, but 2008 is. Because it cannot be relived again.
To be honest, I never really cared about new years until recently. Zooming out of my life and seeing it from above with a macro view, I want to see how far I've come, where I'm going and reviewing the how to to get there. Mistakes are never fatal, Regrets are never helpful, But Mistakes are a teacher, and regrets are meant to propel you to make a change.
Just reflecting on 2008. Yes, I have made a lot of mistakes. But that's what a new year is for. To pick up yourself from the ashes and run the race anew leaving behind the dissapointments, the frustrations, the mistakes, the sadness, the pain, the stupid choices in life. It is a time for refreshment, a time for reconciliation, a time for forgiveness, a time for a change in perspective.
Hebrews 12: 1 - And let us run with endurance the race God has set before 12.
12 - So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees.
13 Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.
Have a Happy New Year peeps. I'll See you all on the other side~!
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Self Abandonement & Christ
Self Abandonment, self denial.
It seems to me that every religion has some form of self-denial. A denial of your desires, a denial of your personality, a denial of material wealth. Some form of self-denial. There honestly aren't too many that promotes carnality and hedonism. But a good question is how far does self-denial go? And how should it be properly integrated into the Christian life?
I mean, I struggle with it, I fight with it, I rationalize with it, I object to it.
Bill Johnson says that every religion has a a form of self-denial. But the difference is ours have a resurrection. The scary thought is always following a person, a man proclaiming to be God to the ends of the earth and at the end of time realising that He is not who he claims to be. Self-Denial in its wake is a very scary thought.
I find self-denial in totality seems demented. God created us, as an individual, with our own personality, our own soul. We look different from each other, we act different, we are different.
Absolute self-denial is to assume we are robots or Golems. A de-humanization of who we are and be a slave. We are a number and not a person. Total rejection of our hopes and dreams, personality and what that defines who I am compared to who you are.
God created me different, I believe he loves variety. There is no one single person who is the same as me. Self-denial to me, therefore cannot be truth. How can Self-Denial assume freedom, but at the same time it is bondage because it demands total subjugated to the will of another? This question seems to go to the very root meaning of freedom and the expression of our individuality.
Yes, there are verses like Matthew 10:38 which talks about taking up our cross. And other verses to say "Follow Me" and even follow Jesus to the ends of the earth. But is that self-denial? What sort of relationship is the correct view in which we have to assume with Christ as our Lord and saviour?
Colossions Chapter 2 & 3
Ephesians Chapter 5
I don't think the Christian life is a life of self-denial. Jon Ngan, pointed out to me, that the Christian life is however a denial of the sinful nature and "The old man". But not a denial of self. Like in Colossions 2:23, pious self-denial has no power to conquer over sin. The problem is that religion tries to take a hold on our mind because that is only what we have always been thought to understand. That the Christian life is a denial of our sinful nature, therefore we put boundaries of regulations to keep the "Old Men" In jail. However that is not the power of Grace working out in our life.
What has then? What is the Christian life?
Walking in the Spirit. I am who I am, yet Christ is in Me, Changing me day to day to be more like Him. Will I eventually be Christ? No. You are still you. But you are to be more like Him.
I don't believe in self-denial. I believe in the relationship with Holy Spirit.
The thing is, we do not understand the implication of the relationship with Holy Spirit and of spiritual things. I believe that is why God gave the model of Marriage. Even then, we still mess it up. When God created Adam & then the Women. God never named the women Eve. God called them both Adam. They are both one person. One Flesh. Two different people with different desires, but God see's them both as one person. It was only after the fall, that Adam named the women Eve.
When we accept Christ, we become the Church, we are married to Christ. And at the same time we are given the Holy Spirit who lives in us. Most of us, do not recognize the implication and the spiritual definition of us. The bible says that the Holy Spirit is our inheritance? He will be with us forever.
Like if we take a wife. We are of one flesh. I am not only my own, and She/He is Mine. I belong to her and she belongs to me. Therefore the same with my spouse, my Life is not only my own, it is Holy Spirit's as well, and.... (here sounds a bit scary but its true) the Spirit of the almighty God, Holy Spirit is MINE. I am His and He is Mine.
Holy Spirit who dwells in me partakes in everything that I do. We are as if husband and wife joined in Spirit.
Hence the Christian life is NEVER a life of self-denial. It is a life of a relationship. When we are born-again, we are to crucify our old nature, our old desires, but also, we are to dream with Him. Like a husband and wife, when they get married, they dream together. No more thinking about the Lazy-Boy Couch, big screen and Playstation3 as being the centre of purchases and entertainment in the house. But honestly getting proper furniture to accommodate her and our future together. Both are each others, they plan their future together, the house, the kids, their destiny now is interlinked intertwined and they both with each other in hand pursue after it.
Do we do this together with Holy Spirit? I find some streams of pentacostalism, they treat God like a big judge, we come to him with our bible verses and demand prosperity, demand healing. Do we do that to our spouse? Honey! I demand you to do this for me. How do we talk to our life when we want something from her?
If we know that Holy Spirit is in Us, who can do "All things" as "nothing is possible", we don't demand, but rather we ask of each other? How is it there are great men and women of God who can do great signs, miracles and wonders. Like a husband and wife, they draw on each others strengths and desires, and release each others abilities to change the world. Shouldn't it be the same with Us? And the Holy Spirit?
I love Jesus because he is the perfect representation of what a Christian is. He has no sin, we who accept Christ now have no sin. Jesus can do nothing except what the Father says. Aren't we the same? Jesus is pure Human, and absolutely dependent on the Power of Holy Spirit to do great signs, miracles and wonders. Is our relationship dependent on Him as well?
Like in a marriage, Holy Spirit is the perfect gentleman. The perfect husband. But he also allows the wife to do as she pleases. Hence the bible says don't grieve him.
According to Ephesians,
Husbands Love your Wife.
Wife, Submit to your husbands.
We as the Wife, do we submit ourselves to Him? The Life of a Christian is not a life of self-denial. But it is a life of submission.
Submission is difficult to be honest. Just tell that to your wife. "Wife, submit to me". It is a command. But we don't have to look at it that way. Submission seems bad by itself, because there is an absence of communication and trust.
How can you submit to someone when you do not communicate with them and you do not trust them? Hence the importance of Prayer and Faith. To be honest, we don't pray enough. Jesus prays tons! He prays the whole night away, and prayer is simply communication with God. Do we pray enough? Do we talk to God? Do we tell Him about our desires, our dreams, our worries, our cares, or simply just talk to Him about our everyday goings in and out. Why do we talk so much to our spouse and friends and neglect the person who truly matters that can make a life-changing difference?
And then trust. Do we trust Him enough? That is the life of Faith. The way God works, is that he Is Perfect. His ways are perfect. But His Ways are not always known to us as his Logic is "Everything is Possible". We can't wrap our minds around that~! And even then, we don't understand what we ask for, and what He gives us.When we want a solution, he gives us a procedure! When we want instantaneous results, he cares more about the condition of our heart. We care so much more about the destination and when he is more interested in our journey. Jesus, God the Father and Holy Spirit is PERFECT. We are not. But we are to pray, we are to have Faith an We are to Submit.
If not. We just get stuck around the mountain. Just going round and round and round.
