Beholding Your Loveliness

Friendly Friend of the Common Man

2010-09-09T01:49:00.006+10:00

This had been on my mind for a while, is it a curse,burden or a blessing?

I don't know why, in my life, it seems to be quite apparent and true to some extent. That I have a tendency to associate better with the common man, the person on the street, the nobody. Rather than the elite, the prominent, the people who are viewed famous or important. This is also evident just in the observations of my friends, characters I hang out with in all settings, from church, work and just outside.

For some reason I'm not that comfortable with people who are comfortable. It maybe some issue in my life I need to be deal with, although mentally I know how to act proper. But my heart does bleed for the unnoticed, the unloved. They are seemingly more real than others.

Reminding myself of what Ian McManus once experienced. He was invited to a conference, where some of the top managers and leaders were asked to speak. Most people attended the meeting so that they can hear the CEO of Ford (or was it GM?) speak at that meeting. Ian was also invited to speak, and it was on building successful businesses through good leadership. Ian felt a bit out of place especially being a Pastor, but he decided to do it anyway.

The CEO spoke about three types of people.. A-type, B-type and C-type. A-type's are the brilliant, the sort of people your company needs to move it forward and will bring big business. B-Type are people who your company needs, their not brilliant, but we all need people to sweep the floors and do the toilets. C-Type are people you need to get rid off because they will pull the company down. Then he talked about the qualities of each and how to look out for them.

Ian McManus halfway during the CEO's speech felt like changing his speech, but really felt it was the Holy Spirit asking him to say what he had written down previously before. He stood up and talked about the underdog, and raising up the champion in all of us. Which is contrary to the CEO's speech.

He talked about the A-type. Yes, the people who has always been great in life, the talents. But the thing is that a great leader is one who gathers the C-type people, teach them, disciple them, and believe in them. He gave an illustration of a basketball game, where he trained up a bunch of kids who nobody thought they could do any better,the kids whom were always picked last. But he spent time with them, training them, and instilling belief again in them, and one day they finally took up the challenge and went against an A-Team. They still lost, but the margin was by 3 points instead of a expected disastrous defeat.

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We love the underdog spirit. The person who everybody gave up on, the person who had no future, the person whom everybody despised and laughed at. And by the determination of the will, or by encouragement of a friend who stepped beyond himself, caused the underdog to rise up and proved the world wrong.

We all love it, however how rarely when we are put in the position or someone we know is in that position, do we rise up to the challenge and be it?

One great person I love is Jesus. Jesus took for himself a rag-tag 12, from fishermen of Galilee to the thuggish tax-collector. Jesus's dirty dozen. Indeed one fell, but the other eleven went on to live and die for a cause way beyond themselves and till this day, the same fire that burned in their hearts burn in ours today.

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There was a man, who kill people. He was a murderer. A zealot, he believed in what he was doing was a righteous act. A man most feared and despised. His name was Saul. But when God touched him, he came to know Jesus as his Lord and saviour.

But even when he joined the communion of the saints, most didn't want to associate with him, how can you sit on the same table as the man who murdered your husband/wife/daughter/son?

And yet, Barnabas took up the role. To believe in Him. Barnabas was not his real name, but he was called Barnabas, which meant "Son of Encouragement". His whole personality radiated with encouragement and belief in people whom people has given up on.

And Saul went on to became Paul and wrote 2/3rds of the new testament. The mighty men of God whom did great and marvelous acts. The one who cried "But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God" (Phillipians 2:17), a man who lived and died for a cause.

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The world like the prominents, the talented, the gifted. But the Lord doesn't look at the outward appearance but at the heart.

I need to look at even my own life with God's eyes. Especially when I put my life in perspective of many of my friends. For me to be doing security, when some of my friends are investment bankers, engineers and people of high positions. I feel like a fool at times. The years seem to go by, I feel like I've lived life harder than most, but still have not achieve more than most. Why is it that I have to climb 10 tree's to get a coconut when they only need to climb one? Why are the opportunities shut for me, but opened for them freely. It's as if, there is injustice in my world according to my eyes. But not according to God's eyes.

Can I believe that God is speaking to me? Encouraging me? Saying "I have not forgotten you John". That I am an underdog as well? We all love the dream of high-flyers, graduating with honours, coming out in big-named firms, big-checks and rising above and beyond their peers. We want to be them. But I am not them.

Like an eagle amongst the chickens, the Lord is saying to take a flight with Him, being different, going different paths, finding my own. Not living the life others live or going the way they go. But to find Him and His purpose in my life.

I feel at many times I am at crossroads, I feel like going back home, grass seems greener on the other side, people tell me I'm a fool, I don't know. Life seems so uncertain. But, I have only one certainty in life. Is that Holy Spirit.. you are with me. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

The Foolishness of the Gospel preached

2010-04-23T12:25:00.004+10:00

1 Corinthians 1:18-23.

18 The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of God. 19 As the Scriptures say,
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise
and discard the intelligence of the intelligent.”[a]

20 So where does this leave the philosophers, the scholars, and the world’s brilliant debaters? God has made the wisdom of this world look foolish. 21 Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never know him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save those who believe. 22 It is foolish to the Jews, who ask for signs from heaven. And it is foolish to the Greeks, who seek human wisdom. 23 So when we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended and the Gentiles say it’s all nonsense.

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Have you ever wondered about the Gospel message? Just think about it, from a critical, humanistic and rational point of view. Break it down into a single sentence, and say it.

"I believe in a man, born 2000 years ago claiming to be the Son of God, who walked on this earth, died on a cross, shed his blood, and rose again 3 days later and those who believe in Him as your Lord and Saviour will have everlasting life”.

Now, how logical does that sound? The truth is, we believe in a foolish gospel. Paul even says it, foolishness to the greeks, who seek human wisdom. Gentile’s says “It’s all nonsense”. From even my own rational mind, I would think it’s also nonsense.

But the bible says, verse 24 – Christ is the power of God, and the Wisdom of God. This foolish plan of God is Wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strengths.

The last couple of weeks/months i've been talking to a colleague of mine who's an atheist. I personally have no problems about people having their own beliefs, but if there is a bible-pusher, theres also an atheist pusher. And he's one of those, I usually spend most of my time arguing with him, and the problem is that deep down he has no answers, and therefore the easiest answer is to blame God.

He may complain about the moral breakdown of the church, or even the divinity of Christ, but one thing that I had have him cornered is the person of Jesus. But regardless of how much he argues with me, I try and keep it simple, because at the end of the day, I've come to realization that it is the power of the Holy Spirit that convicts people to the power and revelation of Jesus Christ.

But nevertheless, during those times, it had got me thinking about the "Foolishness of the Gospel" in that Paul talks about.

I went back and thought about it, and asked God, how come are Gospel is so hidden? It makes no sense at the same time it does as well. And I felt God answered me, do you know what else is foolish aside from the Gospel? Love.

I wish I can give you a definition of love, but I can’t. Love is more than just an emotion, it’s also a choice and sacrifice. It’s something that we need to survive and cannot live without, but at the same time we understand it so little. We know we need it, and yet we don’t understand it.

The problem about guys is that we think more with our heads than our hearts. The thing about us guys, is that we always want to understand it before we can identify it and allow it to change us. And thats why I believe we are slower at times. But God has created us that way for a reason.

I think that’s also partly why we guys tend to disengage with our emotions because we don’t understand and eventually it affects our capacity to love. We live in a society where people are getting smarter but the divorce rates are getting higher. We’ve even learned not to fool others but also ourselves. Like how I was hearing Pastor TD Jakes saying about a women he had to council “Oh Pastor, I don’t understand, last week, he gave me flowers for our anniversary and made love but this week he wants a divorce”. We can have sex and not be connected, we can hang out with friends our entire lives and never truly know them.

Men can do the most cruel evil things, we can dehumanize people, turn apathetic to the cries of humanity. All in the name of logic. Think about Eugenics, the Spartans used to kill their weak and dying babies to create a society of warriors. The Nazi's did the same thing so that they're species can be strengthen. Even Evolutionism teaches about survival of the species. Love takes a back seat and becomes a chemical balance in our brains.

And yet, love is not logical. There is an element of faith in the impossible. Parents who would do anything to help their disfigured child, giving him the best quality of life possible. People willing to take care of the elderly, despite them not having really much hope or aspiration to achieve much more in life. We treasure things that isn't logical but we know its right, because we care.

Strangely today I was also reading an article on LiveScience on “Why women stay in abusive relationships”. How can women keep on staying on, the highest reasons is “Dependency and affection”. Somehow women can see some inch of light in his character. “Oh but he loves me, he’s so caring when he’s not angry or drunk”. How can you keep on in a relationship when he beats you?

This statement… “I believe I can change Him, or I believe He can change”. You know what that statement speaks off? Love and hope… faith. But faith without Jesus is empty, for it lacks the life-changing power of Jesus.

So love, it's foolishness...

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Then it Hit me... Yes.. Gobsmack in the face.

This is what the Bible says Love is:

1 John 4:10 – And THIS IS REAL LOVE – not that we love God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

Do you know why the gospel seemingly irrational? Seemingly illogical? A foolish Gospel?

The Gospel is foolish. Why? Because GOD BECAME A FOOL FOR ME.

God took on the mortal coil of man, powerless and weak, and he took the place of the lost soul wandering around in the dark doing as his hearts desires headed for destruction, THE TRUE FOOL, Me.

How foolish is it to die for someone, knowing that they might never understand, they might never feel, they might never know how much you love them, and reject it, never to reciprocate to that love that He shed his very life for.

The Foolishness of the Gospel. Jesus became a fool for me. Because He willingly became a fool for Love.

"I believe in a man, born 2000 years ago claiming to be the Son of God, who walked on this earth, died on a cross, shed his blood, and rose again 3 days later and those who believe in Him as your Lord and Saviour will have everlasting life”.

Yes, He died for me. But the wisdom of God is higher than the wisdom of man.

JESUS ROSE AGAIN! Yes I Love Him, his name is Jesus, and I LOVE HIM!

1 John 15:12-13

12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

He became a fool for me, can I become a fool for Him?

2010 and beyond

2010-01-05T21:18:00.006+11:00

I've been spending a little time just reflecting on 2009. To be honest, was feeling depressed about it at first, but what really got me up again was reading Keith Craft's blog. - http://keithcraftblog.com/

At most times, our perspective is really myopic. For some strange reason, we are more likely to remember the pains than the joys. 2009 has been an intriguing year.

It's been a year of more pain than I can ever remember, pain, loneliness and just sadness and darkness. It could be starting work really early, and ending the day really late. It felt like a long dark year, with a very dark and cold winter waking up at 4 or 5am's below 0 degrees, probably it felt elongated as I had a very bad second half of 2008 struggling with poverty, then 2009 It got better however there were very strong highlights of pain rather than joy, from fighting depression and the stone in my bladder.

It had been a year of disappointment followed by just times of lack of vision, I felt at times I was just going through the motions, living each day for the next paycheck, and not too sure what I even did with my money in all honesty.

Encouragement was hard to come by, and just felt like I wanted to sleep it all away.

There is a good tiredness, tiredness from a effecient and productive day. Then there is the fatigue from the lack of vision, where the reality of life is the tragedy that you have come to nothing, you just want it all to go away.

Being angry doesn't help, and struggle all you want, the waves are just too high, the current too strong, I felt like I was drowning.

Nevertheless, God wasn't far, it had been a season of being set apart. The life lessons on 2009 had been tremendous, especially a challenge to the things I once held to the core. Who I really am. I despise being a public success but a private failure. That I say "yeah I'm doing well", but in truth I'm hurting on the inside. The imploding feeling, that I just want to be away from anyone that when I do come to the end of self, I won't hurt you.

I am sick of the pretending and the masks.

I'm not saying you should wear a depressed look everywhere you go, but there is a power found in Jesus. Found in the secret place of spending time with the lover of my soul. The honest cry of the heart that I need You, as I cannot keep on living life as the way it is. Life is meant to be taken by faith, it is impossible to rationalize the plans and purpose, and just be faithful with what we have in our hands. The peace of God which lies inside, in the moments of just worship and pausing to hear the sweet small voice.

I had a vision, despite all the darkness that surrounded my heart, deep inside, I felt my heart was covered in darkness, just the anxiety and fear, but deeper still, was a throne, and Jesus sat on it, and He wasn't moved. That though the world, the devil, whoever try and sift me, God is there for me always, though I may be dangling before the abyss, He has me in his arms, He will protect my heart, protect my mind, and He is there for me always.

In dark nights of the soul, is where God can tear down the masks, and unveil the vulnerabilities, the holes. Yes, there is the warm love, the comforter Holy Spirit who passes by in the night and in the quiet time of the mornings. But I've learned that it is not good for man to live alone. Towards the end of 2009 it is also a year God has asked me to reinvest again into relationships.

Blessed are you who has friends who still believes in you even once you stop believing in yourself. Someone where you can be open and just be real. It doesn't mean you have to all the time moan about your problems, but someone who really cares about you, a friend that see's through your masks and won't stop being a pain till he gets down to the truth of the matter ,someone willing to not just be there by your side, but someone who can slap you silly and drag you by the toes out of the mire of self-pity and self-loathing, then set you again high with the encouragement, promises and prophecies.

It's not found only in one person, but I want a collective of small group of friends, who has the same pursuit and passions in life, living life together in Christ. Men and Women of God seeking Real Fellowship. In all honesty, I am still on that journey of finding them. But these kinds of fellowship doesn't start overnight, but through a life-long process, and I have to start somewhere.

Somehow 2009 was a year I opened up myself to pain. Not only mine, but of others. Somehow bumping into many many lonely and hurting people. At the end of this year, I feel the incredible necessity of having the Lord Jesus being Lord in my life. It is only in us being blessed are we able to bless others.

The world is hurting and dying, and we need the Kingdom Power of King Jesus manifesting here on earth through our lives, God can choose to use his angels, but He has given us His Children the specific job, and He has also imparted to us the Holy Spirit, the same power that raised Christ from the dead resides in you and me.

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2009. I felt although it was a regretfully painful year. It was a year of tremendous growth, especially in my conduct and work ethic. More so, my integrity and character.

At the last church service, I was regretting the choices in this year. But I felt God was putting his hand on my shoulder and saying, that this year was the sweat and tears of a foundation of bigger things to be built on. The Foundation of a building has to be the strongest part of the building, and at times it involves being piled, speared by a giant metal rod for the sake of ensuring a deep foundation, to dig in deep to clean out the issues of the heart yet to be settled, to dig out the stones embedded into the heart.

2010, A lot of Pastors are proclaiming this is a year of double return and great favour. Even those that don't prophecy about these things are shouting from the rooftops and going out on a limb about this. I know our eyes are not meant to be on the year, but God does work in seasons.

I don't want to miss it. Not again. Lord, help me, let me be there to catch the wave, I want to be propelled into the destiny in which you have set before me, and I have to be ready. With You I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It's going to be an interesting year.

Get ready get ready get ready get ready.

Jesus Christ is perfect theology

2009-09-14T18:56:00.003+10:00

"Jesus Christ is perfect Theology." - Bill Johnson

This statement by Bill Johnson has been going off and off and off in my head again and again recently. It's a very intriguing thought with deep revelation and powerful repercussions in how we view life.

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JOhn 1:17-18 - 17For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only, who is at the Father's side, has made him known.

JOhn 6:46 - Not that anyone has ever seen the Father; only I, who was sent from God, have seen him

John 14:6-7 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. 7 If you had really known me, you would know who my Father is. From now on, you do know him and have seen him!”
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"Jesus Christ is perfect theology. He is the answer to every question".

Everything that happens in our life, no matter the circumstance, if it doesn't line up with who Jesus is and what Jesus done, it's an imperfect answer to a bigger picture and purpose.

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This thought has been going around in my head again. I guess probably its because I'm currently going through a stage of changing perceptions, and there are moments in our life where we need to perceive or see things as God see's things.

It's really hard to actually understand what God see's. Because He doesn't just think different than what you think, he is vastly very very different. I mean, just think about this thought "What does Jesus see and think about issues?".

Sometimes we feel that Jesus is like a machine, whatever God says, he says, whatever God does he does, but actually the bible says that he went through all temptations, trials and tribulations. He felt everything we feel, and he knows what we go through, and yet he overcame it all.

Jesus is and was a living breathing person like you and I, who think, breath and do everything the same we do, even go to the toilet. Jesus is the perfect example, he is the prototype of every Christian living on this earth in perfect relationship with God the father. He is what we are to be. He lived in perfect submission not as in control, but in submission, in a love submission of Father and Son.

Now, we are to live like Jesus lived. And I personally have a very difficult time phantoming what that means. Because it meant living in a realm where "Nothing is impossible in God". When Jesus looked at the 5 loaves and 2 fishes, he thought "This could feed the thousands.", can we look at the piece of bread on our table and think "This would end world hunger?".
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Jesus is perfect theology. The issue about the old testament, is that God can be very wrongly perceived. One of the statements that my urban life member said "The God of the old testament is very scary". And yes, He is. Because He is great and mighty, greatly to be respected (feared). Because He is perfect, He is Holy.

And I think thats where the problem lies, in that the old testament laws were meant to display God's holiness and perfection. If you had a kid who rebelled, take him out and stone him to death.

But is God like that? Is He is person someone who wants you to stone your kid?

I think where thats the reason why Moses never entered the Holy Land when he hit the rock. God said "You did not represent me well". The character of God the father was tainted as a angry judicial distant God seeking to punish his children for their wrongdoings.

And I believe with all my heart, that is why Jesus was sent. To re-write the wrongs and put the perspective of God the father and who He is in person back into our hearts.

John 3:16 - For God SO LOVED...

How often do we talk about the Love of God? How often do we talk about the Love Jesus had? Jesus is the perfect representation of God the father. He is perfect theology. He loved the people, he came to cleanse the sick, cast out demons, he restored people and preached about the realities of the Kingdom of God, heaven here on earth.

Hence, we are to live a life in perspective of Jesus, with God's eyes on our life. If you have a sick child, our perspective is to believe "If Jesus is here today, He would be made whole, and Jesus is here today". The Spirit of the Living God, the one who raised Jesus Christ from the dead, the same Spirit that brooded over the oceans at the creation of this world is in everyone of us who believe. That things around us may be not going as they seem, but in the backdrop if we pray, God is setting you up for a victory, one so unassuming that it has to be only God, and thats what you call a miracle and not possible by our own strength.

Luke 4:18 - 19 (Amplified) The Spirit of the Lord [is] upon Me, because He has anointed Me [the Anointed One, the Messiah] to preach the good news (the Gospel) to the poor; He has sent Me to announce release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to send forth as delivered those who are oppressed [who are downtrodden, bruised, crushed, and broken down by calamity],19To proclaim the accepted and acceptable year of the Lord [the day [l]when salvation and the free favors of God profusely abound.(G)

Possessed by a dream

2009-09-08T22:10:00.003+10:00

I had a friend today got a job, she got a great job in Singapore, to be honest, I'm really happy for her, but at the same time, just an inkling of sadness and/or jealousy as well. I guess to some extent, it's a bit harder to rejoice for someone else when your not in a entirely comfortable position yourself. But the bible does say, rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn. The mature thing to do is to rejoice, and seek God for the breakthrough in your own life.

The moment I heard that happen, I felt in my own life, like the voices coming, questioning my current position in life, my choices and the path in which I've taken. It tends to come from time to time, and to be honest, it gets hard at times to keep your head up and continue continuing on.

I feel that is why, it's very important to always honour the words spoken into your life and continually listen to fresh revelation, or Rhema.

The last few years has been very interesting years, especially ever since coming to Melbourne and Planetshakers. God has been moulding my thoughts and desires, and my concepts and perceptions of the world.

Like I still believe the dream and the prophetic words of my youth, but also having to seek out God for how to get there. Too many times, we just praise God, but then go our own way, when God is wanting us to go His way. We believe in the end result, but we take our own path how to go there.

To be honest, I always question the road sometimes God is leading me. And I guess the hand of God tends to be always hindsight, therefore we live by faith and not by sight.