----
Something a bit more practical to take back;
How do I know when it is God or when it is crazy thoughts in my head? I don't know. But Read your Bible, bring it to God in prayer and ask for a sign. Most people seem to do that in the bible. Lol. Then, Take risks, if its wrong, go back and talk to Him again. And You'll grow and become more like Christ. People assume when they get married, they'll go hand in hand and understand each other instantaneously. Like our girlfriend or boyfriend or even wife or husband. The longer we know them and be with them, their personality becomes part of ours. We are not ourselves anymore. We become more like Christ.
The Life of Christ is not self-denial or self abandonment. But it is a loving relationship. One that we continue to grow in, and we become more like Him. It is no more just "I" it is "Us" now.
It seems to me that every religion has some form of self-denial. A denial of your desires, a denial of your personality, a denial of material wealth. Some form of self-denial. There honestly aren't too many that promotes carnality and hedonism. But a good question is how far does self-denial go? And how should it be properly integrated into the Christian life?
I mean, I struggle with it, I fight with it, I rationalize with it, I object to it.
Bill Johnson says that every religion has a a form of self-denial. But the difference is ours have a resurrection. The scary thought is always following a person, a man proclaiming to be God to the ends of the earth and at the end of time realising that He is not who he claims to be. Self-Denial in its wake is a very scary thought.
I find self-denial in totality seems demented. God created us, as an individual, with our own personality, our own soul. We look different from each other, we act different, we are different.
Absolute self-denial is to assume we are robots or Golems. A de-humanization of who we are and be a slave. We are a number and not a person. Total rejection of our hopes and dreams, personality and what that defines who I am compared to who you are.
God created me different, I believe he loves variety. There is no one single person who is the same as me. Self-denial to me, therefore cannot be truth. How can Self-Denial assume freedom, but at the same time it is bondage because it demands total subjugated to the will of another? This question seems to go to the very root meaning of freedom and the expression of our individuality.
Yes, there are verses like Matthew 10:38 which talks about taking up our cross. And other verses to say "Follow Me" and even follow Jesus to the ends of the earth. But is that self-denial? What sort of relationship is the correct view in which we have to assume with Christ as our Lord and saviour?
Colossions Chapter 2 & 3
Ephesians Chapter 5
I don't think the Christian life is a life of self-denial. Jon Ngan, pointed out to me, that the Christian life is however a denial of the sinful nature and "The old man". But not a denial of self. Like in Colossions 2:23, pious self-denial has no power to conquer over sin. The problem is that religion tries to take a hold on our mind because that is only what we have always been thought to understand. That the Christian life is a denial of our sinful nature, therefore we put boundaries of regulations to keep the "Old Men" In jail. However that is not the power of Grace working out in our life.
What has then? What is the Christian life?
Walking in the Spirit. I am who I am, yet Christ is in Me, Changing me day to day to be more like Him. Will I eventually be Christ? No. You are still you. But you are to be more like Him.
I don't believe in self-denial. I believe in the relationship with Holy Spirit.
The thing is, we do not understand the implication of the relationship with Holy Spirit and of spiritual things. I believe that is why God gave the model of Marriage. Even then, we still mess it up. When God created Adam & then the Women. God never named the women Eve. God called them both Adam. They are both one person. One Flesh. Two different people with different desires, but God see's them both as one person. It was only after the fall, that Adam named the women Eve.
When we accept Christ, we become the Church, we are married to Christ. And at the same time we are given the Holy Spirit who lives in us. Most of us, do not recognize the implication and the spiritual definition of us. The bible says that the Holy Spirit is our inheritance? He will be with us forever.
Like if we take a wife. We are of one flesh. I am not only my own, and She/He is Mine. I belong to her and she belongs to me. Therefore the same with my spouse, my Life is not only my own, it is Holy Spirit's as well, and.... (here sounds a bit scary but its true) the Spirit of the almighty God, Holy Spirit is MINE. I am His and He is Mine.
Holy Spirit who dwells in me partakes in everything that I do. We are as if husband and wife joined in Spirit.
Hence the Christian life is NEVER a life of self-denial. It is a life of a relationship. When we are born-again, we are to crucify our old nature, our old desires, but also, we are to dream with Him. Like a husband and wife, when they get married, they dream together. No more thinking about the Lazy-Boy Couch, big screen and Playstation3 as being the centre of purchases and entertainment in the house. But honestly getting proper furniture to accommodate her and our future together. Both are each others, they plan their future together, the house, the kids, their destiny now is interlinked intertwined and they both with each other in hand pursue after it.
Do we do this together with Holy Spirit? I find some streams of pentacostalism, they treat God like a big judge, we come to him with our bible verses and demand prosperity, demand healing. Do we do that to our spouse? Honey! I demand you to do this for me. How do we talk to our life when we want something from her?
If we know that Holy Spirit is in Us, who can do "All things" as "nothing is possible", we don't demand, but rather we ask of each other? How is it there are great men and women of God who can do great signs, miracles and wonders. Like a husband and wife, they draw on each others strengths and desires, and release each others abilities to change the world. Shouldn't it be the same with Us? And the Holy Spirit?
I love Jesus because he is the perfect representation of what a Christian is. He has no sin, we who accept Christ now have no sin. Jesus can do nothing except what the Father says. Aren't we the same? Jesus is pure Human, and absolutely dependent on the Power of Holy Spirit to do great signs, miracles and wonders. Is our relationship dependent on Him as well?
Like in a marriage, Holy Spirit is the perfect gentleman. The perfect husband. But he also allows the wife to do as she pleases. Hence the bible says don't grieve him.
According to Ephesians,
Husbands Love your Wife.
Wife, Submit to your husbands.
We as the Wife, do we submit ourselves to Him? The Life of a Christian is not a life of self-denial. But it is a life of submission.
Submission is difficult to be honest. Just tell that to your wife. "Wife, submit to me". It is a command. But we don't have to look at it that way. Submission seems bad by itself, because there is an absence of communication and trust.
How can you submit to someone when you do not communicate with them and you do not trust them? Hence the importance of Prayer and Faith. To be honest, we don't pray enough. Jesus prays tons! He prays the whole night away, and prayer is simply communication with God. Do we pray enough? Do we talk to God? Do we tell Him about our desires, our dreams, our worries, our cares, or simply just talk to Him about our everyday goings in and out. Why do we talk so much to our spouse and friends and neglect the person who truly matters that can make a life-changing difference?
And then trust. Do we trust Him enough? That is the life of Faith. The way God works, is that he Is Perfect. His ways are perfect. But His Ways are not always known to us as his Logic is "Everything is Possible". We can't wrap our minds around that~! And even then, we don't understand what we ask for, and what He gives us.When we want a solution, he gives us a procedure! When we want instantaneous results, he cares more about the condition of our heart. We care so much more about the destination and when he is more interested in our journey. Jesus, God the Father and Holy Spirit is PERFECT. We are not. But we are to pray, we are to have Faith an We are to Submit.
If not. We just get stuck around the mountain. Just going round and round and round.
----
Something a bit more practical to take back;
How do I know when it is God or when it is crazy thoughts in my head? I don't know. But Read your Bible, bring it to God in prayer and ask for a sign. Most people seem to do that in the bible. Lol. Then, Take risks, if its wrong, go back and talk to Him again. And You'll grow and become more like Christ. People assume when they get married, they'll go hand in hand and understand each other instantaneously. Like our girlfriend or boyfriend or even wife or husband. The longer we know them and be with them, their personality becomes part of ours. We are not ourselves anymore. We become more like Christ.
The Life of Christ is not self-denial or self abandonment. But it is a loving relationship. One that we continue to grow in, and we become more like Him. It is no more just "I" it is "Us" now.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Blessing or Offense?
John 6:53 - 69.