For example, I remember a very strong calling from God in 2007 to remain in Melbourne. And throughout 2008, when I was so poor, eating sandwhiches day in day out for so many months, just having to encourage myself was tough. I remembered many nights just felt like crying, but then re-reading again the bible verses that he had highlighted in my heart. Especially from the book of Jeremiah and Chronicles.

I really thank God for his presence though. There are moments where its all muddy and just I feel lost, but when I get into his presence, and faith fills the atmosphere, I feel as if the line of sight is clear again. I think thats why I really thank God for worship and praise. Especially in the dark nighs in my bedroom, just with the worship blasting through my headphones, and just standing there with my hands raised.

2009 has been better, though still at times I feel not there yet. And there are times I feel God is taking me around the mountain and not up and through the mountain. That the path he has set before me, is a quicker one, a short-cut, however it will be the path less taken, and I have to be strong and very couragous. Sometimes even foolhardy. If it takes me 10 years to get to my destiny and not 20, heck, I told myself I'll mop floors, scrub kitchens if it takes me, and ha ha, after Nando's, I do feel like I had a fair time doing those things. It may seem foolish to the eyes of the world, and even to myself.

Hence I feel like I always need to be connected to God, as tightly as possible, it's all about relationship, just like how Abraham brought Isaac up the mountain to sacrifice Him. Alot of times I know God is interested more in my heart and attitude, it doesn't take much for Him to just put me at the right place at the right time to be successful..

Like Joseph and his 4 P's. The Pit, Potiphar, Prison and Palace. God can move Joseph straight to the Palace, but I believe that there is a place and time for everything. What I believe is that Joseph learned to lean in to God wherever he was placed, and continued believing in the dreams of his Youth. He thought he would have been the ruler over his little family of 11, little did he know that God was setting him up for much bigger things, to be the Prime Minister of the most powerful nation of the time.

But I liked what one Pastor said, "When God blesses a man, does he gain a champion or loses one?". When I go into my security firm, at times that I'm so much more capable than this, but then just have to keep on reminding myself and seeing the good in everything that I do, like negotiating and just talking to people that I come across, believing that God is continually shaping my character to fit into the calling that he has in store for me. But God has really poured out his favour on me in both my jobs. And especially the security company has reached new heights, especially in terms of businesses and our clients tend to be very happy about our work.

So, yeah, just have to continue holding on to the promise, and just be faithful with whatever little I have in my hand. Like the story of the talents, I feel in the past I might have squandered it, God's Grace is continually over my life, so start afresh, forget the past and multiply it. I'm really believing in the more not only just next year, but also in the next coming weeks and months. What could is possibly be? I don't know, but I do believe it will be good and better than ever before.

Investing in People (bit of a rant)

2009-01-08T00:43:00.003+11:00

Just had been hearing a sermon by Erwin McManus about investing in people and was just amazed by the level of understanding and depth of wisdom concerning the topic.

Just looking back at my life, and thinking about some of the people I have invested in. My time, effort, just being there for them, driving out late into the night just to have a chat with them. Some with multiple returns and some with nothing whatsoever. It can be quite disheartening, but the people who do bring back fruits, it's really worth it.

I think thats the drive of pastoral care. That a person matures both spiritually and in his personality. The dream is to always help people find and pursue their destiny in Christ, finding their place in this world and with people of same likeness and mind. Hence, I love the Planetshaker Call "To Empower a Generation to win a generation".

I think the problem recently I've been having is not seeing people come to fruition. But these sort of things take time and prayer. Lots of prayer. Which I haven't been doing. Hehe. But even so, just have to keep on planting the seeds, and let God bring the rain.

The thing is sometimes I don't know whether the seeds that I am planting are even good. Like the bible says, wheat and the weeds. Words are powerful, and what kind of plant are you planting? I know God has given me some level of authority and charisma, in both my speech and my personality. The question is learning to be faithful, and living in integrity using the tools that God has given you.

And life, well, it is also a growing process for me. Things which I thought was right, I think maybe perhaps otherwise now. But yeah life is interesting. And I find the interesting part is that I grow a lot by mentoring people. Just wish I know more being able to impact people in a positive and better manner. Have to pray more for the keys to move hearts and minds.

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I think aside from that, I also need to learn to invest in myself. Which I am really bad in. And like Erwin McManus says, hanging out more with friends who refresh me. I haven't really had that type of friends for a while, I think I might just be hanging out with the wrong company or not anyone at all at the moment.

A Eulogy of 2008

2009-01-01T12:39:00.002+11:00

Recently I've been questioning a bit about my mortality and legacy. Sounds a bit morbid, but just taking a moment of reflection, especially after I had a friend who had a bit of a cancer scare that reminded me of relatives and friends who are fighting the fight for their lives just made me put things back into a bigger picture of life in totality.

Yesterday I took a bit of time to think of several pointers to write a eulogy. Just questioning myself, how would I be remembered?

*Would I be remembered fondly? Or perhaps hated?
*Had people perceived me as happy, an encourager and a great companion to have around? Or moody and drains the life of everyone around them?
*Was I a friend to not only the loved but the unloved? The ugly, the disdained, the weird.
*Was I a giver? Or a Taker? Generous or selfish in both my emotions, finances, and even my friendship?
*How about Integrity? Do people believe in what I say? Had I lived up to my words? Do I keep my promises? Do I keep your secrets?
*Was I passionate in the way I lived my life taking risks and living a life of faith to achieve new heights? Or a coward and never amount to anything?
*Was I a dream-maker? Was I a source of encouragement? Did I even matter? Did I just lived to suck up all the life of everyone around me including resources from my parents and friends? Have I lived made a change in your life that you have lived for the better because of me?
*Did you ever see Jesus in Me?

You know what.. having a thought about this made me realise about insecurities, that it doesn't matter whether you were handsome, beautiful, hot, sexy, intelligent, rich.. or maybe even funny.

But it's not those things that you were, but what you did that left an impacting legacy of the man or woman you were. The imprint you left behind while you were on this world.

I don't have children yet, but I believe there is an inherent desire in all of us to live for a change, or live for something bigger than all of us, that if we don't succeed and finish the race, there will be others who will take the baton and run off where we left off. For Christians it would be the great commission.

Yeah, but just thinking of it, not before you die, but now, as you live. It challenges me to want to be different, to live my life differently. Like Jesus says, "Love Others". Where has the Love went? We Christ was the author of the Love Revolution. Why has the Hippies taken it over? And since when did the church resort back to Religion? I want to die, not with no regrets, but with a knowing that I lived a life of Love.

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I believe Time is a blessing given by God. He created the days, the months,seasons and years. A year of jubilee, a year of new beginnings, a season of blessing and restoration.

Ecclesiastes 3;

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

As we come to a close of 2008, I've just been reflecting, not that I'm dying, but 2008 is. Because it cannot be relived again.

To be honest, I never really cared about new years until recently. Zooming out of my life and seeing it from above with a macro view, I want to see how far I've come, where I'm going and reviewing the how to to get there. Mistakes are never fatal, Regrets are never helpful, But Mistakes are a teacher, and regrets are meant to propel you to make a change.

Just reflecting on 2008. Yes, I have made a lot of mistakes. But that's what a new year is for. To pick up yourself from the ashes and run the race anew leaving behind the dissapointments, the frustrations, the mistakes, the sadness, the pain, the stupid choices in life. It is a time for refreshment, a time for reconciliation, a time for forgiveness, a time for a change in perspective.

Hebrews 12: 1 - And let us run with endurance the race God has set before 12.

12 - So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees.

13 Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.

Have a Happy New Year peeps. I'll See you all on the other side~!

Self Abandonement & Christ

2008-12-13T22:51:00.013+11:00

Self Abandonment, self denial.

It seems to me that every religion has some form of self-denial. A denial of your desires, a denial of your personality, a denial of material wealth. Some form of self-denial. There honestly aren't too many that promotes carnality and hedonism. But a good question is how far does self-denial go? And how should it be properly integrated into the Christian life?

I mean, I struggle with it, I fight with it, I rationalize with it, I object to it.

Bill Johnson says that every religion has a a form of self-denial. But the difference is ours have a resurrection. The scary thought is always following a person, a man proclaiming to be God to the ends of the earth and at the end of time realising that He is not who he claims to be. Self-Denial in its wake is a very scary thought.

I find self-denial in totality seems demented. God created us, as an individual, with our own personality, our own soul. We look different from each other, we act different, we are different.

Absolute self-denial is to assume we are robots or Golems. A de-humanization of who we are and be a slave. We are a number and not a person. Total rejection of our hopes and dreams, personality and what that defines who I am compared to who you are.

God created me different, I believe he loves variety. There is no one single person who is the same as me. Self-denial to me, therefore cannot be truth. How can Self-Denial assume freedom, but at the same time it is bondage because it demands total subjugated to the will of another? This question seems to go to the very root meaning of freedom and the expression of our individuality.

Yes, there are verses like Matthew 10:38 which talks about taking up our cross. And other verses to say "Follow Me" and even follow Jesus to the ends of the earth. But is that self-denial? What sort of relationship is the correct view in which we have to assume with Christ as our Lord and saviour?

Colossions Chapter 2 & 3
Ephesians Chapter 5

I don't think the Christian life is a life of self-denial. Jon Ngan, pointed out to me, that the Christian life is however a denial of the sinful nature and "The old man". But not a denial of self. Like in Colossions 2:23, pious self-denial has no power to conquer over sin. The problem is that religion tries to take a hold on our mind because that is only what we have always been thought to understand. That the Christian life is a denial of our sinful nature, therefore we put boundaries of regulations to keep the "Old Men" In jail. However that is not the power of Grace working out in our life.

What has then? What is the Christian life?

Walking in the Spirit. I am who I am, yet Christ is in Me, Changing me day to day to be more like Him. Will I eventually be Christ? No. You are still you. But you are to be more like Him.

I don't believe in self-denial. I believe in the relationship with Holy Spirit.

The thing is, we do not understand the implication of the relationship with Holy Spirit and of spiritual things. I believe that is why God gave the model of Marriage. Even then, we still mess it up. When God created Adam & then the Women. God never named the women Eve. God called them both Adam. They are both one person. One Flesh. Two different people with different desires, but God see's them both as one person. It was only after the fall, that Adam named the women Eve.

When we accept Christ, we become the Church, we are married to Christ. And at the same time we are given the Holy Spirit who lives in us. Most of us, do not recognize the implication and the spiritual definition of us. The bible says that the Holy Spirit is our inheritance? He will be with us forever.

Like if we take a wife. We are of one flesh. I am not only my own, and She/He is Mine. I belong to her and she belongs to me. Therefore the same with my spouse, my Life is not only my own, it is Holy Spirit's as well, and.... (here sounds a bit scary but its true) the Spirit of the almighty God, Holy Spirit is MINE. I am His and He is Mine.

Holy Spirit who dwells in me partakes in everything that I do. We are as if husband and wife joined in Spirit.

Hence the Christian life is NEVER a life of self-denial. It is a life of a relationship. When we are born-again, we are to crucify our old nature, our old desires, but also, we are to dream with Him. Like a husband and wife, when they get married, they dream together. No more thinking about the Lazy-Boy Couch, big screen and Playstation3 as being the centre of purchases and entertainment in the house. But honestly getting proper furniture to accommodate her and our future together. Both are each others, they plan their future together, the house, the kids, their destiny now is interlinked intertwined and they both with each other in hand pursue after it.

Do we do this together with Holy Spirit? I find some streams of pentacostalism, they treat God like a big judge, we come to him with our bible verses and demand prosperity, demand healing. Do we do that to our spouse? Honey! I demand you to do this for me. How do we talk to our life when we want something from her?

If we know that Holy Spirit is in Us, who can do "All things" as "nothing is possible", we don't demand, but rather we ask of each other? How is it there are great men and women of God who can do great signs, miracles and wonders. Like a husband and wife, they draw on each others strengths and desires, and release each others abilities to change the world. Shouldn't it be the same with Us? And the Holy Spirit?

I love Jesus because he is the perfect representation of what a Christian is. He has no sin, we who accept Christ now have no sin. Jesus can do nothing except what the Father says. Aren't we the same? Jesus is pure Human, and absolutely dependent on the Power of Holy Spirit to do great signs, miracles and wonders. Is our relationship dependent on Him as well?

Like in a marriage, Holy Spirit is the perfect gentleman. The perfect husband. But he also allows the wife to do as she pleases. Hence the bible says don't grieve him.

According to Ephesians,

Husbands Love your Wife.
Wife, Submit to your husbands.

We as the Wife, do we submit ourselves to Him? The Life of a Christian is not a life of self-denial. But it is a life of submission.

Submission is difficult to be honest. Just tell that to your wife. "Wife, submit to me". It is a command. But we don't have to look at it that way. Submission seems bad by itself, because there is an absence of communication and trust.

How can you submit to someone when you do not communicate with them and you do not trust them? Hence the importance of Prayer and Faith. To be honest, we don't pray enough. Jesus prays tons! He prays the whole night away, and prayer is simply communication with God. Do we pray enough? Do we talk to God? Do we tell Him about our desires, our dreams, our worries, our cares, or simply just talk to Him about our everyday goings in and out. Why do we talk so much to our spouse and friends and neglect the person who truly matters that can make a life-changing difference?

And then trust. Do we trust Him enough? That is the life of Faith. The way God works, is that he Is Perfect. His ways are perfect. But His Ways are not always known to us as his Logic is "Everything is Possible". We can't wrap our minds around that~! And even then, we don't understand what we ask for, and what He gives us.When we want a solution, he gives us a procedure! When we want instantaneous results, he cares more about the condition of our heart. We care so much more about the destination and when he is more interested in our journey. Jesus, God the Father and Holy Spirit is PERFECT. We are not. But we are to pray, we are to have Faith an We are to Submit.

If not. We just get stuck around the mountain. Just going round and round and round.

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Something a bit more practical to take back;

How do I know when it is God or when it is crazy thoughts in my head? I don't know. But Read your Bible, bring it to God in prayer and ask for a sign. Most people seem to do that in the bible. Lol. Then, Take risks, if its wrong, go back and talk to Him again. And You'll grow and become more like Christ. People assume when they get married, they'll go hand in hand and understand each other instantaneously. Like our girlfriend or boyfriend or even wife or husband. The longer we know them and be with them, their personality becomes part of ours. We are not ourselves anymore. We become more like Christ.

The Life of Christ is not self-denial or self abandonment. But it is a loving relationship. One that we continue to grow in, and we become more like Him. It is no more just "I" it is "Us" now.

Blessing or Offense?

2008-11-10T17:36:00.011+11:00

John 6:53 - 69.

In this passage, Jesus was telling his disciples, that unless they drank his blood and ate his flesh, they will live forever. And he never bothered to explain.

John 6:61 Jesus was aware that his disciples were complaining, so he said to them, “Does this offend you?"

66 At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. 67 Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?” 68 Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.

I haven't read "Bait of Satan" by John Bevere. But I heard it speaks all about offense, and living above offense. Bill Johnson talks about it very frequently, saying that the Christian life will be a life full of offense, but there is one foundational structure in our life. Is that "God is Good" and we may know his ways, his methods of doing things, but it is for us to be above offense and believe in Him.

I was talking to my sister this morning. She was telling me, that she has met a third Christian who came from New Creation Church, who came to Melbourne, and can't seem to find a "good" church. And they would prefer to stay at home rather and listen to sermons from Pastor Joseph Prince rather than coming to church.

Now, I am not against Pastor Joseph Prince. Honestly, I love him to the max. I believe he is such an amazing, extremely anointed man of God called with a special purpose and a immense revelation to preach the Grace of God. I have more than 6Gb's of his sermons, and I love listening to them. I agree with nearly everything he says, including the gospel of Grace. I have been a frequent listener for the last 4-5 years, had seen him a couple of times when he pops to Malaysia, and long for the chance to go to Singapore to drop by his church and just bask. :o)

But yeah, the interesting thing was, she has now met 3 people who has preferred to just sit at home. And to me, that is a very immature. Do I blame Pastor Joseph Prince? Nope. Knowing a couple of people from NCC, I believe these people are just a small sample of the population. Of people unable to live above offense, people who should be willing to step out and see the bigger glorious body of Christ. Even Joseph Prince has preached in his sermon "The Importance of Fellowship in the New Covenant" NOT TO FORSAKE the fellowship of the saints.

To be honest, Pastor Joseph Prince does spoil people. Spoil in a good way. Especially to be able to sit under such a powerful anointing and teaching. That it is hard to find anywhere else. I have to admit, that even most times the preaching in Planetshakers pale in comparison. I know many great friends who are from NCC. And they are on fire for God, they are evangelistic, they are great champion men and women of God. But they are those who are willing to step out of the comfort zone and stop being babies.

The thing that really got me all churned up about this matter started really when John Bevere popped by our church. He held a leadership conference in City-Life church. And so I went, knowing him by reputation. And have to admit, I was absolutely wrecked. He preached on the church, on issues of leadership, submission, discipline and even on Grace. What wrecked me, is how can someone somewhat feel like tip-toeing along the line of Grace and I would think he just be branded as a person who still worships the Law. But he is fundamentally sound in Grace, but not the quite there in terms of the revelation of Grace similar to Joseph Prince. I got back, went through John Bevere's stuff, his books, and just kept on going back to Joseph Prince back and forth towards each other.

I was so disturbed because how could both men, moving in such power in Christ, both displaying miracles acts of the Holy Spirit, and also giving praise to Christ. How could one seem so right and the other equally right when they seem to clash? Both equally powerful doctrinally in the book of Romans (The theological foundation of salvation). I even went down on my knees and asked God "Lord I do not want to be deceived, who is right?". They can seem utterly incongruent at times.

Who is right? I got my answer from God. Both are. During the moments, I felt like I had to mature, had to grow up. Not only change my thoughts in terms of theological stance, but to come to understand the immensity and sovereignty of God. That each have their own magnificent revelation revealed unto them. Bill Johnson in Toronto heard from God saying "Some of the greatest truths about the anointing is hidden in the most offensive stories in scripture". Randy Clarke was touched so powerfully when he stepped outside his theological camp, and went to the Word of Faith movement, which he has been so avoiding because of the misconceptions that he had. The word of Faith movement, in which Kenneth E Hagin is called the Father of Faith movement, which at that time was also wrought with so many levels of weirdness and error. Randy Clarke passed on the anointing and the Toronto Blessing was born.

Coming back to John Bevere and Joseph Prince. How could both be right? Both are. God would never allow one person on this earth to have a full measure of his revelation given unto him. He wants us as a church, as a body of Christ. Even Pastor Joseph Prince mentions, about the many parts of Christ, some are the hand, some are the nose, or some are the arm-pits which doesn't go too well along with the nose. God has specifically chose each and everyone of us and given us the different measure of revelation according to the destiny he has in store for us.

The growing sign of maturity as Bill Johnson says, is to eat the chicken but not the bones. There is a need to grow up. And to be honest, most of us honestly, the words we speak are fishbones with little meat. :p

No one here is theologically perfect. Why? Because we are not called to be theologically perfect but to do the works of Christ. Not works for our salvation. We don't earn Grace. But we work out of Grace. We work out of favour. We do not work to get favour, but favour is given to us to do above and beyond what we can humanly possible. The defining Pastor is one who mentors his sheep to always go back to the Bible and having a relationship with the Holy Spirit as their eventual guidance. Not only subscribing to the words of one Pastor. Even in the book of 1st Corinthians, the church squabbled over who was of Paul and Apolos. They did not have the bible yet, we do. But other churches learned to follow the Holy Spirit. Learned to discern the voice of God which is life.

John 6:68 Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life.

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People who seek to be theologically perfect without doing what it says will eventually be in error.

Matthew 7:26 - But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.

That is why we have so many theologians out there with no one in their church. They have boiled down the word of God into theological statements to beat each other up as to who is right, rather than as a guide together with the Holy Spirit to carry out the great commission. But on the flipside, I also know of powerful theologians like I believe Pastor Ben Fewster in Shakers church is our theological watchdog but he also used to ran the largest urban life in Adelaide at one time and eventually ran an entire community of urban life's.

I remember Pastor Ben Fewster preached recently, a simple message about the cross, and my gosh, I think we raked in the largest altar call in the whole year that week. When the Word is made flesh in our life. And not just arguing over Calvinism, Armenianism, the soveriegnty of God and other things just to make us sound smart. But really taking it into effect, that the Word of God is life, life to transform, to change, to heal, and to destroy the works of the devil.

1 Corinthians 2:4 And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. 5 I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God.

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When we are called to go outside our comfort zone. Its a sign to wake up. I think for the 3 people my sister mentioned who are in Australia, God has definitely called them to a different place. And the words required is not found overseas. But is found in the church that they are supposed to find and be well planted.

The word that Joseph Prince brings is true. It is true for his church, and the people worshipping in his church, and the very thing required for the moment where he is. Same with John Bevere, I believe he brought the exact words I needed here being in Planetshakers. Both are some of my favorite overseas preachers I have known. But at the same time, I listen to a lot of preachers all over the world, but the one in which I must subscribe to, is the word being preached here in Planetshakers, because it is life and in it is which I need to survive.

The Word of God is weighty. It is powerful. I reckon, those people need to pray, and follow the anointing. Ask the Holy Spirit to give the peace and the 'click' as to which church they would need to go to. Stick in it, and live above offense. John Bevere torn me inside out, but it was the word necessary for me to grow.

Living above offense is to live not selfishly, but to live maturely. Not only just spitting out the bones, but also having the bigger picture that we are all the same body of Christ. Churches of all forms, moves and theologies play each different roles in the harvest for the Kingdom of God. And we as individuals do sometimes get moved around to different parts, but to learn to submit under the anointing called by the Holy Spirit and live above offense is the doorway into greater blessings and maturity.

Quoting Bill Johnson who is Quoting Paul Cain,

"Be careful about offense, why? Because when you grow in the experience and revelation in the Lord, the tendency is to be more exacting and offended of other people when they don't mirror your values. We do good at momentum learning how God moves in a particular way, it is easy to spot those who don't function the same way. We have to be careful not to pick up a spirit of offense because we feel justified someone doesn't measure up to our theological standards. The Lord Requires us to maneouvre through minefields our entire life. Its why we have revelation from God and almost always have contradictory circumstances."

Who I am (Part 2) - The Insecurity

2008-11-08T23:24:00.002+11:00

I've been wanting to write about this for a while.

In the first part, I've previously mentioned about me being Insecure. I believe technically everybody is insecure. I guess my insecurity is kind of a different nature compared to most definition of insecurity.

Insecurity - 2. the quality or state of being insecure;

Yes, I am insecure, it's because I am not believing enough in a Big God.

There is so many things happening around me. I've partaken on a journey that is so highly risky, at times I feel its a fools dream. I don't know what spurred me on to continue here in Australia. And to be honest, it seems like more doors are closing on me the further I go in this journey. It is so incredibly distressing to know that the odds are going against me every passing week and month.

I have never grown as much as I had in this 2008. Both spiritually, mentally, and just my outlook on life. Needing to continually revisit the life lessons previously again and again, suffering with some level of depression every time I look out at the circumstance of life.

It's incredibly hard to take on the challenges ahead of me, and then at the same time, take a step a day at a time. I guess like most people, we always love our comforts. The stability that knowing tomorrow will just be another day like previously before. It makes me wonder what goes through the minds of people in starving areas of Africa. The worry and distressing thoughts continually plaguing their mind. It almost seem and probably is demonic in essence. Fear.

Its in these moments, Matthew 6:25-31 needs to be continually refreshed in my life. To not worry about life, nor tomorrow, but seek His Righteousness and His Kingdom dominion over my life.

One of the most blessed things I have in my life is my friends and family. How they are so incredibly supportive of me throughout the dark seasons. And I thank God continually for giving me them, as the prized possessions of my life. Brothers and sisters.

I just want to remember a few people. Firstly my sister. To sacrificially support me through thick and thin when things are just tight. My uncle, who has kept my hopes and dreams alive. Daniel boss, who has been my glimmer of hope, that God has purposed for me greater things in store. Weng Wah, for reminding me again to live the words that I preach again and again, who he thinks me as His Hero, but actually its more the other way around especially the hell he has endured and gotten this far. Then there is also Bernie, her childlike faith knowing that Papa God is always there for her and learning to Praise Him for the simple things.

Then there is Bill Johnson, the teachings and words being stored up in me before learning its application. I feel that I've never been so prepared for a moment in time like this. And Russell Evans, for the recharge and grace imparted from the pulpit.

Its moments like these, I am reminded again, that God is not too concerned about your comfort, but He is most concerned about Your Victory. There are times we need to take a stand against the storms. Sometimes we take a hitting, we fall down and bruise a elbow. But it would not go over us, it would not sweep us away. Victory is ours, and after it has passed, the glorious award awaits us.

Daddy God has allowed these things to be set into motion, because we are taking back authority and land like what TD Jakes says "You'll learn more from your enemies than from your friends".

Am I still insecure? Yes, every time I do not magnify Jesus but magnify the circumstance.

Who am I (Part 1)

2008-10-20T21:44:00.002+11:00

I am intrigued by the issue of personality. Stealing from wikipedia, "Personality can be defined as a dynamic and organized set of characteristics possessed by a person that uniquely influences his or her cognitions, motivations, and behaviors in various situations" (Ryckman, 2004). Simply put, I love people and how they react to a situation. One of the bad habits I've recently picked up is trying to understand why people act the way they act, think the way they think, and do the things they do. And even worse yet, is adopting it into my personality just to see if it fits me, but I'll go more into that later.

And I guess it goes to the root core that perhaps I was insecure in my own personality,I am seeking for a better way of life. Many of us take after the culture or the thoughts of our parents. If not our parents, perhaps our friends. A large proportion of who we are is by imitating others, but there is also a 'you'. Remembering a movie that I loved watching over and over again called "Dark City" which questions the issue of the soul, where aliens transferring memories into a small sample of humans to investigate whether we are truly blank slates, or are we actually our own person?

Yeah, going back to the point of seeking a better way of life. I think it comes from knowing that there is a better one than the one I am currently living. Not that I've been reading a lot of self-help books, but I do believe in the power of thoughts. That the thoughts we carry whether we know it or not, it does affect our personality. And the guiding thoughts are called principles. From principles, we make our decisions, whether our principles are misguided or flawed.

Even the bible exhorts this; Romans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the (pattern) of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

I believe that Jesus was a man of principles. The things he taught while he was living, the things he taught on living, are all principles. He lived by the Spirit, but even God has his personality that he never betrays who He is. Hence Jesus taught us how to pray, how to live your life. Hmm, I can go exogetically into it, but I need to sleep later. Haha.

Okay, not to sidetrack, the problem starts when I went on a personal journey of self-exploration sometime early 2008. An Inward examination of my principles, my guiding thoughts. Then I went outside, exploring others, comparing, trying to understand people and those that I find unique, I try and adopt it unto my own, see if it fits the puzzle of who I am and can I be better with it? Then from there, I started going into the bible, taking principles, comparing to my life and adopting them forcing myself to comply into behaviours and thoughts that are more in aligned with the word.

And you know what was the outcome? I felt lost, wondering who really is John? I became depressed, felt self-centred, insecure, and just incredibly uncomfortable with who I am. I felt like I was useless, and weak in my will. Someone not of any worth, and have no potential future. I felt unloved, and despised. I even felt struggling to keep sane, like my thoughts we unbalanced, something felt wrong with me all the time. Haha! I had became obsessed with my weakness, not ever going to live up to my own expectations and my own dreams. Forever to live a life mediocrity and never living. I felt like a worm.

To say with some sense of humour looking back at it, It was Definitely one of the most unique moments in my life. But you know what, I got set free by his word. Collosians chapter 3 found me.

Collosians 3: 1 Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand.2 Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. 3 For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.

What was I doing wrong the entire time? It's called Necrophilia. Making love with the dead. I started finding out the old man as in the book of Romans, Paul calls it the flesh, and romancing with him again. The problem about inward looking, is that you will definitely find something wrong with yourself. There is a thousand different things wrong with yourself. If there was nothing wrong, Jesus wouldn't need to die.

I had forgotten, that the old me has died, and I have been finding him out, chopping myself to bits when I have been raised to a new life with Christ. So.....Who is John? My real-life is hidden with Christ in God. I remembered someone quoted this, I think it's Pastor Russell Evans "You look inwards, you get depressed, you look outwards you get suppresed, you look upwards, you get refreshed".

Who is John? vs.4 "When Christ, Who is your life is revealed to the whole world (appear). You will share in all his glory". The thing is that I am so eager to find out who I really am, in order to fix myself. The problem is that, you CAN NEVER find out who you really are by finding for yourself.For you are HIDDEN with Christ, you live by the Spirit, not by fixing the flesh. Things with Christ have to be revealed by revelation, not found. You can only find out more about yourself when you find for Christ. By seeing him, we are being changed from glory to glory.

God changes us when we seek him, not when we seek ourselves and trying to fix ourselves. The Word of God is a double edged sword. One of the things I was doing which I feel isn't the smartest thing, is to take the word of God, boil it down to principles. Nothing wrong with that, but when I start mincing myself to bits with the sword, that is where I felt broken all in the inside. For the word is also life, and Daddy God is more interested in transformational change not just theological. He didn't die so that you changed your theology. He didn't die so that your principles are changed, he died for You for a relationship, I had been romancing with the wrong person, my flesh and not Christ.

If you feel that you are a no good dirty rotten fella, it's because you have not seen Christ. The lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, shall surely take away yours, and renew you, and lift you up from the miry clay.

And that practically saved me from a lot more months of feeling mental. :D Interesting isn't it?

2 Corinthians 10: 3 We are human, but we don’t wage war as humans do. 4We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. 5 We destroy every proud obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ. 6 And after you have become fully obedient, we will punish everyone who remains disobedient.

Yeah. Thoughts, thinking too much, the whole gamut of how It came to be, is interesting. I always felt that depression is getting trapped in your thoughts. Whether the thought might be worry, emotions that you can't get out, or even mine, the thought of seeking self-change so badly I went on a crusade of self and couldn't get out.

So thank God, he set me free. The thought that, my future is safe with Him despite the circumstances of life. Yeah, it finally gave me a peace of mind. :D

I Value You

2008-07-25T10:42:00.007+10:00

The thought of valuation has been in my mind these past couple of days. Well, lots of things have been in my mind, but the word "value" has been pretty strong coming again and again.

The word value means : relative worth, merit, or importance.

As a Finance student, a majority of our lessons is learning how to value stocks, shares, bonds etc. We have all sorts of financial models to attempt to price a security, purchase it and hope it makes returns. But I'm not too sure how to value everything else in real-life.

One thing I regret not doing while growing up was going shopping more often. Okay, shopping has its negatives but also its positives. To be honest, I've barely been shopping, you might even calculate the number of hours I spent shopping before I turned 21 in my life by the fingers I have on my hands. I could name a couple of reasons, but I think I was just simply too addicted to computer games that I couldn't care about the world.

Yeah, why is shopping good? I guess to me, it gives me the knowledge of valuing something. Haha, if you ask me now, who dresses me. I would give you my honest answer. My mom still dresses me. Although it might sound embarresing but it's the truth. As 95% of my wardrobe my mom bought for me. But I guess I'm slowly learning to buy my own clothes now, although difficult due to monetary limitations, but yeah, I'm slowly learning.

Hence I'm actually pretty much brand and clothes oblivious. I could walk into a girls clothes shop, look at a jacket, think its a guys jacket. Lol. I did that a couple of times, thankfully with Je-Yon, who went "John, do you know your in a girls shop?". I was like "of course i did", which I was lying. Lol. But yeah. I am unable to differentiate brands, clothes. I could be wearing girls clothes if my mom didn't dress me. Thank God for mothers~! I probably need to find a girlfriend who knows how to dress me!!

But the biggest bummer is not so much brands, but being able to value its worth. That is what gets on my nerve. I don't know enough that when I buy for example a jacket, it could be worth $100. But you could probably con me for $500. I don't know if its just simply lack of exposure or the ability to discern, but it just confounds me sometimes when I hear my friends, especially those who are rich enough to afford it but still say "its too expensive". I think thats something I'll need to re-learn. How to value clothes, how to value everything from cars, paintings, and just simply everything in totality. Which I think its true as we are stewards of God's money. God has given us his money, everything is His, but he gives us the responsibility and freedom of choice to use it wisely.

Something might COST alot. But doesn't mean it is WORTH alot. Something may be WORTH alot, doesn't necessariy COST alot. It's how you VALUE it.

And I want to learn to value things. One of the silliest but painful lessons I had recently was destroying a nice white t-shirt which I bought. The ink of another shirt ran and totally ruined my nice white t-shirts. Although it's only $20. But it felt painful because I bought it with my own money, and I truly liked the shirt. So thats the other flipside of valuing, not only you know how to discern, but also you treasure it, you want to take good care of it.

There is a mental note on things we have. Like if you dress cheap, you'll feel cheap. If you download stuff off the internet, you'll treat the real thing cheaply. The world loves to perpetuate the notion that you can have instantanious pleasure. Hence so many are in such deep credit card debt.

But if it's your hard soaked sweat and tears, you'll treasure it. In the same way that Jacob served under Job for 14 years before he got his dream wife. There is the appreciation of the fruits of your labour.

---

So, how much are YOU worth? Yes, You as a person.

Can a person be valued? Monetarily. Actually, I do believe somewhat, that we can and are valued monetarily, although its not perfect but I do believe that the world evaluates and gives a worth to someone in which it is reflected based on your wages. In Risk Management they do place a value on people based on income, health and other factors.

Take a construction worker and the desk-manager. I reckon the construction worker probably works harder, but the manager gets paid more. He is valued higher, perhaps based on his education, his abilities, his skills, smarter or more effecient. Heck, even statistics proves that if your prettier, more handsome, or even dress better, you are more likely to succeed and get paid more. Hence, the coined term "dressing for success".

Even if you look in the past, things like dowry, or even in chinese culture, we have our own customs of trading an animal for a daughter. Although we may say that its just a gesture of thanks, but I'm not surprised if its previously some sort of barter trade for human life.

Although it sounds extremely cruel, but humans have a value. Hence we are investing in an education to increase our value, education, skills and knowledge ups our value. You can look at the world monetarily albeit it does feel a bit cynical to take that kind of perspective on life.

There is 2 perspectives every person have. How they value others, and how they value themselves.

People who value themselves always up their value, their self-worth. Like people who don't value themselves,do not take care of themselves and give themself away cheaply. It is the same way as someone desperate for food, they will scavange dustbins just to be filled. In some way there is a correlation of self-worth and love, akin to money, although we all know you can't buy love.

I like something Sarah quoted to me before "There are no ugly people, just people who act ugly". I think that word actually goes deeper than just the way they act in front of people, but their core values and principles, because deep inside they are not intrinsicly worth much. No doubt there are people who put on masks, but who you realy are inside would eventually be reflected on the outside.

People who value themselves and are truly worth much, they act maturely, beautifully, they take good care of themselves subjectively (hee hee), and out of an abundance of heart, they seek not only their own welfare but the welfare of others. Someone who is rich can give and help. Someone who is rich in heart is able to love others wholeheartedly.

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So how much do you value yourself? I used to have this massive struggle being able to come to reconciliation with myself. Knowing that I am not that valuable. I am not smart, I'm not strong, I'm not great, I'm a nobody. I'm not that handsome, I'm not from a rich family, I'm nothing much. The more I evaluate myself it feels like a spiral downwards into depression.

How much do I value myself? I have been bought with a price. Like I've said just now, that each and every person has actually a monetary value. I have been bought with a price. I have been bartered, just like a dowry, the men buys his wife. What is my cost? I am priceless. My value has just increased infinitely.

The cost is Jesus Christ. 2000 years ago Jesus hung on the cross for me. In his death, he has bought me, a strategic move to shift me buy me out of the Kingdom of Darkness. He has given me a new name, and a friend.

I am no more valued by the world, I have a different worth. Although I may not be worth much to this world yet, but I already have an internal worth, that would be expressed out in the external.

God values me even when I might not value myself, but if only I have a glimpse of how much God values me, I would be worth much. I am now so valuable I am overabundantly rich. Rich people value themselves, and they encourage others to see beyond their eyes as how God see's them.

The beauty of it all, is that God didn't just save me and say "I'm valuable" then leave me to fend for myself. Like the bride, he has also given to us a personal trainer. Someone to teach the bride how to act, dress and live life as a Princess or Queen would.

We have our trainer. His name is Holy Spirit. When we are saved, God see's us so absolutely valuable that he has given us his Holy Spirit. And he is teaching us how to conduct ourselves, how to live a life of Victory, he is the helper to our every need, body, soul and spirit. He will not leave us, neither will he forsake us. I can do anything in Him who strengthens me.

I am valuable, I am worth so much. And I value you, because you have been paid by the precious blood of Jesus. Now that you have accepted him, won't you see yourselves through his Eyes?

O valued Son and Daughter of Christ, "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you. (Isaiah 60:1)

Jesus is coming back again...

2008-07-13T20:56:00.004+10:00

Here's a question that's driving me bonkers right now.

Jesus is coming back again. It's supposed to make me happy. Rejoiceful. Something that I would look forward to.

But I don't. Do I look forward to Him returning? Do I even know Him?

Thats distardly disturbing. I love Him, do I? Hehe.

Yeah, some people say like Paul and Peter look forward anxiously for Jesus to return. Reason that they are suffering and persecution. I don't think so. I think they had a revelation of who Jesus is, the bride anxiously awaits the coming of her lover the groom. She prepares herself for the day he will take her away.

Do I await with the same anticipation? Do I know the lover of my soul?

Love Suffers Long

2008-07-11T23:00:00.009+10:00

Last couple of days, the words "Love people to wholeness" have just been circling and circling in my head. It got me really thinking. Especially of a really friend of mine, due to tragedy who lost someone very dear. "Love her to wholeness". She is really suffering right now, due to the loss.

Suffering is a very unique term. Especially in the life of a Christian. To some extent it is even unavoidable and as Christians, we are asked to take pleasure in it.

Phillipians 3:10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death,11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!

2 Corinthians 1:5 For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ.

2 Timothy 3:12 Yes, and everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.

1 Peter 3:14 But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats

Lol, it almost seems that the Christian life is pretty masochistic. That if is that you suffer for Christ.

Suffering for Christ is not Cancer for Jesus Society, or Poverty for Jesus, or suffering from mental illness, depression and emotional distraught.

Why isn't that suffering for Christ? Jesus healed the sick, you should not be sick, cancer for Jesus is a lie, Jesus was never sick, Jesus fed the hungry, you should never go hungry because of poverty, Jesus raised the dead, your child should not die, nor should you lose your love ones early. Jesus cast the demons out of people, he set those who are in bondage free, all those who lose their mind became whole. All were made well.

A lot of Christians tend to suffer from Christian schizophrenia. To non-Christians, we say "Come to Jesus and all your sins will be forgiven". And then when we become Christians, we warn people "Beware of Sin~! After God curses you". That does not honour the blood of Jesus. Jesus blood is so powerful it has wiped out ALL sins. Past, present, future.

Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature ; rather, serve one another in love.

Knock off the stupid stuff, live a righteous life following after the Spirit, and Live. God has so much more in store for you, more than what the world can offer. Hence, the Word of who you are in Christ, what God has in store for you, and our mission is so important.

Jesus said Matthew 6:10 - "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven." There is no sickness, poverty, death or mental psychosis in heaven. Heaven is the model. You are supposed to pull it down to earth. Jesus is the perfect representation of every Christian. We impersonate Christ, it is impossible with our own strength, but we have the Holy Spirit. All things are possible in Christ.

So what is suffering for Christ? Carrying up your cross. Bearing the burden. What did Jesus suffer on earth? Persecution and Loving people.

I like what Kris Vallotton says "You can be in pain and not love, but you cannot love and not be open to pain". The door that opens up to love opens up the opportunity for pain. When you love someone, I'm not talking about BGR, but love, truly love someone, you invest your time, emotion, and even who you are on them. You are not only just being there for them, speaking words, but giving your life, piece by piece to them to build them up. Hence, you open up yourself to hurt, because you are giving yourself to them, and people sometimes do reject that, and it is rejecting you. Or even despising what you give them.