In this passage, Jesus was telling his disciples, that unless they drank his blood and ate his flesh, they will live forever. And he never bothered to explain.
John 6:61 Jesus was aware that his disciples were complaining, so he said to them, “Does this offend you?"
66 At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. 67 Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?” 68 Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.
I haven't read "Bait of Satan" by John Bevere. But I heard it speaks all about offense, and living above offense. Bill Johnson talks about it very frequently, saying that the Christian life will be a life full of offense, but there is one foundational structure in our life. Is that "God is Good" and we may know his ways, his methods of doing things, but it is for us to be above offense and believe in Him.
I was talking to my sister this morning. She was telling me, that she has met a third Christian who came from New Creation Church, who came to Melbourne, and can't seem to find a "good" church. And they would prefer to stay at home rather and listen to sermons from Pastor Joseph Prince rather than coming to church.
Now, I am not against Pastor Joseph Prince. Honestly, I love him to the max. I believe he is such an amazing, extremely anointed man of God called with a special purpose and a immense revelation to preach the Grace of God. I have more than 6Gb's of his sermons, and I love listening to them. I agree with nearly everything he says, including the gospel of Grace. I have been a frequent listener for the last 4-5 years, had seen him a couple of times when he pops to Malaysia, and long for the chance to go to Singapore to drop by his church and just bask. :o)
But yeah, the interesting thing was, she has now met 3 people who has preferred to just sit at home. And to me, that is a very immature. Do I blame Pastor Joseph Prince? Nope. Knowing a couple of people from NCC, I believe these people are just a small sample of the population. Of people unable to live above offense, people who should be willing to step out and see the bigger glorious body of Christ. Even Joseph Prince has preached in his sermon "The Importance of Fellowship in the New Covenant" NOT TO FORSAKE the fellowship of the saints.
To be honest, Pastor Joseph Prince does spoil people. Spoil in a good way. Especially to be able to sit under such a powerful anointing and teaching. That it is hard to find anywhere else. I have to admit, that even most times the preaching in Planetshakers pale in comparison. I know many great friends who are from NCC. And they are on fire for God, they are evangelistic, they are great champion men and women of God. But they are those who are willing to step out of the comfort zone and stop being babies.
The thing that really got me all churned up about this matter started really when John Bevere popped by our church. He held a leadership conference in City-Life church. And so I went, knowing him by reputation. And have to admit, I was absolutely wrecked. He preached on the church, on issues of leadership, submission, discipline and even on Grace. What wrecked me, is how can someone somewhat feel like tip-toeing along the line of Grace and I would think he just be branded as a person who still worships the Law. But he is fundamentally sound in Grace, but not the quite there in terms of the revelation of Grace similar to Joseph Prince. I got back, went through John Bevere's stuff, his books, and just kept on going back to Joseph Prince back and forth towards each other.
I was so disturbed because how could both men, moving in such power in Christ, both displaying miracles acts of the Holy Spirit, and also giving praise to Christ. How could one seem so right and the other equally right when they seem to clash? Both equally powerful doctrinally in the book of Romans (The theological foundation of salvation). I even went down on my knees and asked God "Lord I do not want to be deceived, who is right?". They can seem utterly incongruent at times.
Who is right? I got my answer from God. Both are. During the moments, I felt like I had to mature, had to grow up. Not only change my thoughts in terms of theological stance, but to come to understand the immensity and sovereignty of God. That each have their own magnificent revelation revealed unto them. Bill Johnson in Toronto heard from God saying "Some of the greatest truths about the anointing is hidden in the most offensive stories in scripture". Randy Clarke was touched so powerfully when he stepped outside his theological camp, and went to the Word of Faith movement, which he has been so avoiding because of the misconceptions that he had. The word of Faith movement, in which Kenneth E Hagin is called the Father of Faith movement, which at that time was also wrought with so many levels of weirdness and error. Randy Clarke passed on the anointing and the Toronto Blessing was born.
Coming back to John Bevere and Joseph Prince. How could both be right? Both are. God would never allow one person on this earth to have a full measure of his revelation given unto him. He wants us as a church, as a body of Christ. Even Pastor Joseph Prince mentions, about the many parts of Christ, some are the hand, some are the nose, or some are the arm-pits which doesn't go too well along with the nose. God has specifically chose each and everyone of us and given us the different measure of revelation according to the destiny he has in store for us.
The growing sign of maturity as Bill Johnson says, is to eat the chicken but not the bones. There is a need to grow up. And to be honest, most of us honestly, the words we speak are fishbones with little meat. :p
No one here is theologically perfect. Why? Because we are not called to be theologically perfect but to do the works of Christ. Not works for our salvation. We don't earn Grace. But we work out of Grace. We work out of favour. We do not work to get favour, but favour is given to us to do above and beyond what we can humanly possible. The defining Pastor is one who mentors his sheep to always go back to the Bible and having a relationship with the Holy Spirit as their eventual guidance. Not only subscribing to the words of one Pastor. Even in the book of 1st Corinthians, the church squabbled over who was of Paul and Apolos. They did not have the bible yet, we do. But other churches learned to follow the Holy Spirit. Learned to discern the voice of God which is life.
John 6:68 Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.
----
People who seek to be theologically perfect without doing what it says will eventually be in error.
Matthew 7:26 - But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.
That is why we have so many theologians out there with no one in their church. They have boiled down the word of God into theological statements to beat each other up as to who is right, rather than as a guide together with the Holy Spirit to carry out the great commission. But on the flipside, I also know of powerful theologians like I believe Pastor Ben Fewster in Shakers church is our theological watchdog but he also used to ran the largest urban life in Adelaide at one time and eventually ran an entire community of urban life's.
I remember Pastor Ben Fewster preached recently, a simple message about the cross, and my gosh, I think we raked in the largest altar call in the whole year that week. When the Word is made flesh in our life. And not just arguing over Calvinism, Armenianism, the soveriegnty of God and other things just to make us sound smart. But really taking it into effect, that the Word of God is life, life to transform, to change, to heal, and to destroy the works of the devil.
1 Corinthians 2:4 And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. 5 I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God.
-----
When we are called to go outside our comfort zone. Its a sign to wake up. I think for the 3 people my sister mentioned who are in Australia, God has definitely called them to a different place. And the words required is not found overseas. But is found in the church that they are supposed to find and be well planted.
The word that Joseph Prince brings is true. It is true for his church, and the people worshipping in his church, and the very thing required for the moment where he is. Same with John Bevere, I believe he brought the exact words I needed here being in Planetshakers. Both are some of my favorite overseas preachers I have known. But at the same time, I listen to a lot of preachers all over the world, but the one in which I must subscribe to, is the word being preached here in Planetshakers, because it is life and in it is which I need to survive.
The Word of God is weighty. It is powerful. I reckon, those people need to pray, and follow the anointing. Ask the Holy Spirit to give the peace and the 'click' as to which church they would need to go to. Stick in it, and live above offense. John Bevere torn me inside out, but it was the word necessary for me to grow.
Living above offense is to live not selfishly, but to live maturely. Not only just spitting out the bones, but also having the bigger picture that we are all the same body of Christ. Churches of all forms, moves and theologies play each different roles in the harvest for the Kingdom of God. And we as individuals do sometimes get moved around to different parts, but to learn to submit under the anointing called by the Holy Spirit and live above offense is the doorway into greater blessings and maturity.