Yeah, even as Christians we hurt each other. But learn to love each other. Because although we are humans and make mistakes that unintentionally hurt each other, 1 Peter 4:8 - "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins".

Why is loving people suffering?

Life isn't about suffering. It's about Joy. But there are times that things do "happen" in our life, or in the life of those whom we love. Like my friend, who lost her loved one. Or times of trials and tribulation, when things in life just doesn't go right.

The question is not to ask God "Why", but rather "What". The attitude in life that you adopt would set course your destiny. The difference between a David and a Saul. I don't know why things happen. Even Job asked so many questions. It's becoming one of my favorite study books because he asks all the deep crying questions of our heart but he never got any answers to them. Not because God wasn't answering His questions. Actually God was. It's simply this "I see All". Not just our current, but what is coming. He See's All. All possible alternate timeline, all possible futures, all possibilities.

One revelation I felt, is that everytime we hurt. God is hurt with us. Jesus cried when he saw Lazarus. Why do bad things happen? I don't know. But we're not there Yet. We live in a world of conflict, and if Jesus was Here, it wouldn't happen. Hence, Jesus is coming back AGAIN!!!

So why does loving others hurt? It's because not only we open up ourselves to hurt. Be we share their hurts. Phillipians 3:10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings. Fellowship, being in life with people as we are in life with Jesus.

1 Corinthians 12:26 - And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.

We suffer, because we care. To a brother or sister who has suffered loss, we as a body suffers not because the part of the body is now only dysfunctional. But we support the part, nursing it back to health, and drag it along in this world until it has been healed, pushing on for the Kingdom.

The cross is not just heaven to earth, up down, but left right, us to men. Reaching out to others, caring, loving others as Jesus love us. Getting in Fellowship with each other, carrying each others pains and burdens, and giving them up to the Lord, sharing in each others lives. The Pharisee's asked Jesus which is the GREATEST OF ALL COMMANDMENTS. Jesus gave them 1 commandment. Love God, Love men. It's not 2 commandments. It's one. When you love God, you will automatically love men.

Hence, Urban Life. It's not just a bible-study. But doing life together, sharing life in health and sickness. Praying for one another, building each other up with the Word of God, and truly being there for one another. The devil comes like a roaring Lion. And how Lions attack and kill, is by singling out their prey, and going for the kill.

To love someone who is suffering is to be really there for them. And it is and can be absolutely draining, especially if it doesn't seem to go anywhere. They can be like a black-hole, sucking, consuming everything in, just going into the "pity-me" state. Like a pauper "feed-me" mentality, hence the children of Israel went round and round in the desert for 40 years, and only 2 people out of that generation made it into the Promise Land.

Hence, repentance is a beautiful thing. And we are called to "Love people into wholeness". Love people, inspire, encourage.. for your dark night of the soul shall only last for a night. But Joy comes in the morning. To love someone into wholeness is not just simply loving people when they are down. But also to rely on the strength, wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit.

I can only impart what I have. If I do not sit at Jesus feet, I am like the dried up old wine-skin, being squeezed for the single last drop to thirsty people and squeezed out like Martha. Or I could sit at Jesus's feet and receive New Wine. You cannot bear other peoples burdens forever. But you can out of love help carry theirs, until they are ready to give it to Jesus and see the restoration flow. Like Job's 3 friends, who sat beside Job after he suffered such loss. Bearing one anothers sufferings, getting down with people, being with them in their life.

Love people into wholeness. That is your call. That is your burden. To Love like Jesus.

Dreaming with God

2008-06-26T10:10:00.003+10:00

This isn't so much a devotional unlike some of my previous post, rather more of some of my thoughts over the last month or so. To some extent I feel like finding back my Bill Johnson books, I've been giving so many of them away I've lost track, I only now have one on my shelf. Lol.

But yeah. Dreaming with God. I like what Pastor David Cho says, that dreaming is and can be one of the languages of the Holy Spirit. The imagination isn't bad. But it must be sanctified. But even Larry Randolph says that sometimes lots of nonsense stuff do come out, which I have to admit I'm no different. Hence its important what we fill our minds and hearts with.

But yeah, being a dreamer again. A child tends to lose his ability to dream by the time he reaches 10. Give him a pen and a paper when they are younger and progressively see as time passes. I like this funny story from Bob Mumford, a little kid was drawing huge big circles and big stuff on a paper. And the mom asked "What are you drawing?", the kid says "I'm drawing God", the mom replies "You can't draw God, no one knows how he looks like", and the little kid, so cute, he comments "They'll know when I'm done".

There were many dreamers in the bible. And I believe it is even related to faith. I believe Joseph had a dream, and like so many people who did not succeed, I believe Joseph out of faith in his dream in the pits, being a slave in Pothiphar's house, and even in the dungeons, held on to his dream. I'm not too sure where in the bible, I think there was a verse, where it says, God tests the word, until it comes to pass. And from his faith in the dream and determination to push on with the Lord at his side strengthening him, his life story is our glorious history of saving his family from starvation and establishing a nation.

Even David, prophecied to be King, he definitely dreamed of what it will become. Took him many years, being chased around by the King, further and further away from the throne, with so many times David could have taken the throne and put himself there, but he didn't promote himself. God tested the word in his life, tested his heart, until it came to pass. God finally promoted David.

Dreaming with God. I don't know if I'm dreaming with Him, or simply dreaming by myself. But these last week or so, I've just been sitting down and just dreaming. What goals, dreams, what do I want to see happen in my life in the next 5, 10, 20 and 40 years of my life. I am 23 right now, so that means I would be 28, 33, 43, and 63 respectively.

Proverbs 13:12 - Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.

A dream fulfilled is a tree of life. Sometimes when we don't dream, we don't really know what we want in life. What goals do we aim for, what desires do we want. I've heard from someone that you shouldn't dream, because you are limiting God. I don't think so, I believe it's good to dream, good to plan, but if God takes you on to another path, just follow him, that's Ok.

God knows the innermost desires of our hearts. Sometimes we might be dreaming wrong, taking on the dreams of someone famous or someone else, but if we put our trust in Him, submit to His plans and purpose for us in our lives, He will always bring us to our destiny.

The thing is that we sometimes see the goal, the shining castle in front of us. When Jesus wants to bring us down the windy road, we in our pragmatic thinking would prefer to take the straightest route, going up and down the mountain, when Jesus is taking us through to the sidepath which is the tunnel through the mountain. I guess the issue is always to be submissive to His voice and inner promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

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Another thing that has been going tingly in my heart concerning dreaming. Is also living by principles. Principles isn't a law. But it's living out of a thoughtful approach on living life, and it's also living out of the Words which Jesus spoke. Living out of the living word of God.

Recently I've been reading through the beautitudes again and again. Its because I don't understand it, but I do know that my heart is learning. The Beautitudes (Matthew 5-7) carries more understanding and life principles for a person to live a grace given harmonious life.

Matthew 7:26 - But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.

To have the right foundation to build my dream house upon. Lol. I find so much to think about, so many things to just trying to understand, I am always marvelled when I read stuff from great patriarchs of the world, which I love reading about, both spiritual and financial giants, then I go back and think how small I am in thinking compared to them. Ha Ha.

But I am not alone. I got my best friend Mr. Holy Spirit, my senior partner in all of these, Who has been around longer than the creation of this world.

Why bleed?

2008-06-16T09:35:00.010+10:00

I woke up this morning, especially after having such an amazing time at church yesterday with a word from God. Haha, Got me excited the entire morning, I was like worshipping, and almost break out into Dangdut, man. I should have, but held back the urges~! Haha! *Dangduts in the law library*

So, why do we bleed?

Bleeding is a counter-measure of our body responding to wounds. Haha, Don't kena me, especially you doctors, but in our blood is white blood cells, red blood cells and platelet's.
*The red blood cells carry oxygen that keeps our entire body functioning.
*The White blood cells protect our body by fighting against invaders
*The Platelets, it comes together, like a sticky adhesion, and it heals the gaping wound, covering it up.

A severe hurt is called a wound. Wound is a type of injury in which in the skin is torn, cut or punctured (an open wound). (wiki)

A wound that has healed up, is called a "Scar". Scars (also called cicatrices) are areas of fibrous tissue that replace normal skin (or other tissue) after injury. A scar results from the biologic process of wound repair in the skin and other tissues of the body. Thus, scarring is a natural part of the healing process. (wiki)

A wound that doesn't heal is because it has dirt or gunk that is preventing the would from healing in which the body would produce pus. Pus is a white-yellowish substance made out of liquor puris, and dead cells. It is the bodies response to fight against deadly bacteria caused by dirt or bacteria in the wound. A wound that has pus needs to be cleaned using anti-septic to kill off the bacteria before it can slowly heal.

Medical science can discover the physical aspect of the human body. But the human is made of out 3 things. The Body, the Soul (emotions,mind) and Spirit. And we get hurt in all 3.

Life is such, that we go through with all kinds of hurts, both spiritual, emotional and physical. Some small, just a minor beat on the arm, feels pain. Some deep, with a big gaping wound. I have gone through hurts in my life, most are just small smack on the head. I had a horrible physical wound on my right leg. It took me years to recover. Emotional? Haha.

But the question is, is that whether are you still carrying a wound? I mean a emotional wound, are you hurting inside when things around you are normal? A wound still hurts when you touch it, because its OPEN WOUND. A scar, has a fibrous covering. It has extra skin over the place it was once injured. It is harder than normal skin. It hurts no more when you touch it. But is cool to the touch.

There are many hurting people out there in the world. I know of girls, hurt so badly, they do not trust guys anymore, one even turned lesbian because of hurt. Many people think they can cover up their wound, by putting on a band-aid. But if it becomes pus, no matter how much you cover it, it still is bubbling up sickness inside.

There is a phrase mentioned "Hurting people hurt others". And that is very true. Why do they do that? Is it because they are intentional? Yes. But the reason for that, "a wound that is unhealed for so long, bacteria gets in, and it becomes pus infested".

Pus infestation is poisonous, it spreads not only to the body, but in can spread to others as well when you share your lives with them. And it kills. Hence, "hurting people hurt others". The problem always lies when a wound goes through a hurt, with so much junk, gunk and dirt, that its own white blood cells can't fight off the bacteria. Not only do they slowly kill themselves, but their love ones. :(

________________

But there is A Blood, that cleanses all wounds, that cleans all junk, all dirt, all bacteria. This Blood is so strong, that it not on heals physical wounds, it heals all emotional wounds, it heals all spiritual wounds.

What blood is it? It's the Blood of the one and true living Son of God, Jesus Christ. And He was "Wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon him, and with his stripes we are healed." (Isaiah 53:5)

When the blood heals, it heals completely. But there is question. Does God heals you fully, in that there is no scars? or does he still leave scars? I personally have no answer to this. I think he heals you completely, but he does leave scars.

_______

There once was a girl. She was beautiful. Her mom called her beautiful. She was very loved. But life circumstance and mixing with the wrong crowd brought her to wrong places. And she fell in love with a man she thought loved her very much. One day, the man brought her to this place, and wanted to have sex with her. And because she wanted his love so much, she agreed to it. And she gave him her purity and innocence.

Next thing she knew, people came through the door. They took her by the hair, and dragged her outside. She wasn't even clothed. She was still naked. She was dragged outside, not even allowed to stand up, with her body scratching against the hard sandy floor, with cuts and bruises as they dragged her outside the house, into the streets, and into this building.

In this building, sat hundreds. Hundreds of men, sitting from above, looking down at the centre of the court, where she was dragged to. And she was thrown right in front of a man. She felt shamed, she felt embarressed, she felt hurt, she was confused. She thought she was loved, and the next thing she knows, she is now being accused, with chants thrown at her, and people wanting to kill her, wanting to stone her for the act of adultery according to the laws.

But the man who stood in front of her. This man, handsome, beautiful, robed in white, stood up before her. She was scared of the crowd, but felt peace. A gentle peace in the eyes of this man. His eyes burned with passion. This man stood up and said.

"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her" (John 8:7)

And the crowd, convicted of their own sins, left the synagogue. And only Jesus and the girl remained.

Jesus picked her up, and said "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?", "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Jesus says. "I don't condemn you, go and sin no more".

__________

Do you still carry your weight of sin? The hurt? The mistakes of the past? There will always be regret, but does it still haunt you? I tell you now that if you would let him, Jesus will pour out his blood, and clean your wounds, removing all guilt, all hatred, all the disgusting things of your past. You don't have to pretend it didn't happen, but you get to believe it is already under the blood. Jesus is saying to you right now "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more".

Stop believing the lies of the devil. Stop letting him steal from you anymore, the devil has stolen a lot from me, but not today, no more. "the devil came to steal kill and destroy, but I came that you may have life, and life more abundantly" (John 10:10). Close the door to the past, and let the cleansing blood of Christ be your panacea that cleans your wounds, open the door to Jesus. Let His blood heal your wounds. Jesus is saying to you right now if you can close your eyes and imagine his eyes, looking into yours, the passion and love as he wants to touch you and make you whole.

And all that is left from your wound will be a scar. It is not a disgusting looking scar. Scars to me are a symbol of honour. It is not ugly. Neither it is beautiful. But it is a sign of an overcomer. You are an overcomer, you are a conquerer.

I once asked God, why do we hurt? Why do we hurt others? Why do we need to go through hurt? Is it necessary?

I never really got my answer. By like Bob Mumford says, "So that you will have a Word from the Throne, a Word from God that will help your fellow hurting brothers and sisters in Christ".

Revelations 12:11 - "And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb, and by the word of their testimony"

If it is not healed fully yet, Let Jesus be your healer today. Let him bleed over your wounds, and your testimony shall be the power that defeats the work of the devil.

Jesus showed Thomas his scars. One on the left hand, and one on the right hand, and Thomas called out to Jesus, (John 21:28) Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!". He had scars, his scars won him the victory over all authority, over all sin and death, over every power dominion in heaven, earth or under the earth.

Your scars? Let Jesus heal your wounds, and your scars will be victory banners to the hurting, the lost and dying out there in the world. And they will say "Jesus is Lord and My God!"

Going to start Blogging Again

2008-06-16T09:34:00.003+10:00

Yup, Bern Bern has convinced me. I will start blogging again. Haha. Thanks Bern Bern. I was thinking of blogging again after my exams. But I think I'll start now~!

Haha, I just realised I have so much to write about. Maybe part of the reason is that I haven't been sending my reflections to Daniel for quite a bit.

Just to remind myself, 3-4 things I'll need to write about
1) Fathers love
2) Generational Thinking
3) The Spirit of Excellence
4) Why we bleed?

Christmas 2007

2007-12-25T10:10:00.001+11:00

It's 10am in the morning 25th of December 2007. And I'm sitting in my jammies (well, not really jammies, but makeshift jammies of clothes) just thinking what a great Christmas it is, with "My Hope" blasting on my headphones (not to wake my sister up).

It's strange, but I don't think I've ever had a better Christmas. And I'm not really joking or being sarcastic. For some strange reason, this year feels like the best Christmas ever.

Just thinking about it, I have about umm, 5 bucks in my wallet. 76.60 in my bank. Eh, more money than I expected! I thought I got 15 bucks. Hahaha! Got paid from Fry's yesterday, Thanks Wes!

My parents got me clothes from Malaysia when they dropped by 2 weeks ago (Super Thanks!), I'm going to wear my superbright orange-red shirt today! Haha. My sister got me something but I forgot what it is. Hahah! Planetshakers City Church got me the "Free" Album (which I had to pay 25 bucks, but for them to release it early for me, hahah thats a gift in itself!), my uncle and aunty have prepared me a super nice warm meal last night in Melton.

My Father in heaven? An awesome year in 2007. And a hope, a future, and a destiny veiled in mystery that lies before me, that is beyond what I could imagine, dream and ask for. That cost Him not an arm and leg, but Himself entirely. It cost Him Jesus.

Is it the best Christmas? Yes it is. I don't know why. I didn't get the most impressive, or beautiful presents. We didn't even put up a tree.

Maybe this is the best Christmas ever for me, because it's less about everything else the world can offer, but more about Him.

Overnight Prayer

2007-12-01T10:25:00.001+11:00

Yup, It was amazing! We had our overnight prayer last night, which was on the 30th of November, from 10pm till 6am. Wow, it was awesome. I can only give praise to such a crowd of people, who will stand the night and pray for the church.

The biggest crew was the 10pm till midnight. I think somewhat close to 300+ people came. Which was amazing. By midnight, the crowd started dwindling a bit. And by about 6am, there was a little over a 100 people. But it's still a awesome turnout.

There had been 4 watches, and 3 breaks in between. Each watch is 2 hours long. So it's from 10pm-12am, 12am-2am and so on so forth. The breaks lasts 20 minutes. So technically out of the 8 hours, we praised, worshiped and prayed for about 7 hours, and then had 1 hour in total rest.

The encouraging part is always to see your best friends pray alongside with you and pray throughout the night. I wonder if it wasn't after exam period, how many other people from PlanetUni would have hold the night as well. To stand the night, sacrificing sleep for the cause of Christ. Thats the really encouraging part. To see young men and women of Christ, crying out for more for God to make a difference in their life. "No matter the sacrifice, Lord we need more". The mood and the atmosphere was just mind-blowing. Although everyone is aching of tiredness, some of the girls are just really hilarious, because their kneeling down, look like their praying, but I think they've fallen asleep. Hehehe. People all worshiping God and walking around the hall praying in tongues continuously, as the prayer leader in front is praying without ceasing.

I believe tonight would be a night to be remembered. It's the first of many more to come. And tonight we have planted seeds of revival in our church. 2008 would be a year of great harvest. Very very great harvest. And it is continually important on our side to continue planting, praying, and pressing in for the increase, that the Holy Spirit would pour out his spirit with a measure that there is no end upon Planetshakers.

An interesting statistic, we grow by 1000 people a year. Pastor Russell wants us to conquer Telstra Dome. Thats a 100,000 people stadium. It's going to take us 97 years to do that. Melbourne has nearly 4 million people. We don't need all 4 million people to be in our church, but Melbourne needs Jesus. And we are one of the fore-frontiers of leading Melbourne into a revival. We need a multiplication to reach the lost! I need a blood-washed Melbourne!

I to go out into all new territories, invading new realms for God. We need new anointings, powerful fresh anointings that were once lost, we need them now and now again. I want anointings like Smith-Wigglesworth, raising people from the dead, John G Lakes, killing diseases by touch, John Wesley, Preaching so powerful that people get convicted of sin miles and miles away, Semple Amy McPherson, that even down the road, the presence and power of God can be felt, people just in awesome fear knowing that the power of God is present, Kris Volloton & Larry Landolph, calling out peoples destiny and deepest dreams without even knowing them, Cho Yonggi, a million people church!

Minding my thoughts and words.

2007-11-06T19:53:00.000+11:00

Yesterday I was talking with Marcus for about an hour in the Law building. It was after my work, and was just sitting around just chit chatting about life, and Sundays sermon.

I found myself talking something that I shouldn't. I personally found it weird, and didn't realize I said all that until I guess God pointed out to me about it while working today. I felt I had to repent and change my thoughts concerning the matter.

We first talked about Graces, what Grace are we operating in, just kinda threshing out some ideas and thoughts about what our graces were. And then for some strange reason, we started talking about other people, from other urban life's and stuff. And for some reason, without minding my words and thoughts, I started giving opinions that are, I guess one-sided, and without in consideration of their grace in which they operate in.

I wasn't really bad-mouthing per-se, but I wasn't really giving the respect due, like I was talking about how certain individuals, how I can't really hold them in high regard. But then again, its because I haven't worked long enough with them, or have only seen a bad side of them, without taking the view in total.

Strange, because we were just only talking about Grace, and both nodding about how the little lady who bakes cakes for church in the Kingdom of God is on equal standing to the preacher, or the worship leader. And yet, here I was 10 minutes later talking bad about someone. I felt a bit bad afterwards.

I felt the bible verse I read, I feel I must put into practice. To add salt to wounds, I was thinking of going on a "Positive confession Fast". :D

Proverbs 8:6 - Hear! For I will speak of excellent things; and the opening of my lips be right things.

I think I'm going to need this bible verse more, and maybe start meditating on it.

2 Corinthians 10:15 - Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

Yeah, I need to mind my thoughts and my words. Uh Oh, feel like I'm going to start preaching a flood of a lot of things I've just learned. Hee hee. Better stop here for now.

Jesus = Weight loss program

2007-10-23T03:27:00.000+10:00

Yeah, serious, spend 2 hours jumping up and down in music. Definitely lose weight!

The Peace of God

2007-10-23T03:13:00.000+10:00

I've been doing a little mini study on the peace of God recently. I don't know why, probably it's a bit on my co-current study on issues of the heart, patterns of the mind.

The peace of God is a powerful study. Pity I don't know too much about it. But while I was doing a study on it, for some strange reason, I felt further away from the peace of God. Like there was at one time, I for some strange reason had this thought in my mind concerning an assignment, whether I did it well, or maybe I flopped it, which it made me thought about the possibilities of even needing to stay back another semester just to graduate. Wouldn't sound too bad to be honest, as I would fulfill my 2 years studying here and could apply for my PR.

But I don't want to fail, I don't want to be held back. And it was very strange, somewhat, like the thing I am currently reading up on, I am being put to the test. So I held fast, started to worship, prayed, told whatever spirit that is not of God to begone, and the fear allured. I felt peace.

Proverbs 4:23 - Above all else, guard your heart,for it is the wellspring of life.

The book of proverbs is not only an interesting book of philosophy, but it is also the knowledge of perhaps the 2nd wisest man in the world. The wisest is definitely Jesus! Hee hee. As he has the greatest search engine within him, the Holy Spirit. And so do we. But like Pastor Matt says, that we want to be lead, we want to follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

To submit to Christ, is to submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit, and let him be our guide in all expects of our life as he knows ALL the answers. Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

I don't know what are the full extent of fear and what are its causes. But I do know that fear causes people to grow old fast, causes people to die. Stress and fear are the same thing, just being put in another word that sounds more matured, and acceptable. We as humans aren't meant to live in fear. Though there is uncertainty and mystery in life, thus fear is not believing in the goodness of God in our life's circumstances. It is partnering with a spirit of unbelief that will only hinder us from hearing when God is giving us the solutions.

1 John 4:18 - There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

There is no fear in love. If we are continually aware of the perfect love of God, we should not fear. Like Jesus, in the boat, amidst the storm, the disciples are screaming, wailing in fear. But Jesus could sleep in the boat, As there are no storms in him. Thus, he could say to the storms, peace be still. I like what Pastor Bill Johnson says that "My internal reality defines the nature of my external reality. If I prosper in my heart, I will prosper". I can only Give what I have. If we have peace in our heart, with Christ has already given us, and we lay hold and claim it, we are able to manifest the peace of God speaking forth into our circumstance.

John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

To be continually aware of the perfect love of God is to know that you are totally redeemed from the sin and death. There is no more punishment awaiting the children of God, as the blood of Christ has covered all sins. So from God, what awaits is only the blessings and grace. Yes, there is moments of training and correction. But this is not done by sickness or disease, neither poverty or adverse sufferings. There are times, God allows the shadows of these into our lives, but it is never to test us above what we cannot bear. As God is a good God. God does not tempt us with evil. (James 1:13).

Perfect love drives out fear, as amidst the deepest darkest circumstance, the knowing that we are in the palms of his hands, and if we only seek him for the answers to our problems, stand fast and believe in the coming of His glory, He is our salvation. Why should there be worry, if you are in the knowing that your life is in his hands, and he loves so much. Thus, the knowledge of his love in our life, would bring us peace, as we know that he is above the storms.

There are times, that we feel like Peter walking on water, when we look away we are sinking, we sink and sink until the waters are all around us, only our head is above the water. But Jesus is there, we will not go under. He will lift us up, and not only lift us up to walk on water, he promises us to lift us up above the storms. Above the clouds. He is absolutely good.

Phillipians 4:6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Praise be to God for this absolutely terrific and pregnant with power verse. Bring everything to the Lord in prayer and thanksgiving. I'm currently reading up on thanksgiving and praise right now. To praise and give thanks amidst circumstance, is to stand on faith, to thank God for the circumstances in life, that though it might not be comfortable, but adverse circumstance unveils the issues of the heart, the truth of the person, and it is an invitation into greatness.

To rejoice amidst circumstance is the opportunity to rise out and live out an expression of faith, that we are more than conquerers. How can you be more than conquerers if there is nothing to conquer? God is good, his mercy endures forever, for it shall only be a day of evil, but we live in seasons of blessings.

And the promise of a peace which transcends understanding will guard our hearts and minds. This is not just some nice phrase that Paul uses. Even Jesus talks about it. I believe that when we are in dire circumstances, the very first thing we should always do is come to God with prayer, petition and thanksgiving as our first and main priority. We tend to go to God last when all options fail.

It is in the peace of God, that circumstances can change. The physical realm is a shadow of the spirit realm.

Good. So so Good.

2007-10-15T03:45:00.000+10:00

Jesus you are so Good. You are so so good.

Just one touch, and my world would never be the same.

Issues of wealth & prosperity

2007-09-28T22:01:00.000+10:00

I realize this is a very big issue in the body of Christ. Not only among Christians, but actually everyone to be honest. The issue of wealth and prosperity. The issue of money. I've been doing some studies on the issue of money. As it really incorporates a big aspect of my life and my outlook on life. Even the bible talks really a lot about money, and a huge chunk of the word of God is on money.

And I have to say, that I've been struggling with it for a very very long while now. But I believe God is renewing not only my mind but also my heart in this area.

The problem about money, is like even the term economics mean. It's the management of scarce resources, and I should know better considering I'm an economics student. According to the world's point of view, resources is scarce, and hence based on the law of demand and supply, whatever that is in demand is worth more, and what has ample supply is worth less. Money is the mediator between commodities.

Money moves the world. Or so the world says.

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I have an issue with money. Simple as that. How do I know that? Because I get jealous. I find it a very disturbing notion, but it's simple enough to understand once you just wrap your brain around it.

I remember the other night, a really good friend of mine was telling about her trip to England. She was telling me about how she ended up eating chinese food everynight haha, but she really enjoyed the sights and the views. And just loved travelling around London and stuff. Of course, like the mature man I try to be, I act to be happy. I smile, I laugh, I chit chat and inquire more. But deep down in my heart, I can feel that there is something brewing. Something ugly, a lack of peace for better words. A absence of joy, that I can rejoice in my fellow sister in Christ for her happiness. My rejoicing was empty, it was fake, it was doing it because that seemed like the right thing to do, not because I was truly happy for her. And I should be, but I just can't.

This really troubled me. I had to seek the Lord about it. Because how I've been handling this situation has always been the way the world tells me to. "Grow up John, so what if people are richer, Grow up, stop whining". Although that helped me to some extent, it only covers up the gaping wound that is pulsing of pus, and if left unresolved, it would eventually grow rancid and the spirit of bitterness would creep in. Hence the world is a cruel place out there. People are willing to stab each other in the back for their own advancement in society. People are cruel and ruthless. There is no love, only for themselves. "Grow up" Doesn't work! The best people can hope for is that maybe some day they will be rich. But then again, there are very very rich people who are still bitter, and always wanting to hoard and hoard and hoard more.

The issue of being rich, wealthy and prosperity is not one of the physical presence of money. But it is an issue of the heart.. Unresolved issues of the heart will only hinder me from receiving the grace of God that he has in store for me. I believe the jealousy that I hold deep down in my heart when I hear someone tells me something great that happens in their life is because I am partnering with a spirit of unbelief.

I remember a while back, the second week of February 2007. I was praising and worshipping God. Singing Planetshakers - Big. And I was just worshipping, screaming to the top of my lungs. And I felt as if God was telling me, "John you are rich". And I just broke down crying. I was just worshipping and just thanking God, rejoicing with all my heart for his goodness in my life. And I believed, from this day onward "I am Rich". From that day onwards, I started changing my thoughts, no longer will I ever say "I am poor", rather "I am Rich" let it be a confession of my mouth.

And soon after that, during our Planetshakers Baptism service, I had a word from God, he was telling me that He wanted me to be the same, before and after he releases the blessings on me. That I would not be turned from him. I would not be moved. The blessings of God is so good, that it will not destroy us but we in turn, should attempt to prepare ourselves to receive. That I would not be swayed when the outpouring comes.

Deuteronomy 8:17And thou say in thine heart, My power and the might of mine hand hath gotten me this wealth.
18But thou shalt remember the LORD thy God: for it is he that giveth thee power to get wealth, that he may establish his covenant which he sware unto thy fathers, as it is this day.

And we although Gentiles are of the promise of Abraham. For it says in Galatians 3:14 -That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

It is by Jesus, his Grace poured out to me, paid by His blood, that he will give me the power to get wealth.

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The issue about wealth, and being rich amongst Christians, is always the very misquoted verses of 1st Timothy Chapter 6. I used to debate it to no end, but I thank God that also God has been revealing to me the entirity of this verse in its context, the meaning of it.

1 Timothy 6:3-10

3If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, 4he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions 5and constant friction between men of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain.

6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

The problem with money, like I said, is the issue of it in the heart not the physical presence of wealth. 1st Timothy 6:5 is the clearest meaning to the entirity of what its all about.

"who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain."

We live under Grace, and not under the law. The law says, that if you do good, God will prosper you. If you do bad and not follow God's commandments, the curse will fall on you which is sickness, destruction, and poverty. Thus, like the in John 9. When they asked Jesus why is the man blind, was it His sins or his parents sins. When people become rich, they believe it is by their good works that brought them the wealth. It is by THEIR WORKS that they boast in.

1st Timothy 6:10 - For the LOVE OF MONEY. Not money. But the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. And they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

They seek after Money, they do not seek God. I like what Pastor Brad was saying the other day in DNA. That the Love of Money can be seen in everywhere. Even in porn, why do people degrade themselves? Money, because it's such a exploding industry. There is just so much money inside it that people are willing to do all things to themselves for money. The world loves money, even Jesus says, that Matthew 6:24 "You cannot serve God and Mammon".

The issue of the heart, is that when you are poor, you can still be going crazy over money, desiring more and more. But a man who trusts in God when he is rich, he is cool, not running after money, but after the One who gives you power to get wealth.

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I never quite understood the verse 1 Timothy 6:6 "But godliness with contentment is great gain". Until now, but still not in full revelation. To me, contentment especially financially is like a abberation and contradiction to the verses of us asking to ask God for more.

Like in

1 John 5:14This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Matthew 21:22 - 22And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

Christians do not ask for finances as they believe money is evil, which is wrong. There is no difference in asking God to bless your family, bless your finances, bless even your dog. For the blessings of God is health, and wealth, and favor. Just see Deuteronomy 28. Even Jabez prayed and asked God to bless him, and he received it. (1 chronicles 4:10).

What is the issue? Godly contentment but okay to ask for more. Doesn't make sense does it? Not without the issue of the heart. It is not the physical presence of money, but the heart. You can ask God for money because your heart is right with God.

How do you know that your heart is right with God?

Mark 10:21 Then Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me.

It is not so much the physical presence of money. But the willingness and utter submission to Christ, that if God pops up to you right now, and asks you to give everything you have and follow him. Will you do it? Jesus LOVED THE RICH YOUNG RULER! And all he asks, is for us to pick up our cross and follow him.

The issue of the heart of Godliness with contentment, can be further exampled in the ability to give your tithes. Acts 4:32-35. The people of the church of Acts sold EVERYTHING that they had. They were willing to give it all up for Jesus.

Why are they willing to give up all? Because, God is worth it and he shall provide all our needs according to his riches in Grace. Does it mean that we are meant to give up everything to our church? No.

1st Corinthians 9:6 But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.
7Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
8And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:

It is not how much money, but the issue of submission. If you tithe generously without any remorse or feeling of lack, it shows that you are in line with living in Grace, living in the Spirit, your HEART is in the right place, not in Money but in God. That you know deep in your heart that God is able to make all Grace abound toward you. That YOU WILL ALWAYS BE SUFFICIENT IN ALL THINGS, THAT YOU CAN DO GREAT WORKS!!!!!!

Hence. I believe "I am Rich". Seriously. I am so Rich. So So So Rich. Why? Because God's Grace which is more than super awesome will abound to me.

Phillipians 4:19 - But my God shall supply ALL YOUR NEEDS according to HIS RICHES in glory by Christ Jesus.

When Jesus died. Was it a poor death? Was his sacrifice worth so little? No. All the universe from the beginning of time till now, all the riches, all the gold, everything put together will not weigh a inch near Jesus. And he shall supply all my Needs according to HIS RICHES.

Ephesians 3:20 - Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.

Anything that I can think of. He is going to do better. He is going to do more! He is seriously going to blow my mind away with what he is going to do in my life.

Hence, "I AM RICH", I AM SOO SOOO SOOOOOOO SOOOOO RICH!!! It is not only the issue physical presence of money, it is the issue of the heart!

"when you believe that you are rich in Christ, it manifests inward out. Like a River it flows into us and out changing atmospheres, manifesting into reality the Kingdom of Heaven, the will of God of the fourth dimension into our third dimension " - Pastor Russel Evans.

I used to know this in head, but not in heart. That when you Believe that you are Rich in Christ, your circumstances will change. It will not stay the same as it was. But it WILL INCREASE. Because Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11), Through faith, the worlds were framed by the WORD OF GOD. SPEAK OUT THAT YOU ARE RICH in faith.

I don't know how to put this best till Pastor Bill Johnson put it down in awesome words. "For we are to crucify ourselves in Christ, submitting our personal desires and dreams and putting ourselves on the Cross and follow Jesus. But the problem of the church is that we not only crucify the old self, we crucify the resurrected spirit!!!, When you are born of God, God will put in you new dreams, new desires, new passions. And by pursuing your dreams, desires and passions with righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost(Romans 14:17)"

If you believe you are rich, you will have more than enough, more than you'll dream of. You are rich. It is not whether you have a million, a billion or a trillion dollars. It is MORE THAN ENOUGH, and not only in money, but in all aspects of your life, concerning friends, family and all your circumstance in life. Everyone around you shall be blessed because of you. And God will command the increase.

Like the story of the servants with the talents (Matt 25:14). If you follow the Kingdom of God in Righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Ghost, God WILL command the increase of everything that you have, doubling, tripling AND YOUR MONEY AS WELL.

The only person that didn't double his wealth was the man who hid his talent in the sand. Why? Because he said this

Matt 25:24 "Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed:
25And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. "

That man didn't believe that
1) God is a generous God.
2) God commands the blessing, it is God who gives us the power to get wealth.
3) He was afraid of money (like so many in the Christian circles), and hid it in the earth.

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Whahahahaahahah. I'm so happy right now.

Back to the introduction. The world believes in Scarcity of resources. God believes in multiplication of loves and fishes.

The world believes Money moves the world. No, Christians that is empowered by the Holy Spirit that moves the world.

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1 Timothy 6:17 - 17Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;
18That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;
19Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life.

God wants to give us RICHLY ALL THINGS. RICHLY ALL THINGS, RICHLY ALL THINGS for us to enjoy. But put your trust not in money, neither be proud. And if you are so bloody rich in physical wealth, you will do great works. Always Ready to distribute and communicate with others to bless the nations. Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come. That Christ is number 1 in my life. Not money.

I am rich. I don't have that much money yet. But I am rich, and God will command the increase in my life.

Being rich is not only what you can do for yourself. But what you can do for everyone around you. With what little that you have, you are rich when you can bless others. I am able to buy Assam Laksa for my urban life. I can give 10% of my tithes to church. I can spend more on my friends. I am rich because I don't have to strive and stay back till crazy hours at work. I am rich because I don't have people chasing after my possessions because I cannot pay them back. I am rich because I have friends and family who love me and I am able to spend quality time with them.

I am so super rich. And the best part? God is going to command the increase NOW.

God is setting me free in this area. I don't know if I've been fully redeemed yet. But I feel the way to overcome jealousy over other peoples blessings is to know. That I am rich. It is the issue of the heart, not the physical presence of money. And God will command the increase.

Praise - Empowered to push on. (selah)

2007-09-26T02:20:00.000+10:00

Have you ever had the feeling of being down? Out? and just depressed?

Well I do tend to get that from time to time, as my mind haven't been totally renewed from my life circumstances. I'm continuing to believe in God, asking him to help change my mind, to walk not in sight, but in faith as he change me slowly. Changing my perspective on the world. As I believe from the springs of faith inside me, shall swell up and change atmospheres all around me.

In times like these when it seems most dark, I'm learning how to praise. Praise God like there is no tomorrow, learning like David, to praise God despite all circumstances, like Josiah when the enemies surround him from all sides, he praised God. There is something very powerful in praise. Praise You in the valleys and praising You in the mountains. Planetshakers acknowledges it, I even have the bible verses to back it, but right now feeling abit too lazy to find for it. Maybe I will meditate on them tonight before I sleep.

But yeah, at the moment right now, my situation feels very dark. But once I start to praise, The atmosphere changes. Fear turns to faith, and I am no more partnering with a spirit of unbelief, but with the spirit of God who sees all things are possible in Christ Jesus.

"Every story that has lasting effect in your life, has been when the impossibilities of life bend its knees to the name of Jesus" - Pastor Bill Johnson.

I have an impossibility right in front of me right now. But I shall not be afraid. Neither should I be jealous of those who don't suffer the same life's challenges as me. But I shall rejoice, until the ones who come against me flee 7 ways. I shall not foster or develop offense towards God by legitimizing my own unbelief.

Rather I shall rejoice again. That the victory is in the here and now, and all his provisions come equipped for me to say to the mountain be removed, and it shall.

Joel 2:25And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

26And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed.

Lifehouse - Everything Skit

2007-09-09T23:48:00.000+10:00

True Relationships

2007-09-07T01:18:00.000+10:00

Just got back from Planetshakers "True Relationships" seminar. I have to say it's been really great and a real blessing. I felt I learned a lot of things in the seminar. And I thank God it's to some extent as what I expected it to be and even more.

What I love and I felt most important, is the culture of freedom and choice in relationships. That there is no control, no subjugation, but freedom in relationships. Freedom with discipleship.

The problems about a lot of churches is that they put rules and regulations when coming into relationships. Like no kissing, cannot do this, cannot do that, have to wait for a certain time period and so what not. Although it may sounds good, but it is still legalism. Boundaries, or in IT, it's hard systems approach hahaha, where you need soft-systems approach as everyone is different, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. :P

Planetshakers doesn't want that. Rather it is with prayer and supplication and having a friend who has the Holy Spirit to encourage and make sure that what you are thinking and saying is in line with the Spirit and not the flesh. That we may learn to continually walk in the spirit together in partners with Christ the third party in a relationship that it may be holy and acceptable unto God. Not with rules and regulations but with the Spirit.

I think thats the biggest thing that strikes me. It put a big big big big grin on my face throughout the entire session. :)

Identity in Christ

2007-08-29T22:31:00.000+10:00

Have you ever wondered about Identity? Who are you? Who are you really? Are you just a creation of your environment? Or are you your own person, truly your own identity?

One of my friends blog got me thinking about this for a while. And for him it was in the case of changing his identity for his friends or to do his own thing for himself. But to be honest, sometimes even friends can be delirious and selfish. I think true friends would want the best for their friends, but at the same time want their friend to be happy. I think its better to take a humble approach, where you suggest, and not force. And to realize that what we think is best for us, might not necessarily be good for others. One mans food is another mans poison.

Now going back to identity. I was just thinking about Owen Wilson. Where he attempted to commit suicide. I wonder whether actors suffer from identity crisis. Theres so many stories about actors, when they act, they believe they are the personality, they are the person themselves. They mould their belief and identity to try and become like the person their supposed to act. I remember not too long ago, Owen Wilson acted in a movie where he attempted suicide as well. Try to slit his wrists. Just thinking of another actor in Malaysia, where he acted as a homosexual pedophile. Apparently he got too into it, that his girlfriend had to leave him as he was getting creepy. :P That actors get too caught up in being everyone else, that at the end of the day, they don't know who they really are anymore. Owen Wilson was such a funny actor and comedian. To be honest, he's one of the very last few people on my mind for me to realise that he is suffering from depression.