Quoting Bill Johnson who is Quoting Paul Cain,
"Be careful about offense, why? Because when you grow in the experience and revelation in the Lord, the tendency is to be more exacting and offended of other people when they don't mirror your values. We do good at momentum learning how God moves in a particular way, it is easy to spot those who don't function the same way. We have to be careful not to pick up a spirit of offense because we feel justified someone doesn't measure up to our theological standards. The Lord Requires us to maneouvre through minefields our entire life. Its why we have revelation from God and almost always have contradictory circumstances."
In this passage, Jesus was telling his disciples, that unless they drank his blood and ate his flesh, they will live forever. And he never bothered to explain.
John 6:61 Jesus was aware that his disciples were complaining, so he said to them, “Does this offend you?"
66 At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. 67 Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?” 68 Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.
I haven't read "Bait of Satan" by John Bevere. But I heard it speaks all about offense, and living above offense. Bill Johnson talks about it very frequently, saying that the Christian life will be a life full of offense, but there is one foundational structure in our life. Is that "God is Good" and we may know his ways, his methods of doing things, but it is for us to be above offense and believe in Him.
I was talking to my sister this morning. She was telling me, that she has met a third Christian who came from New Creation Church, who came to Melbourne, and can't seem to find a "good" church. And they would prefer to stay at home rather and listen to sermons from Pastor Joseph Prince rather than coming to church.
Now, I am not against Pastor Joseph Prince. Honestly, I love him to the max. I believe he is such an amazing, extremely anointed man of God called with a special purpose and a immense revelation to preach the Grace of God. I have more than 6Gb's of his sermons, and I love listening to them. I agree with nearly everything he says, including the gospel of Grace. I have been a frequent listener for the last 4-5 years, had seen him a couple of times when he pops to Malaysia, and long for the chance to go to Singapore to drop by his church and just bask. :o)
But yeah, the interesting thing was, she has now met 3 people who has preferred to just sit at home. And to me, that is a very immature. Do I blame Pastor Joseph Prince? Nope. Knowing a couple of people from NCC, I believe these people are just a small sample of the population. Of people unable to live above offense, people who should be willing to step out and see the bigger glorious body of Christ. Even Joseph Prince has preached in his sermon "The Importance of Fellowship in the New Covenant" NOT TO FORSAKE the fellowship of the saints.
To be honest, Pastor Joseph Prince does spoil people. Spoil in a good way. Especially to be able to sit under such a powerful anointing and teaching. That it is hard to find anywhere else. I have to admit, that even most times the preaching in Planetshakers pale in comparison. I know many great friends who are from NCC. And they are on fire for God, they are evangelistic, they are great champion men and women of God. But they are those who are willing to step out of the comfort zone and stop being babies.
The thing that really got me all churned up about this matter started really when John Bevere popped by our church. He held a leadership conference in City-Life church. And so I went, knowing him by reputation. And have to admit, I was absolutely wrecked. He preached on the church, on issues of leadership, submission, discipline and even on Grace. What wrecked me, is how can someone somewhat feel like tip-toeing along the line of Grace and I would think he just be branded as a person who still worships the Law. But he is fundamentally sound in Grace, but not the quite there in terms of the revelation of Grace similar to Joseph Prince. I got back, went through John Bevere's stuff, his books, and just kept on going back to Joseph Prince back and forth towards each other.
I was so disturbed because how could both men, moving in such power in Christ, both displaying miracles acts of the Holy Spirit, and also giving praise to Christ. How could one seem so right and the other equally right when they seem to clash? Both equally powerful doctrinally in the book of Romans (The theological foundation of salvation). I even went down on my knees and asked God "Lord I do not want to be deceived, who is right?". They can seem utterly incongruent at times.
Who is right? I got my answer from God. Both are. During the moments, I felt like I had to mature, had to grow up. Not only change my thoughts in terms of theological stance, but to come to understand the immensity and sovereignty of God. That each have their own magnificent revelation revealed unto them. Bill Johnson in Toronto heard from God saying "Some of the greatest truths about the anointing is hidden in the most offensive stories in scripture". Randy Clarke was touched so powerfully when he stepped outside his theological camp, and went to the Word of Faith movement, which he has been so avoiding because of the misconceptions that he had. The word of Faith movement, in which Kenneth E Hagin is called the Father of Faith movement, which at that time was also wrought with so many levels of weirdness and error. Randy Clarke passed on the anointing and the Toronto Blessing was born.
Coming back to John Bevere and Joseph Prince. How could both be right? Both are. God would never allow one person on this earth to have a full measure of his revelation given unto him. He wants us as a church, as a body of Christ. Even Pastor Joseph Prince mentions, about the many parts of Christ, some are the hand, some are the nose, or some are the arm-pits which doesn't go too well along with the nose. God has specifically chose each and everyone of us and given us the different measure of revelation according to the destiny he has in store for us.
The growing sign of maturity as Bill Johnson says, is to eat the chicken but not the bones. There is a need to grow up. And to be honest, most of us honestly, the words we speak are fishbones with little meat. :p
No one here is theologically perfect. Why? Because we are not called to be theologically perfect but to do the works of Christ. Not works for our salvation. We don't earn Grace. But we work out of Grace. We work out of favour. We do not work to get favour, but favour is given to us to do above and beyond what we can humanly possible. The defining Pastor is one who mentors his sheep to always go back to the Bible and having a relationship with the Holy Spirit as their eventual guidance. Not only subscribing to the words of one Pastor. Even in the book of 1st Corinthians, the church squabbled over who was of Paul and Apolos. They did not have the bible yet, we do. But other churches learned to follow the Holy Spirit. Learned to discern the voice of God which is life.
John 6:68 Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.
----
People who seek to be theologically perfect without doing what it says will eventually be in error.
Matthew 7:26 - But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.
That is why we have so many theologians out there with no one in their church. They have boiled down the word of God into theological statements to beat each other up as to who is right, rather than as a guide together with the Holy Spirit to carry out the great commission. But on the flipside, I also know of powerful theologians like I believe Pastor Ben Fewster in Shakers church is our theological watchdog but he also used to ran the largest urban life in Adelaide at one time and eventually ran an entire community of urban life's.
I remember Pastor Ben Fewster preached recently, a simple message about the cross, and my gosh, I think we raked in the largest altar call in the whole year that week. When the Word is made flesh in our life. And not just arguing over Calvinism, Armenianism, the soveriegnty of God and other things just to make us sound smart. But really taking it into effect, that the Word of God is life, life to transform, to change, to heal, and to destroy the works of the devil.
1 Corinthians 2:4 And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. 5 I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God.
-----
When we are called to go outside our comfort zone. Its a sign to wake up. I think for the 3 people my sister mentioned who are in Australia, God has definitely called them to a different place. And the words required is not found overseas. But is found in the church that they are supposed to find and be well planted.
The word that Joseph Prince brings is true. It is true for his church, and the people worshipping in his church, and the very thing required for the moment where he is. Same with John Bevere, I believe he brought the exact words I needed here being in Planetshakers. Both are some of my favorite overseas preachers I have known. But at the same time, I listen to a lot of preachers all over the world, but the one in which I must subscribe to, is the word being preached here in Planetshakers, because it is life and in it is which I need to survive.
The Word of God is weighty. It is powerful. I reckon, those people need to pray, and follow the anointing. Ask the Holy Spirit to give the peace and the 'click' as to which church they would need to go to. Stick in it, and live above offense. John Bevere torn me inside out, but it was the word necessary for me to grow.