Yeah, back to identity, I seem to be going everywhere. So, who am I? I think a lot of people ponder about this continually day and night, and its always changing as you get older. I was John the kid, John the primary school student, John the secondary school student, John the Uni student, maybe soon John the lover, John the husband, John the businessman, John the multi-billionaire, John the great father. Hohoh.

But I guess the one thing I can continually have as a pillar of strength, the thing unchanging in my life in terms of identity. The thing that I'm always going to continue pursuing and be like. I want to be like Jesus Christ.

He is supposed to be my identity. That when I've picked up my cross to follow him, I am suppose to assume to be like him. That he has traded places with me, that where I was sick, now I'm healed, where I was poor, now I'm rich, where I was condemned, now I'm free. The revelation of his sacrifice for me, springs up love unconditional, knowing how much he has done for me, I want to walk in his footsteps, to do the things he do, to love people the way he does, to cause great signs and wonders and shake the very foundation of this earth like Jesus is still doing.

I think i'm saying these things in a very shallow manner. Because I don't have too much revelation on it yet. But I want to continue to pursue and learn more, go deeper into the identity of Christ. As therein lies the power to be more than conquerers, to overcome all of lifes circumstance, to destroy the works of the evil one on this earth. And accelerate the coming of Christ by learning how to receive and let his Glory shine through me that I may be the salt and light of this earth, and no one can deny that Jesus Christ lives.

I remember on my forum, someone asked "Whats so great about Jesus". 2000 years later, people still talk about him fervently, 2000 years later, its the most powerful religion on the face of the earth, 2000 years later, it's still going strong, and its getting stronger.

Heart of Passion

2007-08-21T21:23:00.000+10:00

Give me a heart of Passion Dad,
Give me a heart that moves as what moves yours, break my heart for what break yours,
a heart that desperately seeks after you,
a heart that hears the gentle beat of Christ
a heart that moves with the peace of the Holy Spirit within me,
a heart that loves unrestrained,
a heart that believes in the things you have in store,
a heart that wants to move mountains
a heart that doesn't want to be left out from your path
a heart that understands the needs of the people around me,
a heart for the lost,
a heart for my brothers and sisters,

A soft, beating heart of love. And love for You, and you alone.

God is good!

2007-08-13T23:25:00.000+10:00

Yeah, just when you think it cannot get any better, It does!

Got my tax returns! Hallelujah! Going to give a big sum to God, then save the rest for my mom & dad when they come here for holiday.

Going to fix the car so don't have to walk in the cold to work anymore. And and and, the rest to pay off my visa! Yay!

Praise God! Oh yeah, my school fee's. Ah-Koo's covering everything! YAY!

O PRAISE THE NAME OF JESUS! YAY YAY YAY!

There's more fantastic great things coming as well. But with great blessings come Great Responsibility! Hahah. Where did I get that from? hmm. :)

The fulfillment of the Law. Love.

2007-07-21T14:09:00.000+10:00

Romans 12:8 - Owe no man anything, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
Verse 9 - For this, thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
Verse 10 - Love worketh no ill to his neighour, therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.

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To me, thats just Wow.

I've been doing a study on the Love of God, and Law vs Grace for quite a while now. And This has really open up my eyes, or connect the dots. I've been doing a very slow study of the book of Romans, which is more or less the theological foundation of Christianity.

And I love it. That Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law. That we fulfill the law not by the works of the law, but by the spirit of the law, which is Love.

That we fulfill the law, by loving one another. Not by "Do's" and "Don'ts". But by loving your neighbour as yourself, you do things in love.

I sin not, not because I fear God, that he will punish me if I do wrong.

I sin not, because God has poured our his love on me through Jesus Christ and many more blessings to come, that I couldn't even be bothered thinking of Sin, but just want to love God, and love everyone else around me, and share the love of Christ and his wonderfulness in my life.

That is living in Grace. :) The true fulfillment of the law through the spirit and not through works.

The Gospel

2007-07-09T01:07:00.001+10:00

This topic has been on my heart for quite a long while now. The topic of "The Gospel" or the good news. I don't really know where to start as it's pretty big. I guess it got brung up again when I was talking with Nicole, Surein and some of their friends over dinner, and the topic of religion came up. I thought to myself, thats a huge topic, but I just wanted to have a small summary of it.

I believe there is a lot of Christians out there, who don't know the Good News, they know portions, and some even more, some even less. And neither do I, but I believe I have at least a dip of something more than the average Christian folk out there.

What is the gospel? Gospel means the good news. Of what? Repent, and your sins are forgiven. Repent means to change your mind, your thoughts. That Jesus the son of God came down to die for us for the forgiveness of our sins, that we can return to God if we so chose to without needing to do anything but just accept the gift which is Christ Jesus.

The problem then, is always about religion. Christianity is not a religion, its a relationship. A religion is a set of rules, a book of do's and don'ts. If you do this, God will bless you, if you don't God will destroy you.

Christianity should never be and it never was a religion. The people that crucify Jesus, that mocked him, that tried and kill him while he was alive were the Pharisee's. The keepers and the holier than thou people. Don't mock the Pharisees, for every law or good work you can keep, the Pharisees can do it better. They are people of utter seriousness to the law, they are people of outmost outstanding and they still exist today in all forms. But these are not the people Jesus hung out with but rather Jesus criticized them for their hypocrisy.

Jesus hung out with the foul mouthed fisherman, the hated tax collectors, the prostitutes, the people of every day and walk of life. "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick" Matt 9:12. He came to the people who are in need of a savior, not the people who are trying to be the savior.

Why did Jesus criticize the pharisees, the upstanding people of society, for their hypocrisy? Their doing so much good, their giving so much to the poor, they are making society a better place.

Because, it is not good enough. Their salvation is born out of flesh. Their own works.

God is a God of order. Where there is sin, it must be punished. Either in this world or the next. Where does sin come from? Since the garden of Eden, when Satan tempted Eve into eating the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil.

What is the fruit of knowledge of Good and Evil? It is not sin. But it is wrong for man to eat it. Why? It's simply means, independence. As in Genesis 3:5, "You shall be as God, knowing good and evil". The KNOWLEDGE of knowing GOOD and EVIL simply means that you are responsible for your actions.

Have you ever wondered, what is God's standard? I mean, if there is a standard in heaven, as to whether you can enter or not. What would it be? In the Old Testament of the Bible there is never a stated standard, never a measurement. I asked my muslim friends, they say it's 50%, that if you do more good than bad you can enter. For the Jews, they also don't have any idea, but their trying their best, and some really go so far to give their lives to earn their salvation. Same goes with even catholics to be honest, who become nuns and priests for erroneous reasons.

What is the standard in the new testament? Romans 3:23 - "For all have sinned, and come short of the Glory of God". The standard is, impossibility. It is perfection. Utmost perfection that is unattainable.

There is a belief that sins are quantifiable. Like I was telling Surein and Nicole. He was asking me about my belief on homosexuality. I believe it was a sin. But there is no such thing as a more worse or less worse sin. In the eyes of God, a boy who lies to his mother about his grades is just as bad as a homosexual pedophile who preys on small young boys. There is no big and small sin. Even the bible quantifies FEAR as sin. The bible says that they are the first people to enter into Hell. The fearful, people who are afraid all the time. Being afraid is a sin. Yes it is true. Romans 6:23 - For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Then how can man ever be saved? Who is this God, who creates us, to even begin with have no chance only to be destroyed in hell? What kind of evil God or mad God who could do such a thing? It's just simply irrational to create something then destroy us like were his puny playthings. Simple things to throw around. IF none can be saved, then why live our pathetic useless lives? Might as well live like the devil and do what we want, rape pillage and murder. We're all going down to the hellhole anyway, might as well go off with a bang.

Hence, in all religions, every religion can call God Great. They know his sovereignty and his judging hand or power. They FEAR God, the pharisees and the uber religious give their craziest best to God. Some even willing to strap bombs and sacrifice themselves thinking its Gods will, currying favor to enter into Heaven with the promise of 72 virgin wives. Some dedicating their lives to a cause, to ever abstain from sex and alcohol and work in a church the rest of their lives.

Only Christians, can call God love.

There is such a thing called, the transference of sin. In all cultures and ancient religion, there is always a sacrifice. It means, that something has to die in your place, your sins being transferred unto a innocent lamb. It sounds barbaric, but even in law, there is something called the law of double jeapordy, that no man can be punished twice for the same act.

And that is why to Christians, Jesus who is God himself manifested into flesh and died in our place. Hence Christians call him "The Lamb of God", The ultimate sacrifice to take our place. The final one and perfect sacrifice.

Romans 3:24 - "and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 25God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— 26he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus."

The Gospel or the Good news simply means, you don't have to work for your salvation anymore. Salvation is freely given. It is a gift from God, it is priceless, but not cheap, it is attainable to all and it cost the most expensive thing in the universe. Sounds like good news? Or rather "Too Good to be true news". But thats exactly what it means in the Greek. THE GOOD NEWS, the gospel.

Hence Christians are the only one who can say God is Good. And God is Love. When you have a God who is Righteous, judging, but at the same time Merciful. It is impossible for mercy to mix with Judgement. Because if you are fair, and God is fair, too fair. Every sin must be punished. And hence mercy came in the form of his Son to those who would believe.

All God is asking, is that you point at Jesus. He is the one who takes away the sin of the world. By faith you believe in Jesus, that you are forgiven from all your sins, and you are forgiven. Why did he do that for you?

"For God so Loved the world that He gave His one and only son, that whosoever would believe in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life" - John 3:16

That is the Gospel. It is the message that God loves you. He never meant it to be this way, but man chosed independence. He wanted to live his own way. But now he's offered you a way back. Which is through Christ Jesus. This is THE GOSPEL.

Hence, Christians is the only religion on this planet that can call God Love.

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"To know the heart of God, is to know the character of Christ."

John 8: 2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" 6They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

11"No one, sir," she said."Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

God is not angry at you anymore. He does not want to condemn you. But he has to. But you don't have to be if you would only hear the good news.

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Homosexuality and Christianity

2007-07-09T01:06:00.001+10:00

I personally think this guy represents the topic homosexuality from the Christian point of view with utmost accuracy to my personal opinion. I think it's interesting to hear this. Especially if your very interested.

http://www.podcast.riversedgeonline.ca/mar_04_07.mp3

Romans 8:1 = There is therefore now no more condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus,

Homosexuality is a sin, but no more or less than stealing intellectual property like downloading movies, watching pornography, living in fear.

Homosexuals need forgiveness which is in Christ Jesus, not condemnation from the church. And if they want to leave their lifestyle, it is always open to them that we should pray for them. I don't know if it works, but I believe there is a God, and he is here to help if you want his help.

If not and want to stay homosexual, there is therefore now no more condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus. :D And that is the most important message of the bible.

I'll post more in my Christian blog. As there is so much more to talk about this topic. But I think this would be enough from my supposed 'christian-less' blog. :P "Less" not "None". :P

Savior King

2007-07-08T03:50:00.000+10:00

Man I'm just hearing this song again (you can play it in my songbox on the right).

And it's the first part of the song that so speaks to me. Just gives me goosebumps, but the warm and fuzzy type.

"And now the weak say I have strength
By the spirit of power that raised Christ from the dead
That now the poor stand and confess
That my portion is here, that I'm more than blessed."

Dad, my portion is here. And I'm more than blessed!!!!!!!!!!!

Life's Good, and it can only get better!

2007-06-26T01:34:00.000+10:00

Just been pondering about it. Life's good. :)

I mean, theres been so many opportunities that passed me by, possibilities that have been squandered, and so many things have not gone the way I wanted to. I was a bit melancholic just now to be honest. Just thinking about the life I could have lead, especially comparing it to my peers, seeing how they enjoy life and all their worries it sometimes feel insignificant that they've missed out on the big picture compared to my problems.

But really lah, I was just thinking about it. And the more I think about it, I just feel worse. Till I put on some Christian music and realise, that my worries are insignificant and I've missed out on the big picture. Like David, a 'selah' moment.

God has been truly awesome and good to me. I'm here in Australia, where most of my friends have not come, I have an awesome job, that pays well, and gives me a bright future. I have nearly supported myself 100%, but of course with the help of my sister and the emotional and spiritual support of my dad, mom, brother and sister in law. :)

Either than that, Jesus has been good during my studies. And I believe he has a bigger plan awaiting for me. Plans not to hurt me, but to prosper me in all things as my soul prospers. It's about time my life's back on track.

Aih, I'm really needing a miracle. I would like to call it a big one, but to be honest, to God, whether its a headache or a cancer, it's neither big or small to him but the same. It's only big and small to us if we look through our own eyes. But through the eyes of faith, all things are possible in Christ.

So, I'm needing one, but I believe in the power of seeds and in the harvest. Man know not the time or the how it grows. But by the looks of the field, harvest is just about ripe for the picking. And I shall have my harvest. :) It's going to be so huge. I can already see it, but yet I cannot enjoy it yet. I have to be patient, I have to just rest in my God.

2007-06-23T02:41:00.000+10:00

Ephesians 3:19 - And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.

God is the author and creator of love. Love is : not that we love God, but he first loved us. (1 John 4:10). And even all over Corinthians, about how with all the gifts if you have not known love, you are like a resounding Gong.

I personally take the topic of love very closely in my heart. I believe there is so much revelation and power in love of Christ for us, the supernatural transformation. The boldness and the peace to step out, knowing that nothing shall come upon you, like Jesus sleeping in the boat with the storm, or him walking through the crowd that wanted to stone him.

I don't want just a point in theology, but I seriously want a divine experience again, I believe in biblical knowledge, but also experience is just as important, and in the church we have just brushed off experience for knowledge, saying its all just emotions and comes to nothing. But I personally think many of the people of the new church had very little knowledge, but with what very little biblical knowledge they have, they have felt the touch of his presence, and went on and do great things. They didn't have the bible. But they know Jesus healed and is still healing, and went out and healed. I don't want to know God in doctrine, but in person.

1st Corinthians 4:19,not the speech of them which are puffed up, but the power. 20 for the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power. 20 What will ye? shall I come unto you with a rod? Or in love and in the spirit of meekness?

To know Him not only in head, but also in heart.

Hearing Pastor Bill Johnson, the word 'know' over here is the same as Adam Knew Eve, and she bore a son. Strangely enough, this sermon which I downloaded like on Sunday, I didn't knew it would be about this verse that I had read the night before. I want to know God, and let him bore in me that will give birth to a supernatural transformation in me.

I want A touch, a warm huggie hug of his presence, to know that it's all alright, that I am his super beloved son, that I am a King and Priests and big things are going to happen in my life, a firm assurance and affirmation. That Jesus be so glorified in my life, that I don't have to try very hard, Jesus is just exploding, pouring our like rivers of living water out of me.

Oh man...

You know what, I love the way how girls cry so easily sometimes. Especially during prayer, they can just so easily tap into God, just open up and just remember the love again and just feel him, heheh, just remembering our prayer time we had a month ago or few weeks, where we just had a 'thank you' session and the girls just started crying. For me, I find it hard sometimes. The last time I cried in church was in February. Not that I want to force it or anything, but I just want him to just pour himself into me. Just pour into me your love God. Make my heart soft and fleshy to just absorb and just soak in his love and transform me from the inside out.

Jesus Camp

2007-06-17T03:46:00.000+10:00

Yeah, I just watched it recently. It's a documentary about a some fundamental Evangelicals in America that is causing controversial right now as it was presented on live television. What it mostly was, is about children going to Christian church camps and being indoctrinated, being 'warrior for Christ' which critiques say it's equal to Islamic radicals teaching kids to destroy Israel and America's the great Satan.

Well, Jesus camp ain't that bad to that extent, as in they are fundamental, but not radical but of course it has been cut and pasted to show similar to that effect, especially the zeal and he Christian wackiness of the people running the camp.

I think a word of description is needed for my definition of fundamental and radical. I believe Fundamentals are super law-based or very religious individuals. That they believe in right and wrong so sternly that sometimes its almost Pharisee-like. A good example would be this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCODIhAXbQM , the infamous "God-Warrior". :D To see how fundamental they are. Heheh, A fundamental would push their beliefs in your face. But a Radical will kill you for it. So to me, thats where the line stands between a fundie and a Radical. Of course, the Jesus camp people are fundies. And no where in the movie did they ever want to harm people or cause any harm to people.

Hmm, thinking about religious militancy, I think it is important to know, that Christ doesn't call us to be soldiers to fight for him against men. Like during the time of Jesus, the people wanted to make him the King of the Jews, because they believe that he is their awaited Savior from the line of David, that would come and rescue them from the Romans and restore the Kingdom of Israel. Which Jesus had no intention to at that time. And hence they crucified him.

Jesus called for us to go out, preach the Good News, heal the sick, destroy the work of the evil ones, which is casting out demons. Not raise an army, and put those who don't believe to the sword. Like Jesus says, if they don't receive you, dust the dust off your feet, and move on to the next town.

Yeah, back to Jesus camp, Kinda side-tracked. Well, I really disapprove with Jesus Camp. I think the whole thing is pretty messed up lah, just to simply put it.

I think the biggest irk on my shoulder concerning Jesus camp would be the amount of politics their feeding the kids. I mean, their just kids for heaven sake. I don't see why they need to teach kids about global warming, evolution and creationism, and anti-abortionism. I mean, what does this have to do with Jesus?

What happened to teaching kids about Jesus feeding the 5 thousands and calming the storm, Jonah and the whale, David and Goliath, Noah's ark, and all the happy stories of the bible? Instead their being fed the sickness of America! Kids unborn being culled, creationism, George Bush and the rest? I think there is something doctrinally seriously wrong. They seem to be harping on issues that doesn't matter, that does not benefit the believer in anyway whatsoever.

It's really sad that state of issue, that their being too bothered with the things of the World and not the Things of Christ. Teach the kids the Love of Christ, not political issues.

For me, I think I can live my entire life happily totally oblivious as to whether the world was created in 6 days or few billion years, and whether we came from monkeys or from the earth. I personally couldn't care less. I learn both, I think what I like, but it doesn't shake the foundation of my faith one bit, because it's not based on creation, but on redemption. The Finished work of Christ!

The significance of Jesus Death on the Cross

2007-06-12T05:20:00.000+10:00

This is something I recently posted in a forum, when someone asked what was the significance of Jesus Death on the Cross means, and the gift of righteousness. I personally didn't think through it very properly, but it kinda came of a revelation heheh. But Anyway, I just wanted to jot this down and then slowly go through it again, I don't know if it's correct or not, but It kinda shocked me nevertheless. And I probably would want to go through it again in a slow bible study once my exam papers are done.

Anyway, this is what I Said

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Wooooaaaaaah, this is going to be heavy bible-study material, and unfortunately i'm amidst exam right now. Because this is will be a good study on the promises of God and the new covenant. And heheh, to fully understand the significance of the death of Jesus on the Cross, heheh, wow. Hahah, you'll be totally transformed.

Jesus died on the cross to cleanse us from all our sins. But I think sometimes like Thorns say, we don't understand sometimes the burden and weight of sin, and now being righteous in God's eyes.

I think like Jesus says in the parable "He that is forgiven much, loves me much" Luke 7:47

But I like what Reflector says by 'overpaid', to me it's semantics, I think it's not accurate, but he simply means that we just don't understand the gift of Christ, as there is more meaning that just being cleansed of sin and going to heaven. "John 10:10 - I came that they might have life and life more abundantly."

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By his death, we are cleansed from all our sins.