Living above offense is to live not selfishly, but to live maturely. Not only just spitting out the bones, but also having the bigger picture that we are all the same body of Christ. Churches of all forms, moves and theologies play each different roles in the harvest for the Kingdom of God. And we as individuals do sometimes get moved around to different parts, but to learn to submit under the anointing called by the Holy Spirit and live above offense is the doorway into greater blessings and maturity.
Quoting Bill Johnson who is Quoting Paul Cain,
"Be careful about offense, why? Because when you grow in the experience and revelation in the Lord, the tendency is to be more exacting and offended of other people when they don't mirror your values. We do good at momentum learning how God moves in a particular way, it is easy to spot those who don't function the same way. We have to be careful not to pick up a spirit of offense because we feel justified someone doesn't measure up to our theological standards. The Lord Requires us to maneouvre through minefields our entire life. Its why we have revelation from God and almost always have contradictory circumstances."
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Who I am (Part 2) - The Insecurity
I've been wanting to write about this for a while.
In the first part, I've previously mentioned about me being Insecure. I believe technically everybody is insecure. I guess my insecurity is kind of a different nature compared to most definition of insecurity.
Insecurity - 2. the quality or state of being insecure;
Yes, I am insecure, it's because I am not believing enough in a Big God.
There is so many things happening around me. I've partaken on a journey that is so highly risky, at times I feel its a fools dream. I don't know what spurred me on to continue here in Australia. And to be honest, it seems like more doors are closing on me the further I go in this journey. It is so incredibly distressing to know that the odds are going against me every passing week and month.
I have never grown as much as I had in this 2008. Both spiritually, mentally, and just my outlook on life. Needing to continually revisit the life lessons previously again and again, suffering with some level of depression every time I look out at the circumstance of life.
It's incredibly hard to take on the challenges ahead of me, and then at the same time, take a step a day at a time. I guess like most people, we always love our comforts. The stability that knowing tomorrow will just be another day like previously before. It makes me wonder what goes through the minds of people in starving areas of Africa. The worry and distressing thoughts continually plaguing their mind. It almost seem and probably is demonic in essence. Fear.
Its in these moments, Matthew 6:25-31 needs to be continually refreshed in my life. To not worry about life, nor tomorrow, but seek His Righteousness and His Kingdom dominion over my life.
One of the most blessed things I have in my life is my friends and family. How they are so incredibly supportive of me throughout the dark seasons. And I thank God continually for giving me them, as the prized possessions of my life. Brothers and sisters.
I just want to remember a few people. Firstly my sister. To sacrificially support me through thick and thin when things are just tight. My uncle, who has kept my hopes and dreams alive. Daniel boss, who has been my glimmer of hope, that God has purposed for me greater things in store. Weng Wah, for reminding me again to live the words that I preach again and again, who he thinks me as His Hero, but actually its more the other way around especially the hell he has endured and gotten this far. Then there is also Bernie, her childlike faith knowing that Papa God is always there for her and learning to Praise Him for the simple things.
Then there is Bill Johnson, the teachings and words being stored up in me before learning its application. I feel that I've never been so prepared for a moment in time like this. And Russell Evans, for the recharge and grace imparted from the pulpit.
Its moments like these, I am reminded again, that God is not too concerned about your comfort, but He is most concerned about Your Victory. There are times we need to take a stand against the storms. Sometimes we take a hitting, we fall down and bruise a elbow. But it would not go over us, it would not sweep us away. Victory is ours, and after it has passed, the glorious award awaits us.
Daddy God has allowed these things to be set into motion, because we are taking back authority and land like what TD Jakes says "You'll learn more from your enemies than from your friends".
Am I still insecure? Yes, every time I do not magnify Jesus but magnify the circumstance.
In the first part, I've previously mentioned about me being Insecure. I believe technically everybody is insecure. I guess my insecurity is kind of a different nature compared to most definition of insecurity.
Insecurity - 2. the quality or state of being insecure;
Yes, I am insecure, it's because I am not believing enough in a Big God.
There is so many things happening around me. I've partaken on a journey that is so highly risky, at times I feel its a fools dream. I don't know what spurred me on to continue here in Australia. And to be honest, it seems like more doors are closing on me the further I go in this journey. It is so incredibly distressing to know that the odds are going against me every passing week and month.
I have never grown as much as I had in this 2008. Both spiritually, mentally, and just my outlook on life. Needing to continually revisit the life lessons previously again and again, suffering with some level of depression every time I look out at the circumstance of life.
It's incredibly hard to take on the challenges ahead of me, and then at the same time, take a step a day at a time. I guess like most people, we always love our comforts. The stability that knowing tomorrow will just be another day like previously before. It makes me wonder what goes through the minds of people in starving areas of Africa. The worry and distressing thoughts continually plaguing their mind. It almost seem and probably is demonic in essence. Fear.
Its in these moments, Matthew 6:25-31 needs to be continually refreshed in my life. To not worry about life, nor tomorrow, but seek His Righteousness and His Kingdom dominion over my life.
One of the most blessed things I have in my life is my friends and family. How they are so incredibly supportive of me throughout the dark seasons. And I thank God continually for giving me them, as the prized possessions of my life. Brothers and sisters.
I just want to remember a few people. Firstly my sister. To sacrificially support me through thick and thin when things are just tight. My uncle, who has kept my hopes and dreams alive. Daniel boss, who has been my glimmer of hope, that God has purposed for me greater things in store. Weng Wah, for reminding me again to live the words that I preach again and again, who he thinks me as His Hero, but actually its more the other way around especially the hell he has endured and gotten this far. Then there is also Bernie, her childlike faith knowing that Papa God is always there for her and learning to Praise Him for the simple things.
Then there is Bill Johnson, the teachings and words being stored up in me before learning its application. I feel that I've never been so prepared for a moment in time like this. And Russell Evans, for the recharge and grace imparted from the pulpit.
Its moments like these, I am reminded again, that God is not too concerned about your comfort, but He is most concerned about Your Victory. There are times we need to take a stand against the storms. Sometimes we take a hitting, we fall down and bruise a elbow. But it would not go over us, it would not sweep us away. Victory is ours, and after it has passed, the glorious award awaits us.
Daddy God has allowed these things to be set into motion, because we are taking back authority and land like what TD Jakes says "You'll learn more from your enemies than from your friends".
Am I still insecure? Yes, every time I do not magnify Jesus but magnify the circumstance.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Who am I (Part 1)
I am intrigued by the issue of personality. Stealing from wikipedia, "Personality can be defined as a dynamic and organized set of characteristics possessed by a person that uniquely influences his or her cognitions, motivations, and behaviors in various situations" (Ryckman, 2004). Simply put, I love people and how they react to a situation. One of the bad habits I've recently picked up is trying to understand why people act the way they act, think the way they think, and do the things they do. And even worse yet, is adopting it into my personality just to see if it fits me, but I'll go more into that later.
And I guess it goes to the root core that perhaps I was insecure in my own personality,I am seeking for a better way of life. Many of us take after the culture or the thoughts of our parents. If not our parents, perhaps our friends. A large proportion of who we are is by imitating others, but there is also a 'you'. Remembering a movie that I loved watching over and over again called "Dark City" which questions the issue of the soul, where aliens transferring memories into a small sample of humans to investigate whether we are truly blank slates, or are we actually our own person?
Yeah, going back to the point of seeking a better way of life. I think it comes from knowing that there is a better one than the one I am currently living. Not that I've been reading a lot of self-help books, but I do believe in the power of thoughts. That the thoughts we carry whether we know it or not, it does affect our personality. And the guiding thoughts are called principles. From principles, we make our decisions, whether our principles are misguided or flawed.
Even the bible exhorts this; Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the (pattern) of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
I believe that Jesus was a man of principles. The things he taught while he was living, the things he taught on living, are all principles. He lived by the Spirit, but even God has his personality that he never betrays who He is. Hence Jesus taught us how to pray, how to live your life. Hmm, I can go exogetically into it, but I need to sleep later. Haha.
Okay, not to sidetrack, the problem starts when I went on a personal journey of self-exploration sometime early 2008. An Inward examination of my principles, my guiding thoughts. Then I went outside, exploring others, comparing, trying to understand people and those that I find unique, I try and adopt it unto my own, see if it fits the puzzle of who I am and can I be better with it? Then from there, I started going into the bible, taking principles, comparing to my life and adopting them forcing myself to comply into behaviours and thoughts that are more in aligned with the word.
And you know what was the outcome? I felt lost, wondering who really is John? I became depressed, felt self-centred, insecure, and just incredibly uncomfortable with who I am. I felt like I was useless, and weak in my will. Someone not of any worth, and have no potential future. I felt unloved, and despised. I even felt struggling to keep sane, like my thoughts we unbalanced, something felt wrong with me all the time. Haha! I had became obsessed with my weakness, not ever going to live up to my own expectations and my own dreams. Forever to live a life mediocrity and never living. I felt like a worm.
To say with some sense of humour looking back at it, It was Definitely one of the most unique moments in my life. But you know what, I got set free by his word. Collosians chapter 3 found me.
Collosians 3: 1 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand.2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. 3 For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.
What was I doing wrong the entire time? It's called Necrophilia. Making love with the dead. I started finding out the old man as in the book of Romans, Paul calls it the flesh, and romancing with him again. The problem about inward looking, is that you will definitely find something wrong with yourself. There is a thousand different things wrong with yourself. If there was nothing wrong, Jesus wouldn't need to die.
I had forgotten, that the old me has died, and I have been finding him out, chopping myself to bits when I have been raised to a new life with Christ. So.....Who is John? My real-life is hidden with Christ in God. I remembered someone quoted this, I think it's Pastor Russell Evans "You look inwards, you get depressed, you look outwards you get suppresed, you look upwards, you get refreshed".
Who is John? vs.4 "When Christ, Who is your life is revealed to the whole world (appear). You will share in all his glory". The thing is that I am so eager to find out who I really am, in order to fix myself. The problem is that, you CAN NEVER find out who you really are by finding for yourself.For you are HIDDEN with Christ, you live by the Spirit, not by fixing the flesh. Things with Christ have to be revealed by revelation, not found. You can only find out more about yourself when you find for Christ. By seeing him, we are being changed from glory to glory.
God changes us when we seek him, not when we seek ourselves and trying to fix ourselves. The Word of God is a double edged sword. One of the things I was doing which I feel isn't the smartest thing, is to take the word of God, boil it down to principles. Nothing wrong with that, but when I start mincing myself to bits with the sword, that is where I felt broken all in the inside. For the word is also life, and Daddy God is more interested in transformational change not just theological. He didn't die so that you changed your theology. He didn't die so that your principles are changed, he died for You for a relationship, I had been romancing with the wrong person, my flesh and not Christ.
If you feel that you are a no good dirty rotten fella, it's because you have not seen Christ. The lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, shall surely take away yours, and renew you, and lift you up from the miry clay.
And that practically saved me from a lot more months of feeling mental. :D Interesting isn't it?
2 Corinthians 10: 3 We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. 4We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. 6 And after you have become fully obedient, we will punish everyone who remains disobedient.
Yeah. Thoughts, thinking too much, the whole gamut of how It came to be, is interesting. I always felt that depression is getting trapped in your thoughts. Whether the thought might be worry, emotions that you can't get out, or even mine, the thought of seeking self-change so badly I went on a crusade of self and couldn't get out.
So thank God, he set me free. The thought that, my future is safe with Him despite the circumstances of life. Yeah, it finally gave me a peace of mind. :D
And I guess it goes to the root core that perhaps I was insecure in my own personality,I am seeking for a better way of life. Many of us take after the culture or the thoughts of our parents. If not our parents, perhaps our friends. A large proportion of who we are is by imitating others, but there is also a 'you'. Remembering a movie that I loved watching over and over again called "Dark City" which questions the issue of the soul, where aliens transferring memories into a small sample of humans to investigate whether we are truly blank slates, or are we actually our own person?
Yeah, going back to the point of seeking a better way of life. I think it comes from knowing that there is a better one than the one I am currently living. Not that I've been reading a lot of self-help books, but I do believe in the power of thoughts. That the thoughts we carry whether we know it or not, it does affect our personality. And the guiding thoughts are called principles. From principles, we make our decisions, whether our principles are misguided or flawed.
Even the bible exhorts this; Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the (pattern) of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
I believe that Jesus was a man of principles. The things he taught while he was living, the things he taught on living, are all principles. He lived by the Spirit, but even God has his personality that he never betrays who He is. Hence Jesus taught us how to pray, how to live your life. Hmm, I can go exogetically into it, but I need to sleep later. Haha.
Okay, not to sidetrack, the problem starts when I went on a personal journey of self-exploration sometime early 2008. An Inward examination of my principles, my guiding thoughts. Then I went outside, exploring others, comparing, trying to understand people and those that I find unique, I try and adopt it unto my own, see if it fits the puzzle of who I am and can I be better with it? Then from there, I started going into the bible, taking principles, comparing to my life and adopting them forcing myself to comply into behaviours and thoughts that are more in aligned with the word.
And you know what was the outcome? I felt lost, wondering who really is John? I became depressed, felt self-centred, insecure, and just incredibly uncomfortable with who I am. I felt like I was useless, and weak in my will. Someone not of any worth, and have no potential future. I felt unloved, and despised. I even felt struggling to keep sane, like my thoughts we unbalanced, something felt wrong with me all the time. Haha! I had became obsessed with my weakness, not ever going to live up to my own expectations and my own dreams. Forever to live a life mediocrity and never living. I felt like a worm.
To say with some sense of humour looking back at it, It was Definitely one of the most unique moments in my life. But you know what, I got set free by his word. Collosians chapter 3 found me.
Collosians 3: 1 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand.2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. 3 For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.
What was I doing wrong the entire time? It's called Necrophilia. Making love with the dead. I started finding out the old man as in the book of Romans, Paul calls it the flesh, and romancing with him again. The problem about inward looking, is that you will definitely find something wrong with yourself. There is a thousand different things wrong with yourself. If there was nothing wrong, Jesus wouldn't need to die.
I had forgotten, that the old me has died, and I have been finding him out, chopping myself to bits when I have been raised to a new life with Christ. So.....Who is John? My real-life is hidden with Christ in God. I remembered someone quoted this, I think it's Pastor Russell Evans "You look inwards, you get depressed, you look outwards you get suppresed, you look upwards, you get refreshed".
Who is John? vs.4 "When Christ, Who is your life is revealed to the whole world (appear). You will share in all his glory". The thing is that I am so eager to find out who I really am, in order to fix myself. The problem is that, you CAN NEVER find out who you really are by finding for yourself.For you are HIDDEN with Christ, you live by the Spirit, not by fixing the flesh. Things with Christ have to be revealed by revelation, not found. You can only find out more about yourself when you find for Christ. By seeing him, we are being changed from glory to glory.