Being cleansed from our sins means that we are righteous in Christ, we have the righteousness of Christ, and in Him we are Righteous. (all over romans,Galatians,Hebrews, etc too lazy to check)

And because we are righteous, we are

1) Able to receive the gift of the Holy Spirit (This one I need to do some deep bible study into these, as to whether the Gift of the Holy Spirit is a gift because of the death of Christ on the Cross in John 16 it says that he has to go, if not the Holy Spirit will not come, or for some other reason, but I remember someone said that the people who could heal and cleanse people during the time before Jesus died had not the Holy Spirit IN them but ON them, like prophets or people of old,in John 15, it does say that they were cleansed by the word, but not fully forever by the blood, and only the Holy Spirit entered into people because they are cleansed by the blood of the lamb, and that is where we differ so greatly from the old covenant people, if anyone has revelation, do share)

2) Free from the curse of the law (Galatians 3:13) Curses can be found in leviticus or something if your interested hee hee.

3) To be redeemed from the Law in which we can Have intimate relationship with God in which he is now our father. That we are no longer servants but sons of God (Galatians 4:5)

4) In which we have confidence to ask anything according to his will.

(And thus we should study the will of God, especially the blessings and inheritance, which includes the blessings of Abraham, Galatians 3:6 onwards and Romans 11 onwards) Hence, that is where you get the Prosperity Gospel from, because they study the blessings of Abraham given not to only the Jews (which are the richest and most influential race in todays modern history) but also the the Gentiles.

5) We are a new creation, we are now Sons of God, Kings and Priests. Okay, this is getting into some really spiritual stuff that some of you might start shooting at me, especially those that don't believe miracles still happen today.

I like how Pastor Bill Johnson (you can get his stuff in the sermon downloads) puts it, and he has alot more bible verses concerning this topic, I haven't done a thorough study on this and hence I don't have much verses to it. But, now that we are now seated in heavenly places, when we are still on earth.(Hehe this sounds very sci-fi) That we are now ambassadors of another world, which is the Kingdom of Heaven and we have authority on the earth to destroy the works of the evil ones. (Kings and Prince), healing the sick, casting devil out of people, binding and breaking demonic influences, loosing the spirit of God and providence. (Probably need a new thread if you want to discuss on this)

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I think more simply put, everything Christ is, because he team-tagged and switch places.

I think there's more. But I got to get back to study. I've already spent an hour thinking about this.

Fires around my life

2007-06-08T00:42:00.000+10:00

Suddenly thinking of the metaphor Pastor Prince was saying, concerning where the Devil tries and distract us by starting small little fires around our life. When we're busy putting one out, he starts another one beside it, so we get distracted and instead of putting the first one out, we concentrate on the second one, and then keep going around in circles.

I'm kinda feeling that right now, as my exams approach, there's just suddenly a lot of distractions keep on popping up my life. And its been causing me to be in fear. Stress is just another name for fear. Hence, it's been causing me to be fearful.

But I will cast it upon the Lord for he cares for me. When a miracle is what I need, its a miracle that I would get. My job is to do what I'm supposed to do, which is to study hard, pass all my exam papers, which isn't impossible, and let God handle the rest of my problems.

It's strange, but I hate it when I have problems especially those that are just beyond me. I really hate it, but it's like Paul says, thorn in the flesh, pain in the butt, and I'm really praying that God removes them in my life. But at the same time, why it's there, is so that I can only trust in him and truly no one else. And it's sometimes so hard to just put our trust in God and God alone, because to be honest, it's my unbelieving heart in God's goodness and mercy to trust in him over my situation. And I hate that.

But I will step into this new realm of faith. That beyond my circumstance, the storm rise and crash all around me, it shall not overcome me, it shall not destroy me. Jesus you are in my boat, and I will rest in you.

I hate the uncertainties in life, but I love the certainties of Christ, that I am greatly blessed, highly favoured, and deeply loved. Man call it uncertainties, because they don't have God on their side, but God is on my side, I know for certain, that I am deeply loved, greatly blessed and highly favoured in he Lord.

Prayer for studies!!

2007-06-05T21:16:00.001+10:00

HELP!!!! AAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God give me quality time, that when I study, I'll study smartly and do well! Amen.

Convictions of his realness

2007-06-03T02:28:00.000+10:00

Have you ever wondered to yourself, asked yourself a very straight and no nonsense answer, about your conviction as to why God exist and why he is real, why the God of the bible is truly real?

I thought about it for a while, of course we can always say that

1. The bible says so. The Word of God that convicts
"Oh because the bible says so", and really it does and I wouldn't doubt you. But for someone who doesn't know Christ, they would question the authenticity of the bible and go into a endless battle of nonsense, especially if their the intellectual sort. But to the smartest of them all, like Einstein, they believe in a God, or some kind of higher being, but not necessarily a personal God. And to people like them, this is where the message of the Grace of God is needed to explain the character of God.

But the word of God inside of us is very very powerful! Confirmed by the Holy Spirit, we are Kings and Priests to speak power into our lives. The Bible says so, the word inside us is the foundation of faith. Though the non-believer may not understand, but for us, my conviction is also Word-Based and it must be WORD BASED if not your believing in a lie and not the truth, for the Bible is the truth.

2. Emotions and/or a touch from his Spirit.
How about emotions that God is real? It is A revelation of God's love in your life. I think some and most people in Planetshakers accept Christ because of this. That they had a touch from God during church either during the worship or during the sermon. That a emotion or a spirit fell on them and they just believe in it. And I think there is nothing wrong with it, I think it's AWESOME! But at the same time, thats why you have Christians who continually run from service to another or listen to Christian music continuously to be filled with the spirit of worship and praise to continue to be in the Joy of God. I think there's nothing wrong with it, but I believe there is also another higher way.

What I hate is people who discredit this, and say that this emotions are all fake, and there must be taught the 10 commandments and get all religious. I hate that.

The revelation of his love, that comes in more than just a form of feelings, but also a realization of the truth that just opens up your spiritual eyes and this one is which it will not be taken from you. When words of revelation falls on soft soil. And it changes the whole person into a renewed creation which he would go on to be a great man of God. And wonders, signs and miracles would follow straight after that.

3. The guilty conscience
This personally to me is the worst, but it's neither wrong, just that they have to be brought to Grace right after. Some people accept Christ because they fear Hell, and therefore they want to get right with God again.

But we cannot continue in these once the person has been born again. God condemns you no more of sin once you have accepted Christ. He remembers your sin no MORE! (Hebrews 8:12) Now that you have, you should be pursuing the Christian life which is to live in VICTORY. To continue looking at Jesus and not at ourselves and our ex-sin-filled lives.

4. Miracles and Signs of wonders.
I don't know why traditional Christians write this off. But the early church brought thousands to Christ by Signs and Wonders healing the sick and casting out demons. This is also why Charismatic and Pentecostal churches are harvesting in millions all over the world to the cause of Christ. There has never been such a powerful movement of God, and it's moving stronger and stronger going around the world!

Never ever brush of Miracles, signs and wonders because it's not intellectual enough to fill your head. It is the spirit of religiousity, that the Pharisees, Saducees, Scribes see Jesus did great wonders yet still Put Jesus on to the Cross.

I personally think this is probably one of my strongest convictions. And without it, the Christian life is dry, boring, it's a religion. I like what Pastor Bill Johnson says, that he doesn't want what the world is able to replicate, he wants something that only truly it has to be God made and perfected. Not some occult or the world can replicate. But a true miracle that it HAS to be only God.

And the best part is that it starts off in faith and the revelation of God's love that he has redeemed me and he wants me to live the abundant life. That You believe it first, and then you receive. Planting it like a seed, and then it grows and then manifest into reality!

5. The Seeds of Abraham
The Jews and the Arabs. But mostly the Jews. Their existence and blessings alone is a evidence that God is alive and he Exists. And the best part, is that we are inheritors of the blessings of Abraham!

I'm trying to think of anymore of the convictions that I believe that he exists.
But I'll stop at here, because this is what I can conjure up for the moment.

God gave me strength!!

2007-06-02T01:53:00.000+10:00

Isaiah 40:

28Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.

29He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

30Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

31But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

----------------

Just wanted to say thank you to God, for strength over the past few days. I've been coming back very late, sleeping super late, and waking up super early these past few days. Right now is Saturday 2nd June. I've been sick on monday, and then started recovering on tuesday, till now still little phlegmy but I believe I am healed. My worry was that if your fatigued, your more likely to get sick again. But I reject that in Jesus name. :P

On tuesday, I've been working very hard to complete my assignment till 4am,

Woke up at 7 to work whole day and presentation Scott's urban life at night, then at night slept very late as well, God suddenly revealed something cool to me, and then slept like 3am.

Woke up at 7 as well for work on Thursdays which I had Daniel's urban life at night, finally get to sleep at around 3am.

Woke up at 7:30am on Friday for chinese presentation in the morning and then finance conference at afternoon. At night went out with Surein for drinks and dinner, just got back about 11pm, and now it's 2am. Feeling abit tired, but felt like I should write this and a few others as well as it's really on my heart and I don't want to lose it.

Yeah, and in all this, I was quite sick and abit worried for my health, but was listening continually to Pastor Prince's new series on Divine Health. Has been a ultimately great awesome blessing on my life. I love it when Pastor Prince says that God will give you strength when it matters. Like Jesus on earth, he was always going here and there and blessing and preaching, and rarely rested. But he was always full with the Holy Spirit that gave him strength.

People talk about Evil Spirits giving people evil strength like the man infested with a legion of demons who broke his chains. People forgot that there's also divine strength from God like on Jesus and on Samson slaying a thousand philistines and carrying the gates of a city! There's also many other great men of God in the bible like David and David's great men. I believe where great man of God goes into battle, God gives them supernatural strength and ability, that they become like 300. Hahaha.

In YOUR time of need, wait on the Lord by prayer, speaking of tongues, praise and worship. And HE SHALL RENEW YOUR STRENGTH!

The Naked man at Gethsemane

2007-05-29T13:02:00.000+10:00

Was reading the bible last night. I was trying to figure out who was this man? It's such a strange verse. I don't believe there's any verses in the bible there is there for no reason. But this is just weird. I tried cross-checking Matthew, Luke and John, there seems to be no mention about this, but it's only mentioned in Mark. Weird. Hahaha

Mark 14:51 - And there followed him a certain young man, having a linen cloth cast about his naked body, and the young men laid hold on him: 52And he left the linen cloth, and fled from them naked.

.... Bwahahahhaa.. I don't know, I personally found that super funny. Who was that young man? Running away naked. So weird.

New Blog

2007-05-27T01:40:00.001+10:00

Hi, welcome to my new blog, I kinda shifted tons of stuff from my old blog over. Especially Christian stuff.

I had some thought about this especially after having a chat with my brother, and it's probably for the better that I separate my blog from the normal stuff and from my Christian walk. As these reflections especially concerning Christ are very intimate and to have them broadcasted especially to people who don't know Christ may portray wrong things at times.

Thus, this is my new blog, in which I will start writing things related to Christ over here, whereas my initial blog back in Friendster would be of more other stuff.

Insecurity?

2007-05-27T01:38:00.001+10:00

Insecurity, not being secure in who you are, being comfortable with yourself.

I wouldn't say I have been struggling with it in a big way per se, but I have been hanging out with bunch of people that are younger than me, and the strangest thing is that their not very much younger, but yet it was for a while made me feel.. uh.. maybe old or boring. Hahah.

Ok, let me put this in better perspective. Simply put, my urban life or cell groups that I've been going to, most of them are at most 20, I reckon the average age in the cell group is around 19,20. Which is about 2 to 3 years younger than me, and the youngest is those straight out of high school in trinity, which is about 4 years. Sometimes its a bit hard to communicate, well even some of them my age its also hard to communicate. Like I'm on a different mindset at times when approaching life. They are too carefree whereas I am too... don't know what word do I use, focused? Tights? Think too much? Melancholic? Pondrous? Haha, now I'm starting to brag.

And although i wouldn't say I have been trying hard to fit in. But it did quite pose a question to my character, which I have been pondering about. I am with like-minded people in terms of Christ, but not necessarily like minded in terms of will, calling, and purpose. But I guess it's just a matter of looking around, which they are there, just I haven't been looking hard enough. Concerning this of my thoughts I've went through over these past few weeks and probably months, I'm writing this in a thought, putting thought on paper to be revised. I tend to like this moment of reflection, to write, then rethink, then redo it again and again. Something of a discipline I am trying to adopt.

But then again, the past 4 years since after high school has been one of tremendous growth that sometimes I feel I'm jumping the steps because I've been mentored by my brother and sister in law, great Men of God, and many other interesting people i've come across or read about in my life. And I thank God, the seeds has started bearing fruit. Especially since coming to Australia, it's been another jump in growth in planetshakers and just simply living here, coping studies, work, church and friends.

I thank God I have been exposed a little to the harshness of this world, but never burnt, especially in terms of fear and poverty. Which would either make you bitter, or stand up and come to realization of needing Jesus more in our life. I thank God I've reaped not bitterness, but a bigger realisation where we cannot live life as the world views it. But MUST live life based on how God views it for us in our lives, in other words, the Kingdom realm. Being Kings and Priests. God's starting to reveal some light on this in my life, and I love it how it's so inter-related to Grace.

Ok, back to insecurity issues. I had to take some time to meditate on this issue, and I thank God for Pastor TD Jakes, my brother and Billy. Pastor TD Jakes preaching on dreams, goals, passion etc made me rethink what I stood for, what I believe I am going to do, and put me right back on track as to what I am called for, what my passion is. And same with my brother, who I had a chit chat with asking about his experiences with Pastor Vernon who is also a amazing man of God in healing and deliverance ministry as I was romantisized by the calling, which I needed to rethink, as I am romantisized with the ups but not thinking about the downs such as what that must be sacrificed out of obedience to pursue the dreams to be like Pastor Vernon and Pastor Bill Johnson, to be honest, I would obey and do it, but I have not the passion nor the calling, and it would be in vain if I pursue. And Billy, who his coolness just rubs off on to me, and begs the question where was my cool in the Lord? It kinda went out the window. :P

I believe My life, my destiny, my calling is different than others. Where I question myself trying to conform to people around me just to fit in, I should be conforming to the mind of Christ. I like how TD Jakes put it, "that we shouldn't care what the world thinks, some would laugh, some come to despise, and then some would eventually hate and fear you". It's the eventuality of following your dream, your purpose which God has set for you. Why the hate, the despise? Because you are destroying the works of the evil one by your blessings, your gifts, your fulfillment of HIS purpose.

Jesus is in my boat. :)

2007-05-27T01:37:00.006+10:00

I'm super enjoying Mark 4:37-41. About the boat and the storm, and the disciples who some of them were fishermen were scared because of the crazy storm. That they woke Jesus up who was sleeping at the bottom of the ship. ANd Jesus calmed the storm.

You know what, JESUS is in my boat. And though the Storm are all over me, it will only last for a moment. No harm shall come over me, beyond the dark clouds, there is a bright shiney sun. Jesus is in my boat.

Jesus is in my boat, Jesus is in my boat, Jesus is in my boat, Jesus is in my boat. I'm going to take a nap with Jesus in my boat. :) Because, he is the Lord of Sabbath, the Lord of rest (Mark 2:28), so when the storm rises against me, I will be at Rest, I shall not fear. The storm will not overcome me, it will not devour me, it will not sink me, It will make me wet but I shall not drown. Because Jesus is in my boat, Jesus is in my boat.

Mysteroius mysteries

2007-05-27T01:37:00.005+10:00

The bible is full of mysteries... the more I ask God to open my eyes to his mysteries, the more questions I have unanswered. Jesus is so interesting, sometimes I wonder why he does those things. Recently I've been trying to see what Jesus was seeing, think what he was thinking when he does things. But there's still so many mysteries and ... simply put, Jesus just thinks so differently compared to us all.

Like,

1) Why does Jesus tell people to openly tell the miracle that they have been cured, (Mark 5:19&20) and to some like Mark5:43, where Jesus old Jarius to keep it a secret? Was it to protect Jarius from getting the sack? (since he was the pharisee chief), and later in Mark 7:36 asking the deaf mute guy to tell no one. Is it in verse 36, "but the more he charged them, so much the more a great deal they published it", reverse psychology? :D Then why tell for the leper? You could say that to each different individual, Jesus tells different things etc etc... but there has to be something to it more than just that. What did Jesus see to say that? I don't believe Jesus plays dice.

2) Then there's another one that I've been talking to some people about, like the connection between emotions, our spiritman, and music. I think this was one of the things that ticked me off these couple of days, that people who try and intellectualize God and his works, putting him into a box, it's the spirit of legalism, that they better be preaching hard messages of fire and brimstone if not their not doing God's work. It's a spirit of legalism. They criticize hillsongs saying that music is all only emotions, feel good, there's no word, no substance bla bla bla.

But then again lots of Great Men of God were great people of worship. And there's none other like King David who wrote most of the book of Psalms, that even until today, the words in the book is still being sung. So much so that the Bible called David a Man who Longs after God's heart. David didn't have the bible during his time. And I don't he was a scribe or a student of the law of Moses. Yet through music and worship, there is something powerful going on there.

Like I liked what Jia Heng says, "like if you listen to violent music, somehow you'll get violent. It's like u open up yourself to the spiritual realm" I don't know if there's any verses on this, I have to do a bible study on these. But even in the old testament, the worshippers of God stood in front of the warriors, and the walls of Jericho came down in music and worship.

Another thing about Spirit, the Holy Spirit is definitely a person, aside from that, but what about spirit in general? The bible sometimes have things like spirit of joy and thanksgiving, Spirit of fear, spirit of worship etc. Makes me wonder whether spirit is an emotion.. what about evil spirit? Is it different from Demons? Is an Evil Spirit a emotion or spirit that which is not in line with the thoughts of God? For like Fear as an example. God told us not to Fear, even in the bible, the first people to enter into the lake of Fire is the fearful.

There is definitely some connection with music and the spirit. I think I should download some of Pastor Brian Houston. Hehe maybe he has insights on worship. Hehe. Worship churches though you may think their wordless, it's actually far from it, their so full of the word, that they go out and do great signs, miracles and wonders in the Kingdom of God. It is hearing the rhema word (revelation), wrapping it up with faith, and going out and doing great wonders.

3) You know how the dove is a representation of the Holy Spirit? One question that kind popped into my head, I don't know if it's right or wrong, if it's wrong then correct me please, hahah this one is so contreversial to me it sounds almost blasphemy :P. But when Jesus was baptised, he saw into heaven a dove (the Spirit of God) descended unto him. Was it the Holy Spirit? There is no record of Jesus doing any great miracles before the baptism, only he had great insight and wisdom. Before the baptism, did Jesus have the Holy Spirit inside him before the baptism? Or was he only just truly human and human alone? Hehe, well the third one it's not quite a mystery, but maybe I just need to have a deeper revelation on how Jesus was truly man, God in Man flesh. Sometimes you see Jesus as God, but not necessarily as Man as well.

There's many more, and I'm asking God to reveal, to unlock his secret revelation. There's alot of power and deeper understanding of his love for me in all of these.

Good news and fear?

2007-05-27T01:37:00.003+10:00

I called back home in Malaysia to wish my mom 'happy mothers day'. And my mom had some good news, that we will be getting in some money soon, which would be great for my next semester fee's and also have to pay off some stuff like my medibank insurance and stuff.

And I was briefed on the current progress of business, it's like brighter than ever, and also up coming projects which are even bigger, better and more awesome. Then I was trying to explain to my sister some of them. But she said that she didn't want to hear it. Because she would get anxious and fearful.

I mean, I rebuked her with gentlesness. Haha. I told her not to fear, but learn to rejoice. But like mans wisdom of "Don't count your eggs before it hatches", I mean, there is some truth in that, that you don't get cocky, or start going into debt based on uncertain future earnings.

But upon hearing good news, potential business, and greater blessings from the Lord, you shouldn't be fearful and start going 'what if'. I'm not saying that my sister is lousy or anything. We all went through it. But in the name of Jesus, I shall not live in fear, I shall not listen to the lies of the devil. When the Lord blesses with awesome big blessings, of course the devil is trying to oppose it even more, but My God is bigger, stronger. No weapon form against me shall prosper.

I like what Pastor Bill Johnson says, why is it that when we start getting closer and more intimate with God, why do we believe that we are less protected? What army has less protection for it's Generals?

Thus, When I hear good news, I shall praise the Lord , when I hear bad news, I shall praise the Lord. I shall not fear, but have faith, that my redeemer, my God is bigger than all my problems, all my circumstance and he shall protect all my assets and the people whom I love.

Question of Grace

2007-05-27T01:37:00.001+10:00

This question got me thinking the entire morning and afternoon, it's a simple question, and also makes you question your mindset about God, or prayers.

Which one would you pick?
1) Daddy God, bless me so that I may bless others
2) Daddy God, bless me because Jesus died on the Cross for me.

This question got me thinking the whole day, on the concept of God, are we bribing him or trying to get favor from him? Do you really understand the significance of Christ death on the cross for us, and the question of unearned, undeserved favor either wise known as Grace?

I pick number 2 by the way.

I mean, honestly, I used to pray number 1 until quite recently. Nothing wrong with that kind of prayer, but there is a higher calling and greater understanding in prayer number 2. I believe in blessings, with all my heart, I believe God wants to bless all of us, Romans 11:11 and many others, Jesus blessed the people, most great men of God were very very rich and powerful, Churches like Hillsongs, Paradise are so big and powerful that they even have political connections, God is putting people in places of power and of influence for his Kingdom. I believe in blessings, and we should always ask God for it. God is delighted by our requests, and he wants us to learn to be responsible with it, and prosper.

But like Pastor Bill Johnson quoting someone else says, that when "God Prospers someone, did he gain a champion or did he lose one", God like a good father wants to give things to children who are responsible, like the verse goes those who have little, more will be added. Bla bla. Too lazy to find verses, plus this is a reflection not really a preaching. Muahhaa. Happy reading. But this was my thoughts on Thursday.

So what is wrong with prayer 1? Nothing wrong. Just that I am looking at myself when I am asking God to prosper me. I wouldn't go as far as saying I am 'bribing' God for my blessings. But what is my intention when I ask God to bless me? I am looking at my own works, Why should he bless me because I can bless others? It sounds noble, but at the same time it's not really a humble statement. Bless ME, so that I can bless others. If this statement was good enough, then all churches in the world would be prosperous, booming, doing awesome, and the world would tremble.

Then whats so special about Prayer 2? It is not looking at myself. Bless ME, because JESUS died on the cross for me. You are looking at the finished work of the Cross as your source of blessing. It is asking God for blessings based on the knowledge and understanding of HIS love, HIS sacrifice, HIS faithfulness. Lest any man boast. (Woah, I just came up with new revelation just thinking about this even more). When you ask God for a blessing, based on Jesus death, you cannot boast when you are rich and powerful and blessed, that it is by your faithfulness or your works wanting to help others that you are blessed. But when any man ask you, "John, why are you so blessed?".. I'll shout in their face "JESUS BLESSED ME~!" I believe God is pleased with this kind of thinking. That you honour Jesus. That every knee shall bow, every tongue confess.

If you view Your faithfulness as your source of blessing, you are going to fail. Because I know I am not that faithful, not even close. Jesus however, he is the only perfect being. And if you depend on Jesus, how can you ever go wrong?

Now coming to the act of service. Coming abit back to prayer number 1 again, lets reverse the sentence, "I bless others, so that God can bless me". What is my intention here? Is my intention to serve and to bless others, is it so that I can get blessings from God? There is something abit wrong there whether you realise it or not, there is some level of false humility, or wrong sense of thought.

Reversing prayer 1 "Jesus died on the Cross, so that God can Bless me". Buahahahahahhahahaha.. holy Cow, that just blew my mind away!!!!! Aaaargh!!! Jesuuss!!! Holy MOly!! I'm jumping up and down in my room now. I wish my room was sound-proof, I just feel like screaming the name of Jesus to the top of my lungs right now till the walls come down. It's such a powerful revelation of God's love. Jesus Died on the Cross FOR ME, BECAUSE OF HIM, I AM BLESSSSSSSSEEEEEEDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My intention to serve and bless others. Am I doing it so I can get blessing? Or is it because I am slowly understanding how much God loves me, and now I love God so bloody much, I just can't help myself but just willing to go out and do anything he tells me to do. I offer my life to you Lord Jesus!!! You told me the other day, that I don't know what it means to offer my life to you, But i'm going to wrap faith around it, and do it slowly bit by bit at the time when you open up the doors for me to serve you.

But Waaaaaahhhhh!! This Revelation of How God loves me, and that is why he is pouring out his CRAZY blessings on me.. It's just wow.... I feel like punching someone with a healing punch right now. Punch them in the face, then they turn hamsem. *punches self*.. ok.. now i'm calm. :)

Thinking like Jesus

2007-05-27T01:36:00.005+10:00

Have you ever wondered what Jesus was thinking when you read the bible? Either than just reading his acts, but going into his character, understanding what he felt, why he did such things? I mean, somethings are truly beyond us, but to think what he thinks, therein lies great revelation and loveliness to behold.

Like, when Jesus looked at 5 loaves and 2 fishes, and then fed five thousand, then again he fed the four thousand with 7 loaves and a few fishes.When Jesus looks at bread, what does he see? Does he see just a few loaves? Or a miracle happening? Does he see divine providence and prosperity?

When the storms were roaring, and even seasoned fishermen like Peter was scared in the sea of galilee, yet Jesus slept calmly and silently in the boat. What does Jesus see? With long life will I satisfy him, no righteous man shall die before his time. Jesus only awoke not at the rocking of the ship, but at the cry of his disciples in fear. Like a lovely father, who hears the cry of his child of the shadow of the big fat neighbours cat. What does Jesus see? Does see divine protection upon me, and my family and all my loved ones?

When Jesus sees a sick person on the street, a leper, a blind man, does he see a sick person? Or a full person the way God intended it? Does he see restoration and healing?

And when he see Jarius daughter dead, and Lazarus, does he see someone gone forever? Or just sleeping? Does he see resurrection and life?

When God looks at Abraham, who did not have a son, and is old in age, what does God see? Is it just Abraham alone? His generation to come? His seed? Seed is a potential to grow, and until today, the seed of Abraham is the most powerful men and women of earth in wealth, technology and influence of top countries in the world.

I'm always curious as to what God see's in me, what he see's that I can do with my life, and what I should be doing. I mean, I want to live a fulfilled life, fulfilled in his fullness and grace. The way we should look at life is the way Jesus looks at life. I mean i'm not there yet, far from it, but doesn't mean I stop searching for more mysteries available.

Changing my mind

2007-05-27T01:36:00.003+10:00

You know what, Kathleen was telling me the other day, or last month, that I've changed alot since coming to Planetshakers. Haha. I mean, I'm now less diplomatic in my answers.

Romans 12:2
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

I mean, I guess I haven't been in church or among Christians for quite a while before that, since FBC, I did go to RLC once in a while, but I never really stuck on, my mind was everywhere when I was in Metropolitan still, I knew I was leaving for Melbourne, just never quite sure when.

So being away from Christians you do tend to think more carnally. Carnal as in what the world thinks, not in align to God's will. Like for me, during last year and the year before, I was too hooked up on Otherground Forum and Nationstates forum, which is mostly just people bickering on about politics or nonsense junk that didn't quite go anywhere. I mean politics, ideology, religion, and current issues fascinate me once in a while. It's good to learn somewhat, but most of the time it's nonsensical bickering of overzealous teenagers or college kids with too much time on their hands.

Even if you win a debate, there's some other idiot who keeps on coming back and asking you the same question. Where you win 1, and another 3 comes up. Haha. Neverending like the hydra!! But the good thing is that it opened up my eyes to the many different people out there, and how people really think differently coming from all over the world.

Like for me, some I still cannot stand are communists, socialists, and the worst anarchists, all talking about their grand ideas for world unification and world peace if everyone was equal, if only the ogliarchs like Bush is taken down bla bla. And then there's atheists who never gives up talking about who irritating bible bashers are, when their rants are probably just as irritating ranting about it. Heheh, talk about calling the kettle black, but with Fred Phelps, the modern day Pharisee getting all the news headlines, no wonder they think Christians are all fire and brimstone, and they believe God is out to get them. And I really hated the time when there were those arguements (which is still on going today) about creationism and evolution. Meh.. it never ends!!! Hence I haven't been back there since.

But yeah, going back to my first statement, where Kathleen was telling me how i'm different now. Yep it's true. I think i've taken a more 'let go and let God' stance. I've been really blessed all my life and I've never really counted my blessings. I've been chasing after things that come to no fruition, my focus on life was chasing after carnal intellect. I used to be pretty up to date with the market trends, the social and economic issues in Malaysia, and was trying to follow Australia as well, but I've tone down.But like I said before, carnal intellect. Now I'm trying to get back to Jesus. I'm not saying that carnal intellect is useless, but rather it's no guarantee to succeed.

1 Corinthians 1:25
Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

So, to me, I'm trying to get back to the source of wisdom. Get back into grace, the undeserved and unmerited favor of God in my life. It's as if now my focus on life, is no more on the 'success' but on Jesus. But like my brother says, just don't get Crazymatic on the way. Hahaha, but 1st Timothy 1:7, He gives me a Sound Mind. :) I claim that.

Man, I feel like I can suddenly burst out into talking alot of new things. But I think I better stop here, before I get out of topic. So yeah, I had to repent, which means "Change my mind", change my idea's, think differently recently, since going to Planetshakers.

Planetshakers Camp

2007-05-27T01:36:00.001+10:00

Yes, I got back from it. And it was aweeeeeeeesome. I felt as if my level of faith and passion of the Lord has multifold. It was really great. I never jumped, never screamed, never laughed so much in one day. It was a really fantastic getaway from life and just chill back among fellow like minded friends. I'm so amped, I wish I could just go to a mountain and scream how much I love Jesus right now.

I guess the thing that I got most out of camp would be a spirit of worship. I've never rocked so hard, given the Lord or screamed so hard of his goodness ever. Hence now my voice is abit soft and superlow. :P But when it recovers, hahaha. Watch out devil!

I wish it was longer. It was a really great event. I even get to do my first slaining! Hahaha. Well it wasn't me, it's actually God through me. But thats great. I was praying for Gideon who put up his hand because he was sick. And everyone else was praying for someone else, but no one was praying for Gideon, so I put my hand on his back, and started praying in tongues. Then I started shouting "In the name of Jesus, Be Healed, the reason Jesus wants you to be healed its because he loves you", then started praying in tongues, and piak. He fell to the floor. Hahah. I had to catch him. And the funny thing was that I was praying for him from behind. And I didn't pull or push him. I just put my hand gently on his back while praying, and piak. :D But it's all great. I really thank God I can be a real blessing to him, that Jesus can use me to bless others.

Hence, I'm going really fired up about it. I want God to use me more. Lord! Use ME! I want to be a blessing to everyone around me. I know I can. I want people to step into the room and go 'eh, it's different.'.

Like Pastor Matt's preaching, that Passionate Christians in John Chapter 12
1) Give extravagantly
2) Worship Radically (YEAH!)
3) Change atmospheres
4) Expose religious hearts
5) Prepare the way for the resurrected King!!!

I was really touched by his message, now that I think of it. It was very uplifting. I really loved the firefighter analogy.

About in the fire department, there's 4 people. The Firefighter, who fights fires. Firetruck Driver, who drives the truck, Firetruck Mechanic, who fixes the firetruck, and the desk lady (Pei Jet) who make sure everythings prepared. What do they have in common?

They all fight fires. In one way or another. Hence we as Christians, though we are from different fields going out into the market. But our main purpose is to bring people to Christ!!

I AM A PLANETSHAKER!!!!!! AND I WILL SHAKE THIS PLANET VIA THE BUSINESS WORLD! :D

Living the victorious life.

2007-05-27T01:35:00.005+10:00

Was in church last Sunday. Out of the blue, I felt God telling me, "John, I want you to live a life, that before I bless you, will be the same as after I bless you, that you would not change, you will be the same, you must be prepared". Hence, for me, my resurgance of faith recently. I believe God is preparing me recently. Preparing my heart and mind for bigger things in store and the Big thing is very close. I feel as if I can almost touch it.

To some extent, trying to be prepared, it's almost ambiguous, I don't really understand or know what does it mean to be prepared. Hence recently I've been so hungry. Hungry for more spiritual food and spiritual growth. I want to seriously demand more, and pursue for more. I've been downloading alot of great men of God, their sermons and just been listening, and slowly trying to hit the main source, which is the bible. But i'm not there yet. I want to be at the stage, where the day I don't read my bible, I feel theres something missing in my life, unlike now, when I do read the bible I go 'uh' 'what the'. :D

In terms to being blessings, Like Spiderman says, great power comes great responsibility. I know I am not responsible, I know I am not smart, I know I am not wise, I know I am not strong. But with God, all things are possible. I believe he will empower me. He is my teacher, he is my business partner, he is my Daddy God. Hence, I want to learn to hear his voice more. In every circumstance of my voice.

In terms of my first step. Jesus says believe you receive. Mark 11:24, not the other way round. It sounds easy enough. But believing is more than just mentally knowing that you have it, but knowing also in your heart, in your words. You can tell whether a person believes by the words of his heart. And I want to start saying words of victory in my life. Hence, I want to live the victorious life.

How real is God to you?

2007-05-27T01:35:00.003+10:00

I dunno this question just struck me recently. How real is God to me? Do you believe God is God? Does he really exist and how much influence does he has on my life. Since joining planetshakers. I really learned how to resubmit alot of my life to him. Put down my life, many aspects of my life that I haven't given up to him. Put it on the altar, and let him take control.

And you know what. God is very very very very real. Makes me wonder what have I been missing out over these last couple of years. What life lessons he has for me that I have been missing out? What has the devil been robbing me off these past few years? I want it back! I want to live a spirit-filled life, I want to be a man of God, I want to live an empowered life. Not like the life that the world offers, but the life that only Jesus offers.

I believe I've just taken my first step into a new and exciting life. I've been a Christian all my life, but strangely enough I've never taken this road down before. A road that is just fully led by him.

The bank account mystery

2007-05-27T01:35:00.001+10:00

I've been giving and giving and giving money away. To blokes on the road (I like this guy on bourke street who plays the harmonica and guitar, and some violinist on Elizebeth) and been giving my tithes to church and abit more. And the strange part is, my bank account is constantly at AUD300. Hahah. I don't believe I've worked that much or anything, but Its constantly there. Praying now for 100 times more of that. :o)

When I had 70 dollars in my bank and 60 dollars in my wallet like 1 month ago, I was looking at it really hard. But without worry or shed a tear, I told God "Hey Dad, I'll leave it to you". And then wa-lah. Seems to stick at 300. And I got a good job, and everything seems set. Now to start building up on my savings. I really thank God for everything. He's just been so good, and it's only going to get better.

God is so good to me! :)

2007-05-27T01:34:00.002+10:00

Yes he has been. And he is.

I've just been spending some moments of reflection on the time I since I came here to Melbourne. I mean, there's been some really wonderful and blessed moments. Some down moments, but overall it's been a great experience.

I guess some of the biggest blessings that strike me would be my job. From how I managed to work in Fry's, eventually moving on to Melbourne Uni and currently. All the way I went, I suffered none, and all my jobs have been relaxing in a good working environment with encouragement and good supervision. I felt working at Melbourne Uni Law Faculty a really great and wonderful experience. From learning to work with people and under a great boss Heather Thomas. There's so many things I've learned especially the style of management.

Secondly, probably my apartment. Everyday the more I stay here, the more I'm falling in love with this place. You know thats a great feeling. That when you got something, and everyday it's surprising you in many different ways. The only big problem I have with it it's just the parking lots. :P

Thirdly, probably church. I mean, Planetshakers. It's been a real blessing to my life. It's like a fresh renewing of my faith and my belief. Thats the strange part, I have too much knowledge but of no love. Well, not that I have alot of knowledge, but I do have with some confidence more bible knowledge than the average joe I suppose. And I think Planetshakers is a great church for me to grow, to take the next step into a new realm of faith.

Fourth, Just simply living here. I haven't had any bad experience I could think of. Mostly have been either just a blur. Which means either boring. And good memories. :P I guess some of the good experiences are going out with friends eating around, and simply living here. Like I said. Going to victoria market, buying all sorts of weird and interesting food. Cooking and eating!

Planetshakers. My new home church?

2007-05-27T01:34:00.001+10:00

Today I went to Planetshakers with my cousin Ai Ling. It was very very good, great worship as expected. The preaching was alright.

But what struck me very powerfully and positively. Is that, it's a church that listens to God's voice. I was talking with Billy, a new made friend for nearly an hour. Was chit chatting about his business, and then about church hopping. He was really honest about his opinion and of course he has the best intentions for me. But what struck me was the genuiness and power in his words.

It wasn't a normal intelligent speech, or mind games or play with words. But it was a heart searching prophetic word of knowledge. How it made me search myself.

I've been very blessed to learn from the best, I have knowledge, but I have not found love. Hence I believe in my Christian life I have been somewhat an empty gong these past couple of years. But I think i've found a church where it is just the next step for me in my spiritual growth.

God is Love

2007-05-27T01:33:00.000+10:00

I was talking to a friend few days ago. She said that she perceives that Christians act differently from other people. And she asked why. I personally thought that she was very extremely insightful. I probably never thought that way. I told her it's because we have a different perspective on life and love.

Whats the difference between Christianity and every other religion? They love God. And not fear him. Every other religion can claim God is powerful, God is great, God is just. But only Christianity can say God is love.

John 3:16- For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whosoever would believe in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

Every other religion, it says, if you want God to show his favour on you, if you don't want to be punished, you must DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO. Do Good, Do 5 times prayer, Do...

Jesus said, It is DONE.

I used to thought that unconditional love especially from parents to their children is a normal thing. But truly it's not so. I know of many chinese parents who would easily beat up their kids because their love is conditional. Some don't even love their kids. You get all kinds of screwed up people in this world.

True love is unconditional, where someone would like you whether your good, or whether your bad. But how can you say God is love? God is a judicial God that good and evil must judged. How can God love you and bless you if you've done evil.Even the bible says that no evil deed shall go unpunished. (proverbs 11:21).

Thats where Jesus comes in. He is the loop hole. The sacrifice, the man who shall take away the sins of the World. The Jews believe in th transference of sins, so does Christians. That a person may suffer the consequence in your place if he wills to do so. God is a God of love, but at the same time he is a judicial God. Jesus is God in the flesh, the physical manifestation of God. Thus, he took it on to himself because he loves us. That there would be a way out for those who believe in him and receive his love.

Thus 1 John 4:10 says; Herein is love = Not that we loved God, but that he Loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

4:12 IF we love one another, God dwelleth in us and his love is perfected in us.

4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear; because fear hath torment (punishment) he that feareth is not made in perfect love.

Every religion in the world Fear's God. They fear his punishement. Hence they worship God in Fear. But Christians don't fear God. We are the only one's who can call him Father (Romans 8:15).

The perception of God is different, the outlook on life is different because of it. Even the way we worship God is different. See all our songs, there are songs of praise and worship thanking him for what he's done on the cross.

hence, the bible teaches us to love everyone else like Jesus does.Hate the sin love the sinner. You don't have to like the sinner, but you must love him. Everyone's a sinner, there is no BIGGER sinner or SMALLER sins. Sin is a sin irregardless of whether it's murder or looking at a girl with lust. Hence, Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God. Romans 3:10 - There is none righteous no, not one.

Movies say, the biggest lie the devil ever told is making people believe he doesn't exist.
The biggest lie the devil ever told is that you can do it on your own without God.

God is love. He loves you, and he cares for you. He doesn't want you to suffer thats why he sent Jesus. Christ came that he took your sins that you are righteous, he took your poverty and gave you prosperity, he took your sickness that you may have divine health. Why? Because JESUS LOVES YOU.

My new blog

2007-05-27T01:17:00.000+10:00

Hi everyone, This is my new Christ related blog.

After some thought especially after talking with my brother about it, I decided to move my Christian thoughts to this website rather than from my friendster blog.

I think it's for the best. I prefer my Christian blog to be somewhere more private than broadcasted as this is my private walk with God and my thoughts as I go through it. So do enjoy yourself here.