God changes us when we seek him, not when we seek ourselves and trying to fix ourselves. The Word of God is a double edged sword. One of the things I was doing which I feel isn't the smartest thing, is to take the word of God, boil it down to principles. Nothing wrong with that, but when I start mincing myself to bits with the sword, that is where I felt broken all in the inside. For the word is also life, and Daddy God is more interested in transformational change not just theological. He didn't die so that you changed your theology. He didn't die so that your principles are changed, he died for You for a relationship, I had been romancing with the wrong person, my flesh and not Christ.
If you feel that you are a no good dirty rotten fella, it's because you have not seen Christ. The lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, shall surely take away yours, and renew you, and lift you up from the miry clay.
And that practically saved me from a lot more months of feeling mental. :D Interesting isn't it?
2 Corinthians 10: 3 We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. 4We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. 6 And after you have become fully obedient, we will punish everyone who remains disobedient.
Yeah. Thoughts, thinking too much, the whole gamut of how It came to be, is interesting. I always felt that depression is getting trapped in your thoughts. Whether the thought might be worry, emotions that you can't get out, or even mine, the thought of seeking self-change so badly I went on a crusade of self and couldn't get out.
So thank God, he set me free. The thought that, my future is safe with Him despite the circumstances of life. Yeah, it finally gave me a peace of mind. :D
Friday, July 25, 2008
I Value You
The thought of valuation has been in my mind these past couple of days. Well, lots of things have been in my mind, but the word "value" has been pretty strong coming again and again.
The word value means : relative worth, merit, or importance.
As a Finance student, a majority of our lessons is learning how to value stocks, shares, bonds etc. We have all sorts of financial models to attempt to price a security, purchase it and hope it makes returns. But I'm not too sure how to value everything else in real-life.
One thing I regret not doing while growing up was going shopping more often. Okay, shopping has its negatives but also its positives. To be honest, I've barely been shopping, you might even calculate the number of hours I spent shopping before I turned 21 in my life by the fingers I have on my hands. I could name a couple of reasons, but I think I was just simply too addicted to computer games that I couldn't care about the world.
Yeah, why is shopping good? I guess to me, it gives me the knowledge of valuing something. Haha, if you ask me now, who dresses me. I would give you my honest answer. My mom still dresses me. Although it might sound embarresing but it's the truth. As 95% of my wardrobe my mom bought for me. But I guess I'm slowly learning to buy my own clothes now, although difficult due to monetary limitations, but yeah, I'm slowly learning.
Hence I'm actually pretty much brand and clothes oblivious. I could walk into a girls clothes shop, look at a jacket, think its a guys jacket. Lol. I did that a couple of times, thankfully with Je-Yon, who went "John, do you know your in a girls shop?". I was like "of course i did", which I was lying. Lol. But yeah. I am unable to differentiate brands, clothes. I could be wearing girls clothes if my mom didn't dress me. Thank God for mothers~! I probably need to find a girlfriend who knows how to dress me!!
But the biggest bummer is not so much brands, but being able to value its worth. That is what gets on my nerve. I don't know enough that when I buy for example a jacket, it could be worth $100. But you could probably con me for $500. I don't know if its just simply lack of exposure or the ability to discern, but it just confounds me sometimes when I hear my friends, especially those who are rich enough to afford it but still say "its too expensive". I think thats something I'll need to re-learn. How to value clothes, how to value everything from cars, paintings, and just simply everything in totality. Which I think its true as we are stewards of God's money. God has given us his money, everything is His, but he gives us the responsibility and freedom of choice to use it wisely.
Something might COST alot. But doesn't mean it is WORTH alot. Something may be WORTH alot, doesn't necessariy COST alot. It's how you VALUE it.
And I want to learn to value things. One of the silliest but painful lessons I had recently was destroying a nice white t-shirt which I bought. The ink of another shirt ran and totally ruined my nice white t-shirts. Although it's only $20. But it felt painful because I bought it with my own money, and I truly liked the shirt. So thats the other flipside of valuing, not only you know how to discern, but also you treasure it, you want to take good care of it.
There is a mental note on things we have. Like if you dress cheap, you'll feel cheap. If you download stuff off the internet, you'll treat the real thing cheaply. The world loves to perpetuate the notion that you can have instantanious pleasure. Hence so many are in such deep credit card debt.
But if it's your hard soaked sweat and tears, you'll treasure it. In the same way that Jacob served under Job for 14 years before he got his dream wife. There is the appreciation of the fruits of your labour.
---
So, how much are YOU worth? Yes, You as a person.
Can a person be valued? Monetarily. Actually, I do believe somewhat, that we can and are valued monetarily, although its not perfect but I do believe that the world evaluates and gives a worth to someone in which it is reflected based on your wages. In Risk Management they do place a value on people based on income, health and other factors.
Take a construction worker and the desk-manager. I reckon the construction worker probably works harder, but the manager gets paid more. He is valued higher, perhaps based on his education, his abilities, his skills, smarter or more effecient. Heck, even statistics proves that if your prettier, more handsome, or even dress better, you are more likely to succeed and get paid more. Hence, the coined term "dressing for success".
Even if you look in the past, things like dowry, or even in chinese culture, we have our own customs of trading an animal for a daughter. Although we may say that its just a gesture of thanks, but I'm not surprised if its previously some sort of barter trade for human life.
Although it sounds extremely cruel, but humans have a value. Hence we are investing in an education to increase our value, education, skills and knowledge ups our value. You can look at the world monetarily albeit it does feel a bit cynical to take that kind of perspective on life.
There is 2 perspectives every person have. How they value others, and how they value themselves.
People who value themselves always up their value, their self-worth. Like people who don't value themselves,do not take care of themselves and give themself away cheaply. It is the same way as someone desperate for food, they will scavange dustbins just to be filled. In some way there is a correlation of self-worth and love, akin to money, although we all know you can't buy love.
I like something Sarah quoted to me before "There are no ugly people, just people who act ugly". I think that word actually goes deeper than just the way they act in front of people, but their core values and principles, because deep inside they are not intrinsicly worth much. No doubt there are people who put on masks, but who you realy are inside would eventually be reflected on the outside.
People who value themselves and are truly worth much, they act maturely, beautifully, they take good care of themselves subjectively (hee hee), and out of an abundance of heart, they seek not only their own welfare but the welfare of others. Someone who is rich can give and help. Someone who is rich in heart is able to love others wholeheartedly.
-----
So how much do you value yourself? I used to have this massive struggle being able to come to reconciliation with myself. Knowing that I am not that valuable. I am not smart, I'm not strong, I'm not great, I'm a nobody. I'm not that handsome, I'm not from a rich family, I'm nothing much. The more I evaluate myself it feels like a spiral downwards into depression.
How much do I value myself? I have been bought with a price. Like I've said just now, that each and every person has actually a monetary value. I have been bought with a price. I have been bartered, just like a dowry, the men buys his wife. What is my cost? I am priceless. My value has just increased infinitely.
The cost is Jesus Christ. 2000 years ago Jesus hung on the cross for me. In his death, he has bought me, a strategic move to shift me buy me out of the Kingdom of Darkness. He has given me a new name, and a friend.
I am no more valued by the world, I have a different worth. Although I may not be worth much to this world yet, but I already have an internal worth, that would be expressed out in the external.
God values me even when I might not value myself, but if only I have a glimpse of how much God values me, I would be worth much. I am now so valuable I am overabundantly rich. Rich people value themselves, and they encourage others to see beyond their eyes as how God see's them.
The beauty of it all, is that God didn't just save me and say "I'm valuable" then leave me to fend for myself. Like the bride, he has also given to us a personal trainer. Someone to teach the bride how to act, dress and live life as a Princess or Queen would.
We have our trainer. His name is Holy Spirit. When we are saved, God see's us so absolutely valuable that he has given us his Holy Spirit. And he is teaching us how to conduct ourselves, how to live a life of Victory, he is the helper to our every need, body, soul and spirit. He will not leave us, neither will he forsake us. I can do anything in Him who strengthens me.
I am valuable, I am worth so much. And I value you, because you have been paid by the precious blood of Jesus. Now that you have accepted him, won't you see yourselves through his Eyes?
O valued Son and Daughter of Christ, "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. (Isaiah 60:1)
The word value means : relative worth, merit, or importance.
As a Finance student, a majority of our lessons is learning how to value stocks, shares, bonds etc. We have all sorts of financial models to attempt to price a security, purchase it and hope it makes returns. But I'm not too sure how to value everything else in real-life.
One thing I regret not doing while growing up was going shopping more often. Okay, shopping has its negatives but also its positives. To be honest, I've barely been shopping, you might even calculate the number of hours I spent shopping before I turned 21 in my life by the fingers I have on my hands. I could name a couple of reasons, but I think I was just simply too addicted to computer games that I couldn't care about the world.
Yeah, why is shopping good? I guess to me, it gives me the knowledge of valuing something. Haha, if you ask me now, who dresses me. I would give you my honest answer. My mom still dresses me. Although it might sound embarresing but it's the truth. As 95% of my wardrobe my mom bought for me. But I guess I'm slowly learning to buy my own clothes now, although difficult due to monetary limitations, but yeah, I'm slowly learning.
Hence I'm actually pretty much brand and clothes oblivious. I could walk into a girls clothes shop, look at a jacket, think its a guys jacket. Lol. I did that a couple of times, thankfully with Je-Yon, who went "John, do you know your in a girls shop?". I was like "of course i did", which I was lying. Lol. But yeah. I am unable to differentiate brands, clothes. I could be wearing girls clothes if my mom didn't dress me. Thank God for mothers~! I probably need to find a girlfriend who knows how to dress me!!
But the biggest bummer is not so much brands, but being able to value its worth. That is what gets on my nerve. I don't know enough that when I buy for example a jacket, it could be worth $100. But you could probably con me for $500. I don't know if its just simply lack of exposure or the ability to discern, but it just confounds me sometimes when I hear my friends, especially those who are rich enough to afford it but still say "its too expensive". I think thats something I'll need to re-learn. How to value clothes, how to value everything from cars, paintings, and just simply everything in totality. Which I think its true as we are stewards of God's money. God has given us his money, everything is His, but he gives us the responsibility and freedom of choice to use it wisely.
Something might COST alot. But doesn't mean it is WORTH alot. Something may be WORTH alot, doesn't necessariy COST alot. It's how you VALUE it.
And I want to learn to value things. One of the silliest but painful lessons I had recently was destroying a nice white t-shirt which I bought. The ink of another shirt ran and totally ruined my nice white t-shirts. Although it's only $20. But it felt painful because I bought it with my own money, and I truly liked the shirt. So thats the other flipside of valuing, not only you know how to discern, but also you treasure it, you want to take good care of it.
There is a mental note on things we have. Like if you dress cheap, you'll feel cheap. If you download stuff off the internet, you'll treat the real thing cheaply. The world loves to perpetuate the notion that you can have instantanious pleasure. Hence so many are in such deep credit card debt.
But if it's your hard soaked sweat and tears, you'll treasure it. In the same way that Jacob served under Job for 14 years before he got his dream wife. There is the appreciation of the fruits of your labour.
---
So, how much are YOU worth? Yes, You as a person.
Can a person be valued? Monetarily. Actually, I do believe somewhat, that we can and are valued monetarily, although its not perfect but I do believe that the world evaluates and gives a worth to someone in which it is reflected based on your wages. In Risk Management they do place a value on people based on income, health and other factors.
Take a construction worker and the desk-manager. I reckon the construction worker probably works harder, but the manager gets paid more. He is valued higher, perhaps based on his education, his abilities, his skills, smarter or more effecient. Heck, even statistics proves that if your prettier, more handsome, or even dress better, you are more likely to succeed and get paid more. Hence, the coined term "dressing for success".
Even if you look in the past, things like dowry, or even in chinese culture, we have our own customs of trading an animal for a daughter. Although we may say that its just a gesture of thanks, but I'm not surprised if its previously some sort of barter trade for human life.
Although it sounds extremely cruel, but humans have a value. Hence we are investing in an education to increase our value, education, skills and knowledge ups our value. You can look at the world monetarily albeit it does feel a bit cynical to take that kind of perspective on life.
There is 2 perspectives every person have. How they value others, and how they value themselves.
People who value themselves always up their value, their self-worth. Like people who don't value themselves,do not take care of themselves and give themself away cheaply. It is the same way as someone desperate for food, they will scavange dustbins just to be filled. In some way there is a correlation of self-worth and love, akin to money, although we all know you can't buy love.
I like something Sarah quoted to me before "There are no ugly people, just people who act ugly". I think that word actually goes deeper than just the way they act in front of people, but their core values and principles, because deep inside they are not intrinsicly worth much. No doubt there are people who put on masks, but who you realy are inside would eventually be reflected on the outside.
People who value themselves and are truly worth much, they act maturely, beautifully, they take good care of themselves subjectively (hee hee), and out of an abundance of heart, they seek not only their own welfare but the welfare of others. Someone who is rich can give and help. Someone who is rich in heart is able to love others wholeheartedly.
-----
So how much do you value yourself? I used to have this massive struggle being able to come to reconciliation with myself. Knowing that I am not that valuable. I am not smart, I'm not strong, I'm not great, I'm a nobody. I'm not that handsome, I'm not from a rich family, I'm nothing much. The more I evaluate myself it feels like a spiral downwards into depression.
How much do I value myself? I have been bought with a price. Like I've said just now, that each and every person has actually a monetary value. I have been bought with a price. I have been bartered, just like a dowry, the men buys his wife. What is my cost? I am priceless. My value has just increased infinitely.
The cost is Jesus Christ. 2000 years ago Jesus hung on the cross for me. In his death, he has bought me, a strategic move to shift me buy me out of the Kingdom of Darkness. He has given me a new name, and a friend.
I am no more valued by the world, I have a different worth. Although I may not be worth much to this world yet, but I already have an internal worth, that would be expressed out in the external.
God values me even when I might not value myself, but if only I have a glimpse of how much God values me, I would be worth much. I am now so valuable I am overabundantly rich. Rich people value themselves, and they encourage others to see beyond their eyes as how God see's them.
The beauty of it all, is that God didn't just save me and say "I'm valuable" then leave me to fend for myself. Like the bride, he has also given to us a personal trainer. Someone to teach the bride how to act, dress and live life as a Princess or Queen would.
We have our trainer. His name is Holy Spirit. When we are saved, God see's us so absolutely valuable that he has given us his Holy Spirit. And he is teaching us how to conduct ourselves, how to live a life of Victory, he is the helper to our every need, body, soul and spirit. He will not leave us, neither will he forsake us. I can do anything in Him who strengthens me.
I am valuable, I am worth so much. And I value you, because you have been paid by the precious blood of Jesus. Now that you have accepted him, won't you see yourselves through his Eyes?
O valued Son and Daughter of Christ, "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. (Isaiah 60:1)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